Rock-Bottom Was Temporarily Struck
I've wanted to make about four different posts tonight, of different feelings and emotions, different security levels and meanings. I might as well get some of them over with so I can feel at least a little better about myself.
Today had to have been one of the worst days ever. I hate having these days too, but come on, why can't I see the freaking irony and hypocrisy in this world? If one has a great weekend, then one cannot have a great Monday. I had an amazing weekend. My weekend was mainly one to remember because I got to spent most of the time with my best friend, Derek, plain and simple. Usually I find Mondays to be fun because it's the start of the week, getting back into the swing of things, and then there's community band to top it off. This Monday sucked beyond reason, and I just want it to end.
- woke up late
- didn't have time to write my picture post entry
- was 10 minutes late to jazz band
- forgot my cross-country outfit in the car; mom had to bring it later
- felt awkward during Spanish
- late to lunch line, which meant late to Photography Club meeting
- still can't find Night, so I will have to pay for it
- was late to AP Music Theory
- forgot my cross-country forms at home so I was not allowed to practice with the team
- felt a huge wave of rejection, irresponsibility, and self-ridicule while stretching alone
Here's where the day topped off at being horrible...
- my run today lasted only 22 minutes. It was 22 minutes of absolute pain and agony in 98 degree heat. Never before have I felt so awful during a run; I was out of it, and couldn't take it
- crashed myself at Derek's house to try and relax
- but I couldn't slow my heart rate. It kept beating really fast for about 20 minutes afterward, and all the while I was having a panic attack and couldn't figure out what was going on. It was so incredibly frightening to me, I didn't have the courage to finish the run
- had to call my mom to pick me up
- was late to getting my stuff from the assistant coach Matt's car
- wasted some time at home
- though I tried to be early, I was (yet again) late to leaving the house, late to picking up Derek, and late to community band
- the conductor Bruce raised his voice for the very first time when I was apparently playing when I wasn't supposed to; I felt horrible
- the rest of community band still didn't go well. I had lost all hope for the day ending well
- I'm now here typing this, wasting time (it seems) on recollecting my awful day
+ felt good about a pop quiz I took in World History
+ apart from feeling awkward in Spanish, I also participated well and got a "BINGO" when we played, the first person to achieve it
+ the rice bowl I had was amazing
+ Amber (current president of the Photography Club) wants to make me president soon, so I felt almighty about that
+ had a good laugh in English with Caitlin
+ enjoyed reading the portion of Night that we read
+ I was the first one to get the rhythm dictation right during AP Music Theory, and got all of my stepwise dictation notes right
+ I put sunscreen on, so a sunburn wasn't the issue
+ before the workout, at least, I did stretch and I did do the gut-busters
+ eternally I feel so incredibly grateful to have a best friend like Derek. Just knowing I was able to stop at his house because I couldn't take it was enough, but he also was cool about the whole situation, and was just there for me. You have no idea how much this means to me, but I hope Derek does
+ my friends on cross-country directed me to where Matt's truck was, so people didn't forget/ignore me
+ the shower felt good and of a well-deserved and necessary cool-down
+ I felt good about my attire and myself going into community band. Self-esteem a high one right there
+ hanging out with Derek almost the whole time at community band was really awesome
+ I felt like I was polite, for the most part, to everyone
+ overall, the main reason today was not completely bad, was because I had a best friend there for me, which means the world to me
The cons outweigh the pros only slightly because I enunciated the fact that there wasn't all bad to the whereabouts of today. I suppose in the end, "tomorrow's another day," but it won't let me forget the foolishness I felt sporadically throughout today. However, I feel better already, and know that it's in the past, and I only have a future to look forward to. If I anticipate the good times, such as festive events, classes I like, lunch, or just hanging out with my best friend, then not all of it can be bad. I'm such an emotional and moody person, and I hate being pessimistic. I guess, though, whenever there's a bad day, there's usually a good one to follow! Those good days can continue if I just let them turn out positive. I'll try and make that work.
