Er... Maybe Not
Last night, I made mention that I honestly couldn't see why management would get rid of me at this point. I think I spoke too soon. Early into the shift, Aaron was called to the Ad Office, and after he returned, they called me. Two of the managers wanted to talk to me, and as soon as the door closed, I pretty much figured that this visit wasn't because I was doing well.
They were nice enough, thankfully. Didn't seem mad at all, and made sure I knew that from the start. They explained this wasn't a coaching, just a heads up. Basically, they're concerned about my productivity in the back room. I'm slow (that's how I put it), and they'd like me to get more done. Especially with the holidays coming up, when there will be more stuff.
I was told that as I'm a temp, this is kind of getting to the point where they need to start considering whether they'd like to keep me or not. They told me that they'd like to see if they can keep me, because I have a good attitude. But a good attitude doesn't get their truck done, sadly. Then they asked if I think that I can speed up, or if there was something that would help me do so.
I started to explain as best as I could, but I didn't get very far until one of them noticed my gloves (which have wrist guards) and that I have my feet wrapped. So then I had to explain why I where those, and now they're thinking maybe ICS is too difficult for me. Normally, they don't switch people so early. Especially when they don't seem to be doing well in the area they're at now. Nevertheless, they asked me to go work in HBA today instead. They needed one of us down there anyways, since all of the people who usually work there weren't there today. They asked me to see what I thought of it and tell them tomorrow.
...I don't think I like HBA. All there was was two carts of stuff they hadn't been able to get to the day before, but it seemed to take forever. Yes, that isn't where I usually work, so I didn't know where things were. But even then it still seemed to take so long to find where to put things. And there were so many stolen packages, and someone broke a shampoo bottle and it was getting all over the toothpaste... To be honest, I think standing around there hurt my feet more than working in the back room.
Around midnight, I returned to help wit the sweeping and everything. I guess the night time managers weren't told that I was asked to work in HBA instead for the day. I thought about asking if I'm really so slow of a worker that what I manage to do isn't good enough to keep me there, but I decided not to. Just thinking about it was stressing enough; I'd have made a fool of myself if I attempted to bring up.
When I was walking out, Glenn caught up to me with his car. Guess he'd planned to give me a ride but had forgotten. The guy's too damn perceptive. He asked if something was wrong, and even though I said it was all right, he asked if I was upset about what management had told me.
I wish he hadn't asked. Because then I had to provide some sort of answer, and like I thought, it just made things worse. I tried not to, but I ended up crying. And even though I did my best to hide it, I know he could tell. Couldn't keep my voice from cracking.
Now that I'm home, I can't stop. And I don't know why. It's not like they're mad at me. And they said so themselves that this wasn't a coaching or anything. I have a tendency to overthink things, and all that's going through my head is that come mid-December, I won't have a job anymore.
I'd do just about anything to keep this job. But I wish I could stay in the back. I don't want to work in HBA, but I think that's the only stocking position open. I doubt they'd make me a cashier or a people greeter. I just want to stay where I am...
I don't think it's going to happen, though.