In which Batotoro saves the day from farting unicorns and furbies and Ash is jealous of my Awesome
Because I'm bored, the following is an AIM conversation held between Ash and myself. Following that is a status message war between us and Angel... who is sort of involved in the original conversation.
And all of this requires a background explanation.
You see my friends, I can act quite retarded on AIM. What can I say. Ash is a jerk who brings out the psycho in me. This conversation starts as most of our conversations do - with the two of us arguing over who's stupider than the other and trying to make ourselves look cooler to prove that we win. There's an in-joke between us that resulted from such a conversation: That I am so awesome I had to create a separate entity to contain it. His name (yes, he is male) is Spare Awesome. And he is awesome. So awesome that Ash tries to steal him from me from time to time because she is not.
AHEM. Anyways. Cut because long AIM log is long. <3
Ash: Sure, sure
Ash: But mine's the best
Pi: Uh huh.
Pi: Sorry. Talking to interesting people over here. You say something?
Ash: I ate your spare awesome for breakfast.
Ash: That is all.
Pi: Oooh. I get to watch him claw out of your stomach now? 8D
Ash: I have an IRON STOMACH thank you very much
Pi: HE'S SO AWESOME THAT BEING DIGESTED IN YOUR STOMACH ACID CAN'T KILL HIM.
Pi: He's made out of adamantium.
Ash: GOOD.
Ash: He'll be my little intestinal friend
Ash: Better friend than you ever were /sobs
Pi: ADAMANTIUM GOES THROUGH IRON WHY WOULD HE WANT TO STICK AROUND WITH YOU
Pi: I have so missed our discussions, Ash.
Ash: They're always so mentally stimulating
Pi: They're nothing but insults. So lovely.
Ash: XDDD
Ash: I communicate via insults. Ask anyone
Ash: 'tis the sacred language of the Ash
Pi: If anyone asks
Pi: We were discussing the properties of mercury.
Ash: Pff
Ash: You could at least tell a half truth and say it's about the relative density of adimanium to iron
Ash: /intelligent head nod
Pi: But people might deduct what we were REALLY talking about from that.
Ash: ...people would guess that your spare awesome is an immortal midget living in my lower intestine?
Pi: YOU NEVER KNOW
Ash: Damn.
Pi: I'm sure Angel would guess it.
Ash: LET'S DO AN EXPERIMENT THEN
Pi: OKAY
AFTER SOME TIME PASSED IN WHICH I TOTALLY DID NOT TELL ANGEL HOW TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION
Ash: Pi, you bitch. You're trying to stuff the ballots
Ash: I WIN BY DEFAULT
Pi: /did no such thing whut
Ash: The innocent act won't work with me
Ash: I figured out you're evil a long time ago
Pi: It is not an act.
Pi: Compared to you, I'm a freaking angel.
Ash: And don't you forget it.
Ash: XD
Pi: Angel says to stop neglecting Fred.
Ash: Tell her if she feels so bad for him, she can come pay attention to him herself
Ash: He'd love the company
Pi: He's another midget that you've locked in your stomach, isn't he?
Pi: DON'T WORRY FRED. AWESOME WILL SAVE YOU.
Ash: XDDDDD
Ash: HE'S MY MINI REFRIDGERATOR
Ash: And he's always starving
Pi: How mean. ):
Ash: Like you said, I'm evil
Pi: Horribly so.
Pi: And you have a vore fetish.
Ash: Ewww. No, your awesome has a vore fetish
Pi: No way, man.
Ash: He climbed right in there
Pi: Awesome is too awesome for that.
Ash: Too awesome for YOU, more like
Pi: ONLY TO CLAW YOUR INNARDS OUT.
Ash: Seems pretty happy to me
Pi: He is my SPARE awesome.
Pi: He is a part of me.
Ash: I think you put too much faith in your awesome
Pi: It is a symbiotic relationship.
