(no subject)
It's something really distressing for me when a quality of mine that I perceive as a flaw is highlighted twice in one day.
In this case, it's introvertedness (pretty ugly-looking word, right?) It ties to so much else...tension, awkwardness, general eccentricity, etc. that really make it tough for me to live with myself and what I end up doing nearly every night (that is, playing games, listening to music, guitaring, and so on). Most of the time it's satisfying enough, but on some nights I can't get over how alone I feel (it's often when seemingly everyone is drinking).
Sometimes I wish I had just a bit of my brother's people skills. As it is...here I am, repeating the pattern.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have the courage. Probably not. But I can always hope that moving out of my normal patterns will be good for me, or that I'll be forced out of it.
That'd be nice.
In this case, it's introvertedness (pretty ugly-looking word, right?) It ties to so much else...tension, awkwardness, general eccentricity, etc. that really make it tough for me to live with myself and what I end up doing nearly every night (that is, playing games, listening to music, guitaring, and so on). Most of the time it's satisfying enough, but on some nights I can't get over how alone I feel (it's often when seemingly everyone is drinking).
Sometimes I wish I had just a bit of my brother's people skills. As it is...here I am, repeating the pattern.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have the courage. Probably not. But I can always hope that moving out of my normal patterns will be good for me, or that I'll be forced out of it.
That'd be nice.