High Seas - Back In Black
Back In Black - A Miranda x Reever One-Shot
My film tutor has me addicted to film noir, thus I parody it, badly.
Somehow my day had conspired thus far to see the destruction of the Third Lab, the removal by fire of my eyebrows, and now for the piece de resistance, to thrust a very tearful, very attractive woman into my probably broken arms. Should change my job description: Reever Wenham, plaything of the gods.
It all started this morning, around ten when my Supervisor finally rolled off my couch to do some work. Almost as soon as the door shut, it opened again and there she was. The minute she walked into my office I knew this dame was trouble. She looked good in that uniform, I admit it. Almost too good to be true. Something just didn't fit. But one look at those tired, smudged eyes and I knew I couldn't say no to her. I'm a damned fool for pretty eyes.
She said her name was Miranda Lotto, and I guessed it was probably true. She didn't seem the type to try that lie. Said she wanted to help. Now that's unusual in itself, shoulda tipped me off I guess. Normally these girls come in asking for my help. Want to find a lost kitty cat, a trinket, Marian Cross usually (the smug bastard). But this girl wanted to help me. Well I wasn't going to turn her away, not with eyes like that. Plus, she looked really good in that uniform.
So I took her on. Nothing much, a little bit of paperwork, answering a phone. Turned out she made a damn good cup of coffee.
I think things started to go wrong when I took her for lunch. Don't give me that look, I was just escorting her, like a gentleman. A reward for a productive morning. Distracted by an item of work, I let her carry our meals to our table where trouble struck like an angry viper with a tiger at its tail. Apparently confused by his benign appearance, she sat next to our resident jerk, Kanda. The son of a gun took aim and didn't miss, his sharp-shooting mouth had her crying in seconds. Backing away, she hit the table and the one next to it, sending the food on both to the floor. I could see him preparing to cut her down more, Jerry muscling up in the background to add his piece and knew she couldn't stand it. Pushing her out the door I took the blow - what gentleman wouldn't? An exchange of wit turned into a brief exchange of fists, until Jerry hauled us apart and threw me out. No matter. I'm a smooth kinda guy, it takes more than that to ruffle my feathers. Paid my dues and slipped out the back, flicking my collar up to hide the bruise.
Back in my office her tears continued, despite my words of comfort. The dame had more water in her than Niagara I swear, kept telling me how useless she was, how much she just wanted to be of help. All flailing hands and heaving bosom she leaned in close and I thought my world had got smaller, how much bigger her quivering lips looked. She looked up at me with those huge eyes and asked me what she could do to make it up to me.
I coulda bit through my tongue. The girl wielded her beauty like an amateur fencer wielding a sword: clumsy but it definitely hit home. I couldn't take advantage of it, that just ain't how I was brought up. I stood, straightened my coat, tried to regain my composure, trying to think of anything but her. Beautiful fountains, trains... everything seemed tainted by my desire for the girl who looked good in her uniform.
“Dinner, perhaps?”
She nodded enthusiastically, and started chatting brightly about what to cook.
I had to get away, get a drink, think of anything but her crawling closer in my lap. I slumped in my deskchair and reached into my drawer for my trusty bottle of cola. Already half-empty, it didn't do much but at least it took my mind off her for a moment. I contemplated the glass numbly. What kinda trouble had I got myself into this time?
Three minutes later, the answer came and it didn't bother to knock. There I was, comfortable, half drifting off when my desk starts shaking. I wasn't too stunned, we've got some big machines in this wing. Besides, I'd hate to see the damage if Ms Lotto decided to run anywhere. The next thing I know there's a hole in my floor and a wall of flame not a foot away from my face. Well, I screamed like a virgin on her wedding night and I'm not afraid to admit it, and kept screaming till the flames had retreated.
Like the blind leading the blind, more trouble was to follow. Ms Lotto burst in through the door and into my arms again, knocking me to the floor. Can't say I minded the view, but the girl could do with being more gentle you know? So that's how we got here, lying on the floor in the smoking wreck of my office.
Well there's only one thing you can do in a situation like that, but it's not like a gentleman to kiss and tell.