120.
Snippets of a conversation with elvenpath that are way too hilarious not to post and preserve forevs.
It all stemmed from this picture.
elvenpath: Leon and Eileen: brought together by their lives sucking, when all they really want in life is to go out and party
elvenpath: fklaerh omg Leon and Eileen really are good for each other
elvenpath: after getting sufficiently toasted...
elvenpath: Eileen: You know, I don't wanna freak you out or anything, but I was possessed once.
Leon: That's okay, I at one point had a mind-controlling parasite growing in my body and I strangled a woman I consider somewhat of an ally.
Eileen: *immediately gives it up to him. deep.*
elvenpath: Leon: And there was this one time I was chased around by a huge man in an overcoat who wanted to beat me to death...
Eileen: OMG ME TOO
pianotheme: Ohohoho!
elvenpath: Actually Leon's been chased around by two guys like that
elvenpath: lucky him
pianotheme: And neither of them could save the token kid. :C
elvenpath: and they'd have the hottest babies ever
pianotheme: All blue-eyed brunettes. With one blond runt.
elvenpath: vaskjrhs
pianotheme: With green eyes.
elvenpath: why does this work so well
elvenpath: WHY
elvenpath: Leon and Eileen would be that annoying couple that shows up to a party already drunk
pianotheme: And still manage to finish each other's thoughts.
pianotheme: Eileen: "Sorry we're late! Leon lost--"
Leon: "--My keys!"
elvenpath: and they both laugh
elvenpath: obnoxiously
pianotheme: Not only that, but they LOOK at each other and laugh. Like it's a big inside joke, hur hur.
elvenpath: saekljr
elvenpath: YES
elvenpath: omg and I can see it causing fights between other couples
elvenpath: like
elvenpath: Man: ... you invited the Kennedys?
Woman: UH YEAH they're our friends
Man: I don't want them fucking causing a scene again
Woman: What they won't cause a--
Man: Remember New Years?
Woman: .....
pianotheme: ROFL
pianotheme: Man: Hide the merlot, HIDE THE FUCKING MERLOT!
Eileen: I heard the 'M' word~!
elvenpath: Eileen: *trots off in search*
Leon: Hey, save some for me, sweetheart---! *pats her on the butt as she goes*
Everyone else: *stares. in disgust*
pianotheme: Woman: Never again.
elvenpath: the hosts of the party are mortified
pianotheme: Eileen and Leon are heretofore banned from any social gathering ever, until they make friends with a new, unassuming group of couples.
pianotheme: I imagine them moving every time they wear out their welcome with the local matrimony gang.
elvenpath: LOL
elvenpath: FAJWKRH
elvenpath: and after a while
elvenpath: idk
elvenpath: jill
elvenpath: or someone
pianotheme: LOL
elvenpath: pulls leon aside
elvenpath: and is like
elvenpath: "Leon, you're in your thirties now, don't you think it's time to calm down a little?"
elvenpath: and Leon just LOOKS at her
elvenpath: and is like
elvenpath: "I didn't have my twenties. Don't yell at me because you're stuck with Chris."
elvenpath: and then walks away
elvenpath: and Chris kicks his ass later
pianotheme: I bet Claire would chime in, too. Girls always do that shit in pairs.
pianotheme: "You never see Henry make an ass of himself."
elvenpath: Leon: "I never see Henry do much of anything."
pianotheme: Leon: "You never see Henry do ANYTHING--
elvenpath: swrhja
pianotheme: gdmit, Sirea.
elvenpath: LOL
elvenpath: AHAHAH
pianotheme: omfg
pianotheme: srsly? srsly now.
elvenpath: *DEAD FOREVER*
pianotheme: And Eileen comes over and squeezes his treetrunk arms and goes "Oooh. <3"
elvenpath: and then Leon uses this opportunity to just climb all over her, nuzzling her neck and stuff, just to shove it in Jill and Claire's faces
pianotheme: Eileen: "I know who's getting laid tonight~."
Leon: "Is it me?"
Eileen: "*tweaks his nose* You're so smart."
elvenpath: xklzdtrhdskjr
elvenpath: THAT IS
elvenpath: THE GREATEST EXCHANGE
elvenpath: I HAVE EVER HEARD
elvenpath: Henry's too busy trying his hardest to catch glimpses at Claire's butt without getting caught
pianotheme: Even though she's purposely trying to get him to notice.
elvenpath: exactly 8)
pianotheme: Claire: "Whoops, dropped my pencil! /bends"
Henry: "/DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY INTO IT"
elvenpath: Henry: ...FFFF IT'S A TRAP
pianotheme: lol
pianotheme: Henry probably thinks
pianotheme: that the second he takes a good long gander
pianotheme: Chris would fly through the window in riot gear and beat him to death.
elvenpath: LOL
elvenpath: AJRWKHW
elvenpath: lol the first time they have sex, Henry stops every few minutes
elvenpath: "You're sure Chris isn't here, right?"
pianotheme: LOOOL
elvenpath: and Claire's just like
pianotheme: "Will you stop?! I mean-- not STOP, but cut out the paranoia!"
elvenpath: "OMG ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO THINK ABOUT MY BROTHER WHEN YOU'RE FUCKING ME"
pianotheme: Henry: "...I could think about your sister?"
