Just incase you forgot; I know I haven't... (see bottom)
“Didn’t it bother you/Wasn’t it awkward sleeping in the same room as him after you made out?”
“No, I don’t let things like that bother me.”
…You don’t let the fact that you kissed your best friend’s RECENT (It'd been 2 weeks) exboyfriend (I’ve come to terms with the fact I obviously wasn’t your best friend, not even in Orlando, you and Shannon have something real special), the guy she had been in love with for almost a year now, the guy she was still trying to get back together with, the one person who meant more to her than anything. While you were intoxicated by the romantic cruise (That I was supposed to go on), I spent the WHOLE week of Spring break getting advice from friends a family, and thinking of ways to get Dan back and how he and I could have fixed our relationship. You’re little crush for him was stronger than your friendship and loyalty to me. And who cares if you cried afterward? That just means your conscience kicked in TOO LATE. And don’t you dare tell me those tears were for my sake - you cried because you rightfully felt guilty for your wrong doing, but not for me. You weren’t crying because you knew how much you’d hurt me, if you had know how much you hurt me, you wouldn’t have continued being in his arms and in his room the rest of the cruise. Hell, you wouldn’t be dating him if you were a real friend. But I’d never ask you to do that, this was obviously MEANT to be for you two selfish jerks - go bond over rap music and your crooked morals.
So how about the fact that you not only felt the need to DOCUMENT yourself kissing him, but ALSO post it on Facebook? Do you know how hypocritical that is? You got mad at me for venting when I was having a nervous breakdown after hearing the worst news in my life - you said I was wrong for saying those things on LiveJournal where “everyone” could see it. Well, the only people I know of that read MY LiveJournal are my cousin, sister, and maybe Zach sometimes. YOU on the other hand, posted pictures of you kissing my ex boyfriend, you in his arms on Facebook. THAT is where everyone sees things, whether they want to or not because thumbnails show up on their News Feed. None of your friends saw my LJ post, but do you know how many of my friends and family members were hurt and or pissed off from those pictures? How could you be so inconsiderate? You’ve definitely hurt more people by posting the pics than I did with my one LJ post.
“But Christie you like LOTs of guys, why’d you have to kiss Dan? You flirt with that guy you work with, you have a crush on that guy who regularly goes to the club you work in, you have a thing for Peter in Gainesville, and when Will’s cousin was down, we all thought had been down longer, you would have hooked up with him.”
“Will’s cousin and I just have things in common. I’ve always been flirtatious, lots of girls on high school used to hate me for it. But I’m always going to be perceived that way and I don’t feel the need to change myself. I’m going to stay in high school forever”
...First of all, good luck with that whole ‘staying in high school’ thing. Second of all…if so many people see you that way…shouldn’t that tell you something? That you ARE a big flirt? Do know another way of looking at that? Flirting excessively with boys? Being a tease or leading them on. See, another way to look at it is: well my friends know who I really am, and they know I’m not a big flirt. Well….I was your friend…and now I know you’re just a flirt. Being your friend, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt “Oh Christie IS just naturally flirtatious…” ….but still, what does that mean? What does it mean to be naturally flirtatious? That you’ll flirt with guys on a regular basis and it won’t mean anything to you? And that’s ok?
Well, I think that was kind of a lot to swallow at once….but….this crap has been on my mind for too long.
Shift in subject - I’m kind of sorry to go here, but this also still hurts me everyday:
“I’m always here for you, but don’t be offended if I don’t call - I’m going to be really busy this month”
…..seriously? Is that how it works? You’re my friend when it’s convenient for you? You couldn’t make time for me when you lived 10 minutes away? You sure had time to hang out with Christie and Dan in that time… But how dare you say that when my friends from home, who don’t have a dime to their name, drove 3 hours to be there for me? They had classes and jobs and lives back home, but they were there for me when I needed them the most. And when Dan first broke up with me and you were “giving me my space” …please. You guys should’ve offered your friendship off the back and had I asked for space, then you could have given it.
And how bout “We’re not going to take sides..”
