(no subject)
I'm so pitiful, I cried in my car tonight because I was so upset that the dry cleaners was closed when I went to pick up my dress for Formal Rush. I've felt the need to cry for a few days, though, so maybe it's a good thing.
This job has been the worst thing to happen to me this year. It's made me so stressed out. I go to school from 8-3:30 or 5 everyday of the week and then go to work (so far) 3 of those days. I have to time to practice or to do homework (as in today in sight singing when I didn't have the homework because I didn't get home from work last night until midnight). I have no time to practice, and worse, most of the time I have no desire to practice because the only things I desire are less stress, more sleep and maybe a little happiness (that's not to say there aren't good things, I'd just like to answer honestly when people ask "How are you?"). It really upsets me that I don't want to practice, because I really think amazing things could happen this year with flute, and not just because I'm getting a new one in a few months. I've got a good feeling about it all, but not if I'm not in a practice room doing exercises and practicing enough.
My attitude towards theory (a subject I like) is the same as my attitude towards math. If I think I can't do it, I block it out. Like right now, I'm stuck on these two exercises in Mode Mixture (aka Borrowed Chords) and I can't see what the chords are actually supposed to be because I'm all "I can't dooooo this."
My dad said he'd talk to my mom about the job thing because I sounded like I was about to break down when I talked to him on the phone tonight. I really hope they understand how this isn't going to work before I'm failing a class and it's too late. I don't even have time to study for the Beef's test that I have to take on Monday and pass with less than 5 answers wrong, so it might now even be by choice that I'm not working. It's not that I'm purposely avoiding the Beef's packet, I just don't have the time.
This weekend I just want to sleep, clean, go to the game, and hang out with friends (though I know that "homework" will be added to this list.)
Next weekend I'm going home for Martha's memorial and my birthday. I'm not even looking forward to my birthday right now.
This job has been the worst thing to happen to me this year. It's made me so stressed out. I go to school from 8-3:30 or 5 everyday of the week and then go to work (so far) 3 of those days. I have to time to practice or to do homework (as in today in sight singing when I didn't have the homework because I didn't get home from work last night until midnight). I have no time to practice, and worse, most of the time I have no desire to practice because the only things I desire are less stress, more sleep and maybe a little happiness (that's not to say there aren't good things, I'd just like to answer honestly when people ask "How are you?"). It really upsets me that I don't want to practice, because I really think amazing things could happen this year with flute, and not just because I'm getting a new one in a few months. I've got a good feeling about it all, but not if I'm not in a practice room doing exercises and practicing enough.
My attitude towards theory (a subject I like) is the same as my attitude towards math. If I think I can't do it, I block it out. Like right now, I'm stuck on these two exercises in Mode Mixture (aka Borrowed Chords) and I can't see what the chords are actually supposed to be because I'm all "I can't dooooo this."
My dad said he'd talk to my mom about the job thing because I sounded like I was about to break down when I talked to him on the phone tonight. I really hope they understand how this isn't going to work before I'm failing a class and it's too late. I don't even have time to study for the Beef's test that I have to take on Monday and pass with less than 5 answers wrong, so it might now even be by choice that I'm not working. It's not that I'm purposely avoiding the Beef's packet, I just don't have the time.
This weekend I just want to sleep, clean, go to the game, and hang out with friends (though I know that "homework" will be added to this list.)
Next weekend I'm going home for Martha's memorial and my birthday. I'm not even looking forward to my birthday right now.