Jul 10, 2004 20:08
But the actual touch of her lingered, inside his heart. That remained. In all the years of his life ahead, the long years without her, with never seeing her or hearing from her or knowing anything about her, if she was alive or happy or dead or what, that touch stayed locked within him, sealed in himself, and never went away. That one touch of her hand.
-Philip K. Dick "A Scanner Darkly"
I really dig that book. I feel really depressed right now. I ate something, and that made me feel a little better, but I still feel like shit. I want to do something totally different tonight. I feel like talking to people I haven't seen in a long time. It seems like I haven't had a good conversation in a long fucking time. One of those conversations that lasts for hours, the ones where you know you need to get to bed by 2 but eventually you just say fuck it, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Sometimes I don't feel like talking until after I stop hanging out with people. I was in bed last night and my head was full of shit that I wanted to share with somebody but there wasn't anybody there to tell it to. These are the only times that I almost with I had a cell phone, so if somebody else felt like that, they could just give me a buzz. I wouldn't feel right calling somebody at 3 in the morning but if somebody woke my ass up just because they felt like talking, I wouldn't mind at all. I had a revelation recently: fuck work. I want to do nothing but sit around the house reading and eating otter pops, wearing the same clothes for days on end and only leaving the house to see people I like. Someone just IMd me to randomly talk but Bao is coming.....sorry kara I seriously would have talked to you.