(no subject)
I keep getting bad waves of anxiety with thoughts of imminent job loss. There isn't a real reason to think that is the case, but anxiety isn't a rational affliction. As far as I can tell, they have a policy in place at work that would mean I could see it coming more clearly. I wish I could just relax for a change.
Thanks to fucking Trump and his likely tariffs next month, there were some major purchases I wanted to make for some time and I just made them within the past few weeks. I also noticed that in my current budget period, I have three paychecks coming in; I budget for two paychecks per month. I bought a PS5 and a new computer for gaming. I don't have any games for either yet, though I asked for some for Christmas for the former and preordered one for the latter.
I have one more standard week of work ahead of me before a more relaxed schedule the remainder of the year. First, my last physical therapy is this week and I'll be glad to not have that burden anymore. I hate how much it fucks up my routine on a work night. That aside, I work five days with two remote this coming week. After that, there are two consecutive holiday weeks, the first of which is all remote. Last year it was dead and I was just on call. I had maybe 5 minutes of work that whole week and I spent that week in Oklahoma. I'm not interested in going back this year. After the week of New Year's Day, it's only two standard weeks until MLK Day. Not like it'll be relaxing though: that's my annual big doctor day. I have a dentist appointment and my physical. Normally, after that it would be that godawful stretch until Memorial Day. That weekend begins 123 days after MLK Day in 2025. Luckily, I have that vacation in between to break it up. That causes me a little anxiety, too, as there are things I still need. I need Egyptian pounds, a visa, and some transportation sorted out. But that can wait until next month. I hate that I can't buy my FlyAway ticket yet either. That has to be within 30 days of purchase, and both my outbound and inbound flights are well more than 30 days away.
Two shitty things happened with work recently, and they're both from the same person. She lives in Eagle Rock and loves booking conference rooms in our Glendale office. I had to do that yesterday. That meant my 3.5-mile commute was over 9 miles, the 15-20 minutes it takes to get home took 50, my most preferred remote work day was canceled on top of losing a remote work day this week, and I had to stay an hour later than normal. That put me in a foul mood. On top of that, this same person wanted to have an informal holiday party if the department wasn't going to host one. She thought that because the planning committee was slow to invite everyone. They did at last, which was a relief to me. Still, she wanted to host one anyway. It's at 4:30 on Monday and this time I'm saying fuck it. I won't go and that's a hill I'm willing to die on. I thought it might look bad to not go, but then again, I've gone to some holiday parties (including that one at LAFLA in 2022) and was still let go regardless. I've been getting more and more reserved and less inclined to be with people over the past several years, so this sounds like torture to me. For some reason, this whole thing developed in LA. I don't really know why. I know what I need to do to meet people, but it doesn't interest me.
Thanks to fucking Trump and his likely tariffs next month, there were some major purchases I wanted to make for some time and I just made them within the past few weeks. I also noticed that in my current budget period, I have three paychecks coming in; I budget for two paychecks per month. I bought a PS5 and a new computer for gaming. I don't have any games for either yet, though I asked for some for Christmas for the former and preordered one for the latter.
I have one more standard week of work ahead of me before a more relaxed schedule the remainder of the year. First, my last physical therapy is this week and I'll be glad to not have that burden anymore. I hate how much it fucks up my routine on a work night. That aside, I work five days with two remote this coming week. After that, there are two consecutive holiday weeks, the first of which is all remote. Last year it was dead and I was just on call. I had maybe 5 minutes of work that whole week and I spent that week in Oklahoma. I'm not interested in going back this year. After the week of New Year's Day, it's only two standard weeks until MLK Day. Not like it'll be relaxing though: that's my annual big doctor day. I have a dentist appointment and my physical. Normally, after that it would be that godawful stretch until Memorial Day. That weekend begins 123 days after MLK Day in 2025. Luckily, I have that vacation in between to break it up. That causes me a little anxiety, too, as there are things I still need. I need Egyptian pounds, a visa, and some transportation sorted out. But that can wait until next month. I hate that I can't buy my FlyAway ticket yet either. That has to be within 30 days of purchase, and both my outbound and inbound flights are well more than 30 days away.
Two shitty things happened with work recently, and they're both from the same person. She lives in Eagle Rock and loves booking conference rooms in our Glendale office. I had to do that yesterday. That meant my 3.5-mile commute was over 9 miles, the 15-20 minutes it takes to get home took 50, my most preferred remote work day was canceled on top of losing a remote work day this week, and I had to stay an hour later than normal. That put me in a foul mood. On top of that, this same person wanted to have an informal holiday party if the department wasn't going to host one. She thought that because the planning committee was slow to invite everyone. They did at last, which was a relief to me. Still, she wanted to host one anyway. It's at 4:30 on Monday and this time I'm saying fuck it. I won't go and that's a hill I'm willing to die on. I thought it might look bad to not go, but then again, I've gone to some holiday parties (including that one at LAFLA in 2022) and was still let go regardless. I've been getting more and more reserved and less inclined to be with people over the past several years, so this sounds like torture to me. For some reason, this whole thing developed in LA. I don't really know why. I know what I need to do to meet people, but it doesn't interest me.