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So I went to see City Ballet tonight and it kept my attention the WHOLE NIGHT!!!
I LOVED the program and I think Le Tombeau de Couperin, Tarantella and Bugaku were my favorites!!!!!
Bugaku was so damn dramatic, I LOVED IT!!!! Omg, my favorite piece.
I was so inspired and then depressed....because I could never be up there dancing with them. Doing these masterpieces......I don't know if Ill ever be able to do them in my LIFETIME and that sort of depressed me. That no matter now hard I work, I don't think Ill ever get to that point......
On top of that, I was out with Mac......which, he's going thru all this drama with these two boys.....which sucks because on top of THAT, I like him myself. Im probably the one he's been out with the most in terms of things that he likes to do, but, of course, Im the one who's not in the equation.
Luis says that I need to get my shit together. And I do.....I really do.....I just don't think I know where to begin.
I need to distance myself from Mac though.......I need to let him find his way....I need to let him do his thing.....because I can't get jealous or I can't get protective....I can't sit here and worry about someone who doesn't give a fuck about me....ya know? And that seems to be the recurring theme in my life.....I seem to put my energy into the fools who don't know if IM coming or going.....or rather don't even care.....How can everything that you're looking for be right under your nose and you just MISS IT? Thats so crazy.......I mean.....I'm real...I'm cute, I have a beautiful body....Im intelligent, Im wise....Im mature.....there's a few loose kinks...obviously, but im working on thoes....and you choose others.....wow.....I think I should just give up.
Besides...I want LA Ballet..... :o( That was my first choice.....Before aspen, before anything....I wanted LA ballet....I have to more months of Willie and Elena......
I LOVED the program and I think Le Tombeau de Couperin, Tarantella and Bugaku were my favorites!!!!!
Bugaku was so damn dramatic, I LOVED IT!!!! Omg, my favorite piece.
I was so inspired and then depressed....because I could never be up there dancing with them. Doing these masterpieces......I don't know if Ill ever be able to do them in my LIFETIME and that sort of depressed me. That no matter now hard I work, I don't think Ill ever get to that point......
On top of that, I was out with Mac......which, he's going thru all this drama with these two boys.....which sucks because on top of THAT, I like him myself. Im probably the one he's been out with the most in terms of things that he likes to do, but, of course, Im the one who's not in the equation.
Luis says that I need to get my shit together. And I do.....I really do.....I just don't think I know where to begin.
I need to distance myself from Mac though.......I need to let him find his way....I need to let him do his thing.....because I can't get jealous or I can't get protective....I can't sit here and worry about someone who doesn't give a fuck about me....ya know? And that seems to be the recurring theme in my life.....I seem to put my energy into the fools who don't know if IM coming or going.....or rather don't even care.....How can everything that you're looking for be right under your nose and you just MISS IT? Thats so crazy.......I mean.....I'm real...I'm cute, I have a beautiful body....Im intelligent, Im wise....Im mature.....there's a few loose kinks...obviously, but im working on thoes....and you choose others.....wow.....I think I should just give up.
Besides...I want LA Ballet..... :o( That was my first choice.....Before aspen, before anything....I wanted LA ballet....I have to more months of Willie and Elena......