I need help.
Here's the situation: my apartment is a mess, and i can not find the motivation to clean. I have thought about this though, so perhaps somebody can help me get motivated after considering the following:
Basically, despite the recent and on-going battle with The Ants right now in my apt., the mess that i have around my apartment hurts me in no way whatsoever. In fact, the ants wanted nothing to do with any of my mess on the floors, or cans of soda, or anything. They found an area where there were fallen crumbs from where i often eat food on the floor. This is easily fixable, because now i jsut won't eat there, andi will be much more careful with crumbs in the future. Keep in mind, there were hundreds of ants going NOWHERE but one small area, and were unable to even reach the most unsanitary areas in the kitchen, for instance. I never loose things within my mess, beacuse my mess has an organization all its own. Clothes sit on the loveseat that can be reused, important papers are found on the floor with other clutter in the corner next to the dvd's/movies/video games, and so on. The only problem i can think of is my mess would be difficult for somebody ELSE to sift through to find something.
My point is: my mess brings me no harm.
Secondly, all other efforts that i HAVE successfully cleaned up in the past have been in vain. For example, the only reason i cleaned last semester once was because I had some people over, and i did not want to inconvienience them with my mess, so i cleaned up. To make matters more complicated, they were female, and i additionally wanted to impress them, or keep them from thinking that i am a fundamentally DIRTY or messy human being. These efforts proved a waste of time; my relationship with all who see my apartment would essentially be the same whether my apartment is a mess or not, and since my apartment is small anyways, i don't like having people over anyways, even when it is clean. I am not the best host in the world. (Maybe i WOULD be more of a host if i had a much more elaborate apartment/house, but as it concerns my present situation, screw it. nobody cares.
So at this point your asking yourself: so why do you want your apartment clean in the first place? well, i honestly do like living in a clean area, maybe because its just different from the usual messy mayhem that consumes my life, typically. And besides that, alot of my friends that have been over to my apartment have said, "dude you need to clean up." They won't listen to my logic with why this place is messy. (alot of the people around here don't listen to any logic or philosophy that i have about other stuff either) And the cold truth about my personality is that a big part of me aims to please, and i really feel good when i can invite somebody over and not have to worry about the mess being in the way. (in other words, i have that option if need be, even though i may never take advantage of that option) But eventually this place gets messy anyways because I am very knit-picky about the time i spend doing things, and I cherish the few seconds i have to finish something to do online for instance rather than use those few seconds to place something clear across the room just beacuse that was where it was when i got it. It seems stupid to me to do that, especially when i can have everything i need right at hand, even though it looks unorganized compared to the lifestyle that 'clean' people have perhaps in an effort to either: impress, convienience other people when present, or otherwise.
now as far as all of you readers are concerned: what other reasons would i have to clean up vs. don't waste my time cleaning up? and no, it did not take hours for me to write this livejournal thing, precious time that it would have taken me to clean this ENTIRE apartment anyways, so don't even go there. I can see certain 'loops' in my reasoning with this issue that i have now discussed, but I just sort of need a different kind of motivation if i expect to really clean my apartment. like, somebody tell me if a large magority of girls actually are TURNED-ON by a non-cluttery/non-messy guy.
I guess i could pay somebody to clean it....
thanks
jasian for inspiring this post lol