Ash: Uh-huh
Ash: And I'm the parasite
Ash: /sucks dry
Pi: ADAMANTIUM
Ash: /has adamantium teeth
Pi: well shit
Pi: /GODMODS
Ash: Oh no you didn't
Ash: /BITCHWANK
Pi: /ANONWANK
Ash: /RP!SWANK
Ash: /TENTHOUSANDHORRIBLESECRETS
Pi: /ANON ON RP!S WANK
Ash: /FILLS UP RP!S FOR TWELVE DAYS STRAIGHT WITH HATE SECRETS OF YOUUUU
Pi: Clearly, I must use the ultimate weapon.
Pi: /gets unicorns that fart sunshine and rainbows
Pi: /and aims them ass first
Pi: /AT YOU
Ash: /FIREHOSES FULL OF BEAN-O
Ash: CUTS THE GAS FAST!
Pi: /feeds them alketseltzer
Ash: /pepto bismol
Pi: /makes them regurgitate
Pi: /ON YOU
Ash: BUT AHA YOU HAD THEM AIMED ASS FIRST
Ash: LOOKS LIKE THEY PUKED ON YOU
Pi: So now you have sunshine, rainbows, AND PEPTO BISMOL
Pi: HOW DID YOU GIVE THEM THE BEAN-O THEN?
Pi: YOU HAD TO HAVE MOVED
Ash: IN A FIRE HOSE
Ash: LONG RANGE FIRING
Ash: I SHOWERED THEM IN IT
Pi: IT WOULD HAVE ONLY HIT THEIR ASSES
Ash: IT COVERED THEM IN IT
Pi: DID THEY INGEST THE PEPTO BISMOL THROUGH OSMOSIS?
Ash: YES
Ash: YES THEY DID
Ash: YOUR UNICORNS ARE AMEOBAS
Pi: THEY'RE TOO BIG FOR THAT
Ash: THEY'RE HUGE AMEOBAS
Ash: MUTANT AMEOBAS OF FAIRY UNICORN LAND
Pi: AND THEY FIGHT THE CONSTIPATOR.
Ash: LMFAO
From there, we devolved into the status message war.
Pi: Ash, this is our most retarded conversation ever. I'm never talking to you again.
Ash: At least I don't have gassy amoeba unicorns. Just sayin'.
Pi: But you're stuck with the firehose of Bean-O. That must be a bitch to rent.
Angel: How did I get caught up in this?
Ash: Who said anything about rent? IT IS MY CREATION.
Pi: That's not very creative, Ash. I mean. I had farting unicorns that could've gassed you to death with rainbows.
Ash: Yeah, well, YOUR SPARE AWESOME IS MINE!!!!11
Angel: Actually, Pi, every unicorn I've met shits butterflies.
Ash: Correction to Angel's status: Peppermint butterflies.
Angel: Sorr-EEE, Ash.
Ash: IT'S MY THING YOU BETTER BE
Angel: Fuck it. /sends you both to My Little Pony Hell
Ash: /boils in caramel
Pi: Angel, why would you do that to me. You like ME.
Angel: Nnn... true. /gives flamethrower to Pi
Pi: YAY! Is caramel flammable? LET'S FIND OUT.
Angel: I don't know, but Ash probably is.
Pi: SHE'S NOT RESPONDING SO SHE MUST BE. I WIN!
Angel: FINISH HER
Pi: SHORYUKEN
Angel: FATALITY
Pi: DECLARE ME THE VICTOR, ANGEL. QUICK.
Angel: 1P: PI. WINS.
Pi: SUCK IT, ASH
Ash: UP YOURS, PI
Angel: Pi's prize is a ticket out of MLPH. Have fun in peppermint-shit land, Ash. <3
Pi: Goodbye Ash~ Enjoy your stay~
Ash: /RAGEQUITS
Angel: /Writes sequel: TMNT in Furbyland
Ash: NO FURBIES
Angel: DOO-AY
Pi: /sics Sanji and Usopp on them
Ash: I hate you all 8|
Angel: FuRbyyY wWufVVs uYuouUUU
Ash: I'll fucking roast those furbies on a stick
Angel: Don't worry, Totoro!Batman will fly down and curb stomp those poor bitches.
Ash: ILU Totoro!Batman~
Pi: Totoro!Batman, you're my hero!
Angel: ...So wait, would it be like Batotoro?
Pi: Nahnahnahnahnahnahnahnah BATOTORO.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled flist entries. <3