Too much brain for me
The past few days have been hard for me. I just had been doing a lot of thinking. Since I am back home in the East Bay, still finding the right job (before I end up taking that gig in SF in the Fall if I find nothing), I have had a lot of time to think.
The sucky part about thinking is that with me, when I think, I overthink. Or sometimes I think so much that I am clouded with ideas, emotions or whatnot that isn't a good idea.
I start reminiscing about the good times and now how they are all gone. I also start thinking about the future and how it's not as nice as I had hoped it would be. I think about my present time and just see why I am not being more productive.
So it's been a lot of thinking for me lately. I still have some time before I eventually end up doing work full-time.
It's hard though because for most of my life, I've been surrounded by people on a consistent basis. Through school, through work and whatever, I have been able to be around friends and coworkers. That helped me not think as much.
But now since I am by myself mostly, I have a lot of thoughts going through my head. Nothing to occupy my mind, so I am left to wonder a lot and a lot. Healthy? Probably not. Lonely? Yeah.
I suppose growing up as an only child forces me to not like being alone. And as the older I get, I just don't like that idea at all. Stupid brain making me think too much.
Well, it's not like I'm depressed or anything. Depression is when the brain can't handle reality. I can handle it just fine. Just bored and lonely, that's all...