Yay for the ren fest. My middle finger is still totally numb from archery.... hmmmm. Hasn't effected my piano playin much tho, yay. And i was worse at knife throwing, only got 1 free maze pass today :(
I went in full garb this time. So much fun, and so different since so many other people do it; it really enhances the experience. Hack & Slash was particularly extra funny this time, omg. see... its deaf-consciousness weekend, and so they had alot of fun w/ the sign-language translator lol.
I went in today w/ one of Josephs authentic daggers, but when i entered they made me go back and put it in my car :( They said when people buy those type of weapons in the fair, they have to keep them in the box they come in. It was a cool dagger too, bleh.
Much merriment in the pub, as well... some fantastic musicians and... belly dancers ;) i even took some pictures of some of them w/ my new cellphone camera (no i didnt get the cellphone for the camera, it just came w/ one, but the pics still suk)
I saw my friend mike (a friend of mine who owns his own wood-carving/kid weapon hut at the fair) and bought him a beer. cute chicko wanted my ID at the pub... "M'lady i've been 23 times round the sun; feast thou eyes upon mine sheepskin..." "how does one do THAT?@" "ya drink more beer." A woman can make ya do anything or say anything. damnit.
Some lady wanted her picture taken with me today. hahaha it was funny, they were from the Phillipines, i guess they liked my outfit.
bought some incense... and for those to whom it may concern, I have discovered my favorite incense. It is called "Musk." there are many variations upon that theme, hence "Egyptian musk" (my first and favorite musk) and i've also seen "Romantic Musk" but they all smell romantic to me. The stuff makes me feel... well... enough of that...
School this year is extra awesome now that i've had a year of experience. wow. such an amazing feeling.... it feels as though i've been doing it for many years, and at the same time it feels like i just started last week. I feel like i'm back in college teaching those crazy labs, but now i don't get nervous at all; then all of a sudden i engage my mind and out of NOWHERE pops a whole year of teaching expereience and memories. I live in a house, own a car, pay bills, eat my own food from my own hand, all from my own bounty. no parents now, no friends... maybe God though. freakin crazy.
I found myself alone. that, also, is freakin crazy. There are no people near me who I knew mroe than 1 year ago, no people who know me any better than people from other places of my life; I am alone. True, i have grown close to a few. But its fine and dandy being alone, i relish in that. What i mean to say, however, is that i feel more lonely now. big difference. So now i live in a clear and independant stage of life... i'm on my own. What's the next step? well i don't like to think in terms of steps because that is societal bias hard at work tryin to get all people to follow the same simple steps of life to ensure that current society doesn't change. A society is much like an organism, it doesn't want to die. For a society to change would mean the given societal structure would die out. Well, we must work against that in order to make things better. but instead of going on now with a definition of "better" (which is in and of itself a dangeriously lengthy discussion for me) i will move on to what i was saying earlier... what's my next step. Well... there is a given. I am lonely. lets find a way to fix that. Ok how bout i hang out with alot of people. Ok, tried that... but im a weird person who few feel comfortable around (which i can observe, anyway), and i'm rather timid especially when in groups. so, consequently, many avoid me because maybe i don't bring them what they want: more societal-created 'values': good looks, drugssexrocknroll, bad-boy image, funny, conversations about TV shows, laugh at EVERYTHING somebody says, etc etc etc. Ok so hang out with alot of people does not do it. Hang out w/ 1 person? well who the hell else is gonna do that? my roomate has a life... and i have a life too, but not built around people, its built around my likes and dislikes (which seems to foster my lonliness). How bout... have a reason to hang out w/ 1 person? how bout a girlfriend? well that is another bumpy road for the same reasons as the "hang out with abunch of people" gave, (plus my standards are too high for what i can offer, i guess...).
I'm just thinking out loud right now, i don't know where i'm going with this. I just have a problem and don't really see a great way to fix it other than to try to fix something in myself if indeed there is something broke inside me. I feel a snowball effect of emotion deep inside my head though, oddly, and that scares me. BUT luckily i don't think i loose sight of the good things that i have, so that helps balance my psychy and keeps me sane, yay.
happy weekend