Claire: "Get out."
elvenpath: and then on the flipside
elvenpath: Eileen: Didn't you used to be an officer? Don't you know it's illegal to have sex in public~?
Leon: Only if you get caught. *drags her behind a building*
pianotheme: omfg hot
pianotheme: hot hot hot
elvenpath: 8)
elvenpath: fjajrh
elvenpath: and somewhere down the line
elvenpath: Leon calls Claire
elvenpath: and is like
elvenpath: Leon: "Eileen's away on some business trip. I don't know what to do with myself."
Claire: "... Watch some videos, I'm sure you'll reteach yourself."
Leon: 8| "You're always so mean to me."
Claire: "Tell me that's not the reason you called."
Leon: "... You know what, Claire..."
pianotheme: SFJDSGFJ LOL
pianotheme: Getting a tone with her.
elvenpath: and she's all like
elvenpath: "WOW I DON'T CARE THAT YOU MIGHT GO THREE DAYS WITHOUT GETTING LAID. POOR LEON."
pianotheme: Leon: "Just because you have sex with a robot..."
pianotheme: Claire: "*strangles him through the phone*"
elvenpath: Claire: He's NOT a robot!
Leon: He's not me, either.
Claire: Thank god for that!
pianotheme: rofl
pianotheme: Leon: "I can see why you'd be relieved. With me, you'd be too exhausted to walk."
Claire: "That's because I'd be running away from you all the time, loser."
elvenpath: Leon: You know how I love the chase.
Claire: Right, speaking of which, have you told Eileen about Ada yet?
Leon: ..........
Claire: *BEAMS THROUGH THE PHONE SO HARD LEON CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT*
pianotheme: OH SHIIIT. BURN!
elvenpath: 8)
elvenpath: And then Leon gives a bullshit retaliation response
elvenpath: and hangs up
It all stemmed from this picture.
elvenpath: Leon and Eileen: brought together by their lives sucking, when all they really want in life is to go out and party
elvenpath: fklaerh omg Leon and Eileen really are good for each other
elvenpath: after getting sufficiently toasted...
elvenpath: Eileen: You know, I don't wanna freak you out or anything, but I was possessed once.
Leon: That's okay, I at one point had a mind-controlling parasite growing in my body and I strangled a woman I consider somewhat of an ally.
Eileen: *immediately gives it up to him. deep.*
elvenpath: Leon: And there was this one time I was chased around by a huge man in an overcoat who wanted to beat me to death...
Eileen: OMG ME TOO
pianotheme: Ohohoho!
elvenpath: Actually Leon's been chased around by two guys like that
elvenpath: lucky him
pianotheme: And neither of them could save the token kid. :C
elvenpath: and they'd have the hottest babies ever
pianotheme: All blue-eyed brunettes. With one blond runt.
elvenpath: vaskjrhs
pianotheme: With green eyes.
elvenpath: why does this work so well
elvenpath: WHY
elvenpath: Leon and Eileen would be that annoying couple that shows up to a party already drunk
pianotheme: And still manage to finish each other's thoughts.
pianotheme: Eileen: "Sorry we're late! Leon lost--"
Leon: "--My keys!"
elvenpath: and they both laugh
elvenpath: obnoxiously
pianotheme: Not only that, but they LOOK at each other and laugh. Like it's a big inside joke, hur hur.
elvenpath: saekljr
elvenpath: YES
elvenpath: omg and I can see it causing fights between other couples
elvenpath: like
elvenpath: Man: ... you invited the Kennedys?
Woman: UH YEAH they're our friends
Man: I don't want them fucking causing a scene again
Woman: What they won't cause a--
Man: Remember New Years?
Woman: .....
pianotheme: ROFL
pianotheme: Man: Hide the merlot, HIDE THE FUCKING MERLOT!
