What I did at work today...
"Beef Stew"
"Jumpin' Candesticks!" he exclaimed, refraining from using harsher language on account of his aunt's southern manners. "If I'd just a brought my toolkit I coulda prevented this!".
"Oh don't you worry now Casper, I'll call a repairman and he'll be here in a jiffy" said Aunt Rose.
"It's just...ah nevermind"
"What is it Casper?"
"Well, I just never feel like I do anything useful. People all over's got problems and I wanna be able to lend a hand when they needs it, but everytime I try something goes wrong. It ain't fair."
Outside a storm begins to brew. Hay is thrown about in the wind. A shrill scream pierces the air.
"Helllllp! Someone please help me!"
Aunt Rose's eyes open wide in surprise as Casper grabs the shotgun leaning on the cabin wall and runs outside into the rain.
"l'll be back, don't you worry now."
"You be careful out there."
Outside now, running through the wind and the rain, with his wide-brimmed hat pulled low over his brow, Casper is running as fast has he can towards the continuing screams. Then he hears a bark followed by a bellowing roar. "Shit" he curses to himself. As he nears a clearing he slips and falls in the mud, and as he tries to stand back up he accidentally fires the shotgun. The resounding blast of the gun echoes through the hills, and for a moment the chaos around him seems to go silent. But then as soon as time catches up again things seem to go in fast motion. Before he can completely recover he hears a growl behind him, and looks up to see the largest brown grizzly bear he'd ever seen.
Now Casper did a lot of hunting in his younger days, and saw his fair share of grizzlies. But this monster was the biggest, baddest mother of them all. And she was mad. Steaming mad. Casper slowly lifted the shotgun to take aim. He didn't want to kill the bear, but he sure enough didn't want to die out here in the mud, especially before he could save whomever's voice he heard screaming. Unfortunately, Casper didn't get a chance to defend himself, for the bear had swung and knocked the gun from his hands. He froze, scared to death at the sight of the towering bear that stood on two feet before him, roaring with all of her might. He closed his eyes, "Jesus" he said, "Please don't let me die, not now."
Just then, out of nowhere a big hounddog jumped in front of the grizzly, it's teeth clenched and growling.
"Leave him alone!" he barked in animal language. "He's done nothing to you!"
"He made a loud noise that frightened my cubs."
"Can't you see he is helpless now though? Let him go."
The bear dropped on to all fours and harumphed back into the woods. Casper stood up in disbelief. The hounddog nuzzled him on his leg. "Bark" he said. "Bark bark."
"What's that boy? Thanks for savin' me."
"Bark", said the dog, and then he trotted off in the opposite direction while looking back at Casper as if urging him to follow.
Casper cautiously followed the dog out of the muddy clearing. Then he heard the scream again. He started moving faster. He looked down at the ground as he ran, and noticed footprints in the mud. Oddly, the footprints seemed to be heading back the other way, towards the clearing. Slightly confused he continued following the dog who was nearly out of his range of sight. In the distance he could see smoke from a chimney and dim lights. Now disarmed, Casper was frightened to continue. It was like fixing a leaky faucet without your toolkit. But he sucked in a deep breath and pused his way through the branches in sheer determination. He saw the cabin. It was his Aunt's cabin. He had gone the wrong way he thought. How could this be? Now I'll never get to the screaming in time. Then he heard it again. The scream. It was coming from his Aunt's house.
"Bark", said the dog as he pointed his head towards the cabin. Casper could smell the acrid scent of roasting pine needles and something else that he couldnt quite place. He cautiously approched the door and opened it with shaking hands. He gasped in shock.
"I knew you would come" said his Aunt. Only now she didn't look the same as before. She was disfigured, with yellow skin and red eyes. She was stirring a large, steaming cauldron. Casper looked around and saw red stains on the floor around the cauldron. There were limbs in a bucket, arms and legs. Casper was discusted, