(no subject)
I've been told that I'm weird and most of the time I've taken it as a compliment. Anything to be remembered, right? I bring this up because I really made a breakthrough on my inner dialogue about my odd behavior in larger social situations.
Relationships! The innate cause of many a confused teenager/twentysomething (do I really have to call myself that? Ugh). I'm afraid that something (even something as inconsequential as dancing/talking/making eye contact) is going to create some kind of connection past friendship that I won't be ready/prepared for. It sounds dumb, especially when I look at it typed there. But it has done me a great favor in simplifying my life, up until now.
Suddenly I discover just how hard this makes it to have female friends. It's a pretty irrational fear, and I've been doing better with it in recent years, now that I've identified it and attempted to loosen up. But every so often I'm starkly reminded of it, and I'm terribly embarrassed by it.
I guess I hope to make more strides in making myself more comfortable in those situations by sharing this thought process. It may also serve as an insight into some of my stranger behaviors.
In any case, I feel better after writing it down, which is most important when it comes to xangablogs. So that's good.
Relationships! The innate cause of many a confused teenager/twentysomething (do I really have to call myself that? Ugh). I'm afraid that something (even something as inconsequential as dancing/talking/making eye contact) is going to create some kind of connection past friendship that I won't be ready/prepared for. It sounds dumb, especially when I look at it typed there. But it has done me a great favor in simplifying my life, up until now.
Suddenly I discover just how hard this makes it to have female friends. It's a pretty irrational fear, and I've been doing better with it in recent years, now that I've identified it and attempted to loosen up. But every so often I'm starkly reminded of it, and I'm terribly embarrassed by it.
I guess I hope to make more strides in making myself more comfortable in those situations by sharing this thought process. It may also serve as an insight into some of my stranger behaviors.
In any case, I feel better after writing it down, which is most important when it comes to xangablogs. So that's good.