Eileen: I heard the 'M' word~!
elvenpath: Eileen: *trots off in search*
Leon: Hey, save some for me, sweetheart---! *pats her on the butt as she goes*
Everyone else: *stares. in disgust*
pianotheme: Woman: Never again.
elvenpath: the hosts of the party are mortified
pianotheme: Eileen and Leon are heretofore banned from any social gathering ever, until they make friends with a new, unassuming group of couples.
pianotheme: I imagine them moving every time they wear out their welcome with the local matrimony gang.
elvenpath: LOL
elvenpath: FAJWKRH
elvenpath: and after a while
elvenpath: idk
elvenpath: jill
elvenpath: or someone
pianotheme: LOL
elvenpath: pulls leon aside
elvenpath: and is like
elvenpath: "Leon, you're in your thirties now, don't you think it's time to calm down a little?"
elvenpath: and Leon just LOOKS at her
elvenpath: and is like
elvenpath: "I didn't have my twenties. Don't yell at me because you're stuck with Chris."
elvenpath: and then walks away
elvenpath: and Chris kicks his ass later
pianotheme: I bet Claire would chime in, too. Girls always do that shit in pairs.
pianotheme: "You never see Henry make an ass of himself."
elvenpath: Leon: "I never see Henry do much of anything."
pianotheme: Leon: "You never see Henry do ANYTHING--
elvenpath: swrhja
pianotheme: gdmit, Sirea.
elvenpath: LOL
elvenpath: AHAHAH
pianotheme: omfg
pianotheme: srsly? srsly now.
elvenpath: *DEAD FOREVER*
pianotheme: And Eileen comes over and squeezes his treetrunk arms and goes "Oooh. <3"
elvenpath: and then Leon uses this opportunity to just climb all over her, nuzzling her neck and stuff, just to shove it in Jill and Claire's faces
pianotheme: Eileen: "I know who's getting laid tonight~."
Leon: "Is it me?"
Eileen: "*tweaks his nose* You're so smart."
elvenpath: xklzdtrhdskjr
elvenpath: THAT IS
elvenpath: THE GREATEST EXCHANGE
elvenpath: I HAVE EVER HEARD
elvenpath: Henry's too busy trying his hardest to catch glimpses at Claire's butt without getting caught
pianotheme: Even though she's purposely trying to get him to notice.
elvenpath: exactly 8)
pianotheme: Claire: "Whoops, dropped my pencil! /bends"
Henry: "/DON'T LOOK DIRECTLY INTO IT"
elvenpath: Henry: ...FFFF IT'S A TRAP
pianotheme: lol
pianotheme: Henry probably thinks
pianotheme: that the second he takes a good long gander
pianotheme: Chris would fly through the window in riot gear and beat him to death.
elvenpath: LOL
elvenpath: AJRWKHW
elvenpath: lol the first time they have sex, Henry stops every few minutes
elvenpath: "You're sure Chris isn't here, right?"
pianotheme: LOOOL
elvenpath: and Claire's just like
pianotheme: "Will you stop?! I mean-- not STOP, but cut out the paranoia!"
elvenpath: "OMG ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO THINK ABOUT MY BROTHER WHEN YOU'RE FUCKING ME"
pianotheme: Henry: "...I could think about your sister?"
Claire: "Get out."
elvenpath: and then on the flipside
elvenpath: Eileen: Didn't you used to be an officer? Don't you know it's illegal to have sex in public~?
Leon: Only if you get caught. *drags her behind a building*
pianotheme: omfg hot
pianotheme: hot hot hot
elvenpath: 8)
elvenpath: fjajrh
elvenpath: and somewhere down the line
elvenpath: Leon calls Claire
elvenpath: and is like
elvenpath: Leon: "Eileen's away on some business trip. I don't know what to do with myself."
Claire: "... Watch some videos, I'm sure you'll reteach yourself."
Leon: 8| "You're always so mean to me."
Claire: "Tell me that's not the reason you called."
Leon: "... You know what, Claire..."
pianotheme: SFJDSGFJ LOL
pianotheme: Getting a tone with her.
elvenpath: and she's all like
elvenpath: "WOW I DON'T CARE THAT YOU MIGHT GO THREE DAYS WITHOUT GETTING LAID. POOR LEON."
pianotheme: Leon: "Just because you have sex with a robot..."
pianotheme: Claire: "*strangles him through the phone*"
elvenpath: Claire: He's NOT a robot!
Leon: He's not me, either.
Claire: Thank god for that!
pianotheme: rofl
pianotheme: Leon: "I can see why you'd be relieved. With me, you'd be too exhausted to walk."
Claire: "That's because I'd be running away from you all the time, loser."
elvenpath: Leon: You know how I love the chase.
Claire: Right, speaking of which, have you told Eileen about Ada yet?
Leon: ..........
Claire: *BEAMS THROUGH THE PHONE SO HARD LEON CAN ACTUALLY SEE IT*
pianotheme: OH SHIIIT. BURN!
elvenpath: 8)
elvenpath: And then Leon gives a bullshit retaliation response
elvenpath: and hangs up