~Chris
Today had to have been one of the worst days ever. I hate having these days too, but come on, why can't I see the freaking irony and hypocrisy in this world? If one has a great weekend, then one cannot have a great Monday. I had an amazing weekend. My weekend was mainly one to remember because I got to spent most of the time with my best friend, Derek, plain and simple. Usually I find Mondays to be fun because it's the start of the week, getting back into the swing of things, and then there's community band to top it off. This Monday sucked beyond reason, and I just want it to end.
- woke up late
- didn't have time to write my picture post entry
- was 10 minutes late to jazz band
- forgot my cross-country outfit in the car; mom had to bring it later
- felt awkward during Spanish
- late to lunch line, which meant late to Photography Club meeting
- still can't find Night, so I will have to pay for it
- was late to AP Music Theory
- forgot my cross-country forms at home so I was not allowed to practice with the team
- felt a huge wave of rejection, irresponsibility, and self-ridicule while stretching alone
Here's where the day topped off at being horrible...
- my run today lasted only 22 minutes. It was 22 minutes of absolute pain and agony in 98 degree heat. Never before have I felt so awful during a run; I was out of it, and couldn't take it
- crashed myself at Derek's house to try and relax
- but I couldn't slow my heart rate. It kept beating really fast for about 20 minutes afterward, and all the while I was having a panic attack and couldn't figure out what was going on. It was so incredibly frightening to me, I didn't have the courage to finish the run
- had to call my mom to pick me up
- was late to getting my stuff from the assistant coach Matt's car
- wasted some time at home
- though I tried to be early, I was (yet again) late to leaving the house, late to picking up Derek, and late to community band
- the conductor Bruce raised his voice for the very first time when I was apparently playing when I wasn't supposed to; I felt horrible
- the rest of community band still didn't go well. I had lost all hope for the day ending well
- I'm now here typing this, wasting time (it seems) on recollecting my awful day
+ felt good about a pop quiz I took in World History
+ apart from feeling awkward in Spanish, I also participated well and got a "BINGO" when we played, the first person to achieve it
+ the rice bowl I had was amazing
+ Amber (current president of the Photography Club) wants to make me president soon, so I felt almighty about that
+ had a good laugh in English with Caitlin
+ enjoyed reading the portion of Night that we read
+ I was the first one to get the rhythm dictation right during AP Music Theory, and got all of my stepwise dictation notes right
+ I put sunscreen on, so a sunburn wasn't the issue
+ before the workout, at least, I did stretch and I did do the gut-busters
+ eternally I feel so incredibly grateful to have a best friend like Derek. Just knowing I was able to stop at his house because I couldn't take it was enough, but he also was cool about the whole situation, and was just there for me. You have no idea how much this means to me, but I hope Derek does
+ my friends on cross-country directed me to where Matt's truck was, so people didn't forget/ignore me
+ the shower felt good and of a well-deserved and necessary cool-down
+ I felt good about my attire and myself going into community band. Self-esteem a high one right there
+ hanging out with Derek almost the whole time at community band was really awesome
+ I felt like I was polite, for the most part, to everyone
+ overall, the main reason today was not completely bad, was because I had a best friend there for me, which means the world to me
The cons outweigh the pros only slightly because I enunciated the fact that there wasn't all bad to the whereabouts of today. I suppose in the end, "tomorrow's another day," but it won't let me forget the foolishness I felt sporadically throughout today. However, I feel better already, and know that it's in the past, and I only have a future to look forward to. If I anticipate the good times, such as festive events, classes I like, lunch, or just hanging out with my best friend, then not all of it can be bad. I'm such an emotional and moody person, and I hate being pessimistic. I guess, though, whenever there's a bad day, there's usually a good one to follow! Those good days can continue if I just let them turn out positive. I'll try and make that work.
~Chris