life
Life is a bitch. Nothing less. I was walking behind a friend and their friend. Both of which I have met on more than one occasion. I was wearin my new pair of shoes breaking them in. I walked behind them for at least 200 yards and they knew I was there and carried on a conversation as if I was not there. That hurt. Especially since I also got the cold shoulder from a friend up here at ASU that I've known since my days at Cape Fear High School.
My realization of the night is that it is relatively easy to forget people. Without constant contact, memories become faceless, unless they are cherished.
There are 3 instances that are bothering me at the moment. The first one is relatively minor. I was supposed to help ResNet today from noon to 5pm today. Well, it was more like 1:30/2 to 5pm. So I essentially got some training today. It wasn't a total loss.
The second happens to be more recent. I like this one girl whom I've known from working at Hobby Lobby. We have kept in touch for the past year and we've essentially become each other's best friends. In addition to that, we've also been developing feelings for each other, at least that is what is very evident. Now, all she can brood about is her 2008 Mazda 3i, and this guy that she has met and developing feelings for. She's told me many many times how she can't do long distance relationships because she feels as if she is untrustworthy. Well, she's gonna try a LDR with this guy. Its great because it isn't me that is the guinea pig. But yet, its the thought of her running with some other guy has me feeling betrayed.
The third and last one has taken a few years to develop. I met a girl at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in the fall of 2003. I guess you can say that I went head over heels for her. She was able to do what I could not even though I tried my damnedest to achieve the same goals. I have thought about her at least every week for a couple minutes. I stayed single for a year and a half hoping that I had a shot with her only to be crushed later on a trip back to Nebraska after a year and a half has gone by. I sent emails and made phone calls. No responses for the emails and she dislikes phone conversations. I had touched her though. I gave her a bike. She told me a story that she had a bike when she was younger but it was stolen from her and she had been bikeless for years. I gave her a bike that if she was to buy it brand new, it would be $300-400. She tried to give me money for it and I wouldn't take it. I told her that I was giving her the bike through the kindness of my heart and I meant it. She yet has one other token of my admiration.
Are both wonderful girls now to become victims by me of what I have been a victim of for so long? Is what I am going to be doing for the next 3 days going to be forgotten or taken for granted because I'm just a poor young adult attempting to make my way in an inflating world? If one runs off with others and comes to me with problems and the other doesn't talk to me, it seems that it would be the right call. But what if I do go to a place that I've always wanted to go to? Whom would be better than the one whom I've not have contact with to show me the ropes around the place? What if I was to go back to Fayettenam evicted from college for the second time? Would it be worth trying to do a relationship with the other if she isn't running?
I've been told that one has to want to be depressed to become depressed. It makes sense but yet there are faults, like most everything else. If one does everything right and yet the walls still keep caving in, desperation and depression will set in. I try to be happy but first I have to want other things that will as a result not become depressed. In many instances one has to jump through hoops in order to achieve what the goal is.
Hopefully, now that I've written this stuff down, I can find a path to checkmate, or solve the problem. Wir werden sehen. Wir werden sehen.
My realization of the night is that it is relatively easy to forget people. Without constant contact, memories become faceless, unless they are cherished.
There are 3 instances that are bothering me at the moment. The first one is relatively minor. I was supposed to help ResNet today from noon to 5pm today. Well, it was more like 1:30/2 to 5pm. So I essentially got some training today. It wasn't a total loss.
The second happens to be more recent. I like this one girl whom I've known from working at Hobby Lobby. We have kept in touch for the past year and we've essentially become each other's best friends. In addition to that, we've also been developing feelings for each other, at least that is what is very evident. Now, all she can brood about is her 2008 Mazda 3i, and this guy that she has met and developing feelings for. She's told me many many times how she can't do long distance relationships because she feels as if she is untrustworthy. Well, she's gonna try a LDR with this guy. Its great because it isn't me that is the guinea pig. But yet, its the thought of her running with some other guy has me feeling betrayed.
The third and last one has taken a few years to develop. I met a girl at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in the fall of 2003. I guess you can say that I went head over heels for her. She was able to do what I could not even though I tried my damnedest to achieve the same goals. I have thought about her at least every week for a couple minutes. I stayed single for a year and a half hoping that I had a shot with her only to be crushed later on a trip back to Nebraska after a year and a half has gone by. I sent emails and made phone calls. No responses for the emails and she dislikes phone conversations. I had touched her though. I gave her a bike. She told me a story that she had a bike when she was younger but it was stolen from her and she had been bikeless for years. I gave her a bike that if she was to buy it brand new, it would be $300-400. She tried to give me money for it and I wouldn't take it. I told her that I was giving her the bike through the kindness of my heart and I meant it. She yet has one other token of my admiration.
Are both wonderful girls now to become victims by me of what I have been a victim of for so long? Is what I am going to be doing for the next 3 days going to be forgotten or taken for granted because I'm just a poor young adult attempting to make my way in an inflating world? If one runs off with others and comes to me with problems and the other doesn't talk to me, it seems that it would be the right call. But what if I do go to a place that I've always wanted to go to? Whom would be better than the one whom I've not have contact with to show me the ropes around the place? What if I was to go back to Fayettenam evicted from college for the second time? Would it be worth trying to do a relationship with the other if she isn't running?
I've been told that one has to want to be depressed to become depressed. It makes sense but yet there are faults, like most everything else. If one does everything right and yet the walls still keep caving in, desperation and depression will set in. I try to be happy but first I have to want other things that will as a result not become depressed. In many instances one has to jump through hoops in order to achieve what the goal is.
Hopefully, now that I've written this stuff down, I can find a path to checkmate, or solve the problem. Wir werden sehen. Wir werden sehen.