And once more I say to you
I think this is mostly me talking into space now, but that's okay.
My grandmother passed away today, so I went digging to see what I had written here when my grandfather passed. Apparently twelve years ago. It wasn't all that enlightening but I did manage to put down that I would make him proud. I'm....not sure if I have? Maybe, maybe. I graduated and got a BA in Psych and then I went on to get an MS in nutrition. And I had a steady job for a while and now I have one again.
I got married, got a new cat. Got a new apartment. Learned to cook.
Learned to use less emoji's.
And so on.
I...I'm not sure what I have to say to my grandmother yet individually. I think I'll figure it out as I process. But to both of them as a couple:
I love you. And I'm sorry if I wasn't ever able to express how much I loved both of you. When I think of my childhood I can't help but think of them and everything they did for me. It was a lot. I got pulled out of lunch to spend lunch with them and we would eat at Blimpie's and then go to the park until I had to go back to school. My grandfather would cook sometimes and my grandmother other times. We would go to Houlihan's and eat shrooms and my grandfather would always order a second order to take home.
I wish I could talk to him now, talk to him about food beyond what my palette was then. Talk politics, talk the world, talk anything. With my grandmother I...I'm not sure yet. But you were amazing and it's okay that you're gone now. It's okay, I'm just sorry you had to go on the end of this terrible fucking year.
Maybe all I can say is that I'll try to make both of you proud.
My grandmother passed away today, so I went digging to see what I had written here when my grandfather passed. Apparently twelve years ago. It wasn't all that enlightening but I did manage to put down that I would make him proud. I'm....not sure if I have? Maybe, maybe. I graduated and got a BA in Psych and then I went on to get an MS in nutrition. And I had a steady job for a while and now I have one again.
I got married, got a new cat. Got a new apartment. Learned to cook.
Learned to use less emoji's.
And so on.
I...I'm not sure what I have to say to my grandmother yet individually. I think I'll figure it out as I process. But to both of them as a couple:
I love you. And I'm sorry if I wasn't ever able to express how much I loved both of you. When I think of my childhood I can't help but think of them and everything they did for me. It was a lot. I got pulled out of lunch to spend lunch with them and we would eat at Blimpie's and then go to the park until I had to go back to school. My grandfather would cook sometimes and my grandmother other times. We would go to Houlihan's and eat shrooms and my grandfather would always order a second order to take home.
I wish I could talk to him now, talk to him about food beyond what my palette was then. Talk politics, talk the world, talk anything. With my grandmother I...I'm not sure yet. But you were amazing and it's okay that you're gone now. It's okay, I'm just sorry you had to go on the end of this terrible fucking year.
Maybe all I can say is that I'll try to make both of you proud.