in which Leslie needs a beta just really quick, and you're all invited

Oct 06, 2010 15:56

Below is a poll. I'm trying to decide if the re-insertion of the extra paragraphs is an improvement or not. I don't think you need to read the whole thing to judge these sentences; consider this a teaser!

Please feel free to comment with further opinions.

"Indeed." Percy pursed his lips, looking for the right words. "It will be a great pity to no longer have these evenings, despite the studying."

Penny didn't reply, just looked up at him, her expression unreadable.

Percy felt his composure slipping. "Would you -- could we -- I mean!" He huffed and started over, more slowly. "I'd greatly enjoy the opportunity to continue to associate with you outside the confines of studying and prefect duties." He held his breath, hoping for certain words....

"Indeed." Percy pursed his lips, looking for the right words. "It will be a great pity to no longer have these evenings, despite the studying. I'd greatly enjoy the opportunity to continue to associate with you outside the confines of studying and prefect duties." He held his breath, hoping for certain words....

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