using all of my will to keep very still, still even on the inside
it took me most of the year at college to find my true friends. the people who always made me happy, the people who came banging on my window, and the people whos windows i could bang on and know that i was always welcome. now that i am back i thought that everything was going to be as it was, but i suppose that was neive of me to think that.
its not to say that i havent had good times, and that i dont love all of my friends so very much. but things are different.
one of my best friends is 3 hours away. i never realized how important to me alessandra was until now that she isnt around...i am left feeling sort of lost. scrambling to find someone who can fill the space she left, but, no offence, i dont think there is anyone, at least not that can fill it in the way that she did.
then there are other friends that are still in town but seem to have left in one way or another. i am not good at letting people go.
there are of course the people that i can always count on that are still there full force. i should probably shut up and be happy for that.
also i miss steven. like alot.
to sum it all up i am not happy right now.
its not to say that i havent had good times, and that i dont love all of my friends so very much. but things are different.
one of my best friends is 3 hours away. i never realized how important to me alessandra was until now that she isnt around...i am left feeling sort of lost. scrambling to find someone who can fill the space she left, but, no offence, i dont think there is anyone, at least not that can fill it in the way that she did.
then there are other friends that are still in town but seem to have left in one way or another. i am not good at letting people go.
there are of course the people that i can always count on that are still there full force. i should probably shut up and be happy for that.
also i miss steven. like alot.
to sum it all up i am not happy right now.