Thy Crimson Tears Make Me Thirst for More: part 8
Here again with my most joyful writing... Not high class literature. Now were are getting closer to the stuff I've written lately. I think these are written during this autumn, turning out more or less odd. I really don't like the way the first one turned out. The idea was so good in my mind and then... Meh... Nothing seems to get easy for me.
For thousands of years I have loved. I have become weak; I am fading away because of it. I was brought to earth by my father, an ancient god, and ever since I've fallen in love again and again. I remember every single one I've loved; from the first moment to their last breath. I've watched them wither as I've kept on living. All those long years, short after all, I spent with my loved ones. One after one they were taken to where they were created from. I wept for each and every one of them as I loved them all, one at a time. Seeing them all wither away I began to curse eternal life. The more I loved, the more it hurt. My father saw my agony right from the beginning, but he didn't want to lose me. He finally gave me salvation, he game the gift of death. But it comes in small doses as righteous to immortal. Our immortality is our curse, but those who can't love the way human do can't understand it. The gift of my father was that with every man I love I will lose myself, till I become a whisper in the trees. For centuries I've used this gift still not even close to the whisper, my father has never been good in giving gifts. It becomes harder, loving and falling in love. The more my heart gets broken the less I want to feel it again. It becomes harder to love; it becomes harder to live.
***
To feel your touch is to live. To feel is to love, to love is to feel? Can one love without touching? Can one be overwhelmed with that feeling though never being touched? Is it impossible? If I'd never feel you on my skin again, would it mean I'm dead? Is love really touching? What is real love? Could I have that true feeling for you though I'd never touched you, never felt your presence? Would I have that feeling if you wouldn't be you? Would I search you for my whole life even if you wouldn't exist? Was I in love with you before me met? Was I alive before you kissed me? Is love asking questions like this? Is love not love if you have to ask these questions?
***
He stares at me for a moment too long. It happens so quickly, I can't help myself for doing it. I twine my arms around his head and press my lips to his. He's surprised, doesn't really know how to behave. To my surprise he answers the kiss and wraps his arms around me. The kiss lasts like an eternity, time loses its meaning. It's as if only he and I exist. But everything has to come to an end and so does this stolen moment also. He looks me in the eye and takes my hand. I squeeze his hand to make sure he is really there. The smile on his lips makes me happier than anything, it makes me feel whole.
***
That's it for now, posting some more in the near future, if I get it written that is. I've got loads of ideas, but I don't seem to get them on paper... Two longer ones are under progress plus all the things I've started earlier and some shorter ones in my head... Oh dear...
For thousands of years I have loved. I have become weak; I am fading away because of it. I was brought to earth by my father, an ancient god, and ever since I've fallen in love again and again. I remember every single one I've loved; from the first moment to their last breath. I've watched them wither as I've kept on living. All those long years, short after all, I spent with my loved ones. One after one they were taken to where they were created from. I wept for each and every one of them as I loved them all, one at a time. Seeing them all wither away I began to curse eternal life. The more I loved, the more it hurt. My father saw my agony right from the beginning, but he didn't want to lose me. He finally gave me salvation, he game the gift of death. But it comes in small doses as righteous to immortal. Our immortality is our curse, but those who can't love the way human do can't understand it. The gift of my father was that with every man I love I will lose myself, till I become a whisper in the trees. For centuries I've used this gift still not even close to the whisper, my father has never been good in giving gifts. It becomes harder, loving and falling in love. The more my heart gets broken the less I want to feel it again. It becomes harder to love; it becomes harder to live.
***
To feel your touch is to live. To feel is to love, to love is to feel? Can one love without touching? Can one be overwhelmed with that feeling though never being touched? Is it impossible? If I'd never feel you on my skin again, would it mean I'm dead? Is love really touching? What is real love? Could I have that true feeling for you though I'd never touched you, never felt your presence? Would I have that feeling if you wouldn't be you? Would I search you for my whole life even if you wouldn't exist? Was I in love with you before me met? Was I alive before you kissed me? Is love asking questions like this? Is love not love if you have to ask these questions?
***
He stares at me for a moment too long. It happens so quickly, I can't help myself for doing it. I twine my arms around his head and press my lips to his. He's surprised, doesn't really know how to behave. To my surprise he answers the kiss and wraps his arms around me. The kiss lasts like an eternity, time loses its meaning. It's as if only he and I exist. But everything has to come to an end and so does this stolen moment also. He looks me in the eye and takes my hand. I squeeze his hand to make sure he is really there. The smile on his lips makes me happier than anything, it makes me feel whole.
***
That's it for now, posting some more in the near future, if I get it written that is. I've got loads of ideas, but I don't seem to get them on paper... Two longer ones are under progress plus all the things I've started earlier and some shorter ones in my head... Oh dear...