…uhmm….. If Will continued being best friends with Dan, and you were best friends with Christie….and all they got were slaps on the wrist from you guys…AND I never saw you guys besides going to Target the last week of school….I think that’s choosing a side. When you hang out with THEM and think “oh, Kellie can’t come out with us because we’re hanging out with them..” it should have been “If Dan and Christie hadn’t been idiots, they could be hanging out with Us” And you said in your defense that you weren’t spending one-on-one time with Alison, or maybe even Christie, BUT THEY HADN’T JUST HAD A NERVOUS BREAK DOWN. When I’m coming to you saying that I wish you’d spend more time with me because I’m hurting so bad, I’m asking for you to put that extra effort in, which may include one-on-one time. AND by continuing to be their best friends…you’re accepting what they did. And fine, they were both single and kissed on a cruise, but can’t you agree that they’re not so great friends if they both hurt me so badly? Look at your best friends now - they really screwed me over and ruined our friendships, you’ve lost some strong ties with me because of them, and I guess that doesn’t hurt you too badly, but I definitely lost all four of you as my main group of friends all because of those two.
I'm sorry that this is all coming out in bulk, but this has been hurting me everyday. I'm 180 miles away and every pain of Orlando is with me wherever I go. Even good memories seem tainted by these thoughts and make me not want to go back to Orlando. I would however, like to acknowledge Shannon and Will's more recent attempts at rebuilding our friendship by coming over to say 'bye' to me before I left and by checking up with me on Facebook (Thanks, sincerely). And as for Christie...you've hurt me the most out of the 3 and as of yet , I still can't forgive you enough to overlook the same things I overlooked before to be your friend. I can't bring myself to put effort into rebuilding our friendship, when apparently the value of being one of your good friends can be demolished by a stupid crush. So I guess time heals everything, supposedly, and I hope to get past these things because they ARE making me bitter and I honestly hate myself for having such harsh thoughts and resent after 3 months. But if I'm still hurting after 3 months, it was a pretty deep blow -- and you all know that I have never been into dramatics, I've never been the person who throws situations out of proportion (I know I've flipped out a few times AFTER the news, but I mean before even the break-up, when things were "normal"). I just think all of this could have and should have been dealt with differently, and I think that if Christie wanted to date Dan, she should have told me about her on-going crush on a bit sooner, so I could have maybe braced myself. Yes, maybe I still would've resented her and would have still hated to see them together, but I think that the more "friendly" way is being honest up front and from the beginning, and not out of being desperate to spill your guilty conscience on me.
“No, I don’t let things like that bother me.”
…You don’t let the fact that you kissed your best friend’s RECENT (It'd been 2 weeks) exboyfriend (I’ve come to terms with the fact I obviously wasn’t your best friend, not even in Orlando, you and Shannon have something real special), the guy she had been in love with for almost a year now, the guy she was still trying to get back together with, the one person who meant more to her than anything. While you were intoxicated by the romantic cruise (That I was supposed to go on), I spent the WHOLE week of Spring break getting advice from friends a family, and thinking of ways to get Dan back and how he and I could have fixed our relationship. You’re little crush for him was stronger than your friendship and loyalty to me. And who cares if you cried afterward? That just means your conscience kicked in TOO LATE. And don’t you dare tell me those tears were for my sake - you cried because you rightfully felt guilty for your wrong doing, but not for me. You weren’t crying because you knew how much you’d hurt me, if you had know how much you hurt me, you wouldn’t have continued being in his arms and in his room the rest of the cruise. Hell, you wouldn’t be dating him if you were a real friend. But I’d never ask you to do that, this was obviously MEANT to be for you two selfish jerks - go bond over rap music and your crooked morals.
So how about the fact that you not only felt the need to DOCUMENT yourself kissing him, but ALSO post it on Facebook? Do you know how hypocritical that is? You got mad at me for venting when I was having a nervous breakdown after hearing the worst news in my life - you said I was wrong for saying those things on LiveJournal where “everyone” could see it. Well, the only people I know of that read MY LiveJournal are my cousin, sister, and maybe Zach sometimes. YOU on the other hand, posted pictures of you kissing my ex boyfriend, you in his arms on Facebook. THAT is where everyone sees things, whether they want to or not because thumbnails show up on their News Feed. None of your friends saw my LJ post, but do you know how many of my friends and family members were hurt and or pissed off from those pictures? How could you be so inconsiderate? You’ve definitely hurt more people by posting the pics than I did with my one LJ post.
