Comment to 'When you know each other better,you love each other better' by bellzm
While I certainly agree with you that the more open with no secrets a couple can be, the healthier their relationship will be, the idea of cloning a phone which , if you did without your partner's knowledge is by itself a betrayal of trust.
A better way is to build slowly the kind of relationship that opens the door to vulnerability so that in time (and it ALWAYS takes time), you can and do share everything with one another without judgement.
In 30 years of working with couples, I've never found one that has arrived at full honesty, because we are all so different. Different gender, different home life growing up, different education, beliefs, etc., and so, vastly different filters on what we hear - even using the same words.
You don't mention your relationship with God in your post - and having Christ at the center of your lives (both partners), gives you the whole of the Scriptures to guide each of you and together, becoming all that each of you is meant to become by our creator. Sadly, I've found that most spiritual interest in couples today comes from the woman - but there are those of us out there committed to helping men open their hearts, minds and actions to biblical truth. We are created to influence one another, not control, and too often we live out of the curse in Gen 3, instead of hearing from God the distinct and different roles husbands and wives are to have.
There is one relationship inventory that helps couples become more vulnerable and thus more trusting. It was created by Dr. Willard Harley many years ago, I'd be happy to send you a copy. My email is dfarr@ncs-az.net
Have a blessed day,
don
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A better way is to build slowly the kind of relationship that opens the door to vulnerability so that in time (and it ALWAYS takes time), you can and do share everything with one another without judgement.
In 30 years of working with couples, I've never found one that has arrived at full honesty, because we are all so different. Different gender, different home life growing up, different education, beliefs, etc., and so, vastly different filters on what we hear - even using the same words.
You don't mention your relationship with God in your post - and having Christ at the center of your lives (both partners), gives you the whole of the Scriptures to guide each of you and together, becoming all that each of you is meant to become by our creator. Sadly, I've found that most spiritual interest in couples today comes from the woman - but there are those of us out there committed to helping men open their hearts, minds and actions to biblical truth. We are created to influence one another, not control, and too often we live out of the curse in Gen 3, instead of hearing from God the distinct and different roles husbands and wives are to have.
There is one relationship inventory that helps couples become more vulnerable and thus more trusting. It was created by Dr. Willard Harley many years ago, I'd be happy to send you a copy. My email is dfarr@ncs-az.net
Have a blessed day,
don
View the entire thread this comment is a part of