(no subject)
My grandmother is visiting for a week, and today I went to my mother's place to spend the day with her. This turned out to be a gradually soul-destroying exercise, since both of them like pointing out, in an 'only for your own good' sort of way, the myriad ways in which I am other than they would like me to be.
Today, these included the fact that I'm lazy, I'm too thin, the stories that I make are 'nasty' (my grandmother is a Christian and dislikes fantasy stories, she would prefer that my stories were 'nice'), I spend too much time sitting up late talking to my internet friends, and I'm 'prickly'.
Well, yes. If you spend time poking my soft spots, I'm going to curl up and show spikes.
Mum does this all the time, and she also tells me off in public like I'm nine, not twenty-nine. She did this today, too, and my grandma backed her up when I called her on it, saying she was 'just trying to help me'. These are not the only people in my life who do this.
You know why I get so defensive when questioned about my geek life that none of them are really interested in and think is actually going to lead to my doom? Because I hate having to justify my lifestyle and defend my perfectly good friends to people who have no real interest in this anyway. AGAIN.
I may be feeling this rotten because I'm due, I don't know, it's not like I really keep count. I actually hope it's not, because I'm starting to be really sick of only ever feeling genuine sadness or anger when I'm about to come on. It'd be nice to feel like I have a right to my feelings for once and it not just be hormonal imbalance or something.
*sigh* Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll be over it soon. Gonna curl up and go and pester someone for nasty RP or something.
Today, these included the fact that I'm lazy, I'm too thin, the stories that I make are 'nasty' (my grandmother is a Christian and dislikes fantasy stories, she would prefer that my stories were 'nice'), I spend too much time sitting up late talking to my internet friends, and I'm 'prickly'.
Well, yes. If you spend time poking my soft spots, I'm going to curl up and show spikes.
Mum does this all the time, and she also tells me off in public like I'm nine, not twenty-nine. She did this today, too, and my grandma backed her up when I called her on it, saying she was 'just trying to help me'. These are not the only people in my life who do this.
You know why I get so defensive when questioned about my geek life that none of them are really interested in and think is actually going to lead to my doom? Because I hate having to justify my lifestyle and defend my perfectly good friends to people who have no real interest in this anyway. AGAIN.
I may be feeling this rotten because I'm due, I don't know, it's not like I really keep count. I actually hope it's not, because I'm starting to be really sick of only ever feeling genuine sadness or anger when I'm about to come on. It'd be nice to feel like I have a right to my feelings for once and it not just be hormonal imbalance or something.
*sigh* Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll be over it soon. Gonna curl up and go and pester someone for nasty RP or something.