Huh huh... Another (useless) holiday spent...
Back here again.
I met my dear friend last Friday. I haven't seen her over a year or so and I really, really liked talking to her. I could have spent another 7 hours talking to her ^___^
I was feeling blue during the break ;_; So I wrote the following. It's all angst-angst, my way to get the bad feelings out. There are some parts I really like and I think I'll try to polish it so it might actually become lyrics. Then I'd only need the melody :P
I want my head to be empty again
I don’t want to think of those things anymore
I want myself back
I don’t want to be in that black hole
Where I’ve been for the past months
I want to be free inside my head again
Now I go over the same things over and over
Never finding the answers
I’m so alone
All alone inside my head
No one to comfort me
No one to set me free again
I am afraid of being
I am afraid of seeing
I am afraid of hearing
I am afraid of being seen
I am afraid of being heard
I am so afraid
So afraid of myself
So afraid of that great black pit inside of me
Will just take me
And again I am all alone with my thoughts
The same ones that haunt me day and night
No matter what I do
They will follow me
No matter how much I want to leave it behind me
It seems the harder I try
The harder it is
At least for one day
I would want these thoughts go away
For one day I want to be as nothing happened
For one day…
For one day I don’t want to cry…
But as I cannot have that
I will rather feel this pain
It shows at least that I feel
I rather hurt and feel
Than not
Because I am made of flesh and bone
I am made of something stronger than stone
I wish to feel
But for one day
Let me not think of you…
Yeah, sums up my thoughts pretty much. *sighs*
Oh, the cat had some sort of infection or something [peeing blood, not good] and we got the penicillin for that. We managed to keep it inside couple days, then the idiot ran away, came back over 24 hours later and it had already missed 2 doses. Then it ran away yesterday also, and it didn't come back home before I left, so it missed another dose... What ungrateful ass...
Tomorrow oral examination, checking what's wrong with my reports [again] and start reading for my exam on Tuesday x_X I don't want to... But I must, I want a better grade as I know I can do better than 1... And on Monday I'll go to talk with my professor about my summer job! Something nice at least!
EDIT
Toy Story 3 coming out in July! *dom1*
I want to see it!
/EDIT
I met my dear friend last Friday. I haven't seen her over a year or so and I really, really liked talking to her. I could have spent another 7 hours talking to her ^___^
I was feeling blue during the break ;_; So I wrote the following. It's all angst-angst, my way to get the bad feelings out. There are some parts I really like and I think I'll try to polish it so it might actually become lyrics. Then I'd only need the melody :P
I want my head to be empty again
I don’t want to think of those things anymore
I want myself back
I don’t want to be in that black hole
Where I’ve been for the past months
I want to be free inside my head again
Now I go over the same things over and over
Never finding the answers
I’m so alone
All alone inside my head
No one to comfort me
No one to set me free again
I am afraid of being
I am afraid of seeing
I am afraid of hearing
I am afraid of being seen
I am afraid of being heard
I am so afraid
So afraid of myself
So afraid of that great black pit inside of me
Will just take me
And again I am all alone with my thoughts
The same ones that haunt me day and night
No matter what I do
They will follow me
No matter how much I want to leave it behind me
It seems the harder I try
The harder it is
At least for one day
I would want these thoughts go away
For one day I want to be as nothing happened
For one day…
For one day I don’t want to cry…
But as I cannot have that
I will rather feel this pain
It shows at least that I feel
I rather hurt and feel
Than not
Because I am made of flesh and bone
I am made of something stronger than stone
I wish to feel
But for one day
Let me not think of you…
Yeah, sums up my thoughts pretty much. *sighs*
Oh, the cat had some sort of infection or something [peeing blood, not good] and we got the penicillin for that. We managed to keep it inside couple days, then the idiot ran away, came back over 24 hours later and it had already missed 2 doses. Then it ran away yesterday also, and it didn't come back home before I left, so it missed another dose... What ungrateful ass...
Tomorrow oral examination, checking what's wrong with my reports [again] and start reading for my exam on Tuesday x_X I don't want to... But I must, I want a better grade as I know I can do better than 1... And on Monday I'll go to talk with my professor about my summer job! Something nice at least!
EDIT
Toy Story 3 coming out in July! *dom1*
I want to see it!
/EDIT