“But Christie you like LOTs of guys, why’d you have to kiss Dan? You flirt with that guy you work with, you have a crush on that guy who regularly goes to the club you work in, you have a thing for Peter in Gainesville, and when Will’s cousin was down, we all thought had been down longer, you would have hooked up with him.”
“Will’s cousin and I just have things in common. I’ve always been flirtatious, lots of girls on high school used to hate me for it. But I’m always going to be perceived that way and I don’t feel the need to change myself. I’m going to stay in high school forever”
...First of all, good luck with that whole ‘staying in high school’ thing. Second of all…if so many people see you that way…shouldn’t that tell you something? That you ARE a big flirt? Do know another way of looking at that? Flirting excessively with boys? Being a tease or leading them on. See, another way to look at it is: well my friends know who I really am, and they know I’m not a big flirt. Well….I was your friend…and now I know you’re just a flirt. Being your friend, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt “Oh Christie IS just naturally flirtatious…” ….but still, what does that mean? What does it mean to be naturally flirtatious? That you’ll flirt with guys on a regular basis and it won’t mean anything to you? And that’s ok?
Well, I think that was kind of a lot to swallow at once….but….this crap has been on my mind for too long.
Shift in subject - I’m kind of sorry to go here, but this also still hurts me everyday:
“I’m always here for you, but don’t be offended if I don’t call - I’m going to be really busy this month”
…..seriously? Is that how it works? You’re my friend when it’s convenient for you? You couldn’t make time for me when you lived 10 minutes away? You sure had time to hang out with Christie and Dan in that time… But how dare you say that when my friends from home, who don’t have a dime to their name, drove 3 hours to be there for me? They had classes and jobs and lives back home, but they were there for me when I needed them the most. And when Dan first broke up with me and you were “giving me my space” …please. You guys should’ve offered your friendship off the back and had I asked for space, then you could have given it.
And how bout “We’re not going to take sides..”
…uhmm….. If Will continued being best friends with Dan, and you were best friends with Christie….and all they got were slaps on the wrist from you guys…AND I never saw you guys besides going to Target the last week of school….I think that’s choosing a side. When you hang out with THEM and think “oh, Kellie can’t come out with us because we’re hanging out with them..” it should have been “If Dan and Christie hadn’t been idiots, they could be hanging out with Us” And you said in your defense that you weren’t spending one-on-one time with Alison, or maybe even Christie, BUT THEY HADN’T JUST HAD A NERVOUS BREAK DOWN. When I’m coming to you saying that I wish you’d spend more time with me because I’m hurting so bad, I’m asking for you to put that extra effort in, which may include one-on-one time. AND by continuing to be their best friends…you’re accepting what they did. And fine, they were both single and kissed on a cruise, but can’t you agree that they’re not so great friends if they both hurt me so badly? Look at your best friends now - they really screwed me over and ruined our friendships, you’ve lost some strong ties with me because of them, and I guess that doesn’t hurt you too badly, but I definitely lost all four of you as my main group of friends all because of those two.
I'm sorry that this is all coming out in bulk, but this has been hurting me everyday. I'm 180 miles away and every pain of Orlando is with me wherever I go. Even good memories seem tainted by these thoughts and make me not want to go back to Orlando. I would however, like to acknowledge Shannon and Will's more recent attempts at rebuilding our friendship by coming over to say 'bye' to me before I left and by checking up with me on Facebook (Thanks, sincerely). And as for Christie...you've hurt me the most out of the 3 and as of yet , I still can't forgive you enough to overlook the same things I overlooked before to be your friend. I can't bring myself to put effort into rebuilding our friendship, when apparently the value of being one of your good friends can be demolished by a stupid crush. So I guess time heals everything, supposedly, and I hope to get past these things because they ARE making me bitter and I honestly hate myself for having such harsh thoughts and resent after 3 months. But if I'm still hurting after 3 months, it was a pretty deep blow -- and you all know that I have never been into dramatics, I've never been the person who throws situations out of proportion (I know I've flipped out a few times AFTER the news, but I mean before even the break-up, when things were "normal"). I just think all of this could have and should have been dealt with differently, and I think that if Christie wanted to date Dan, she should have told me about her on-going crush on a bit sooner, so I could have maybe braced myself. Yes, maybe I still would've resented her and would have still hated to see them together, but I think that the more "friendly" way is being honest up front and from the beginning, and not out of being desperate to spill your guilty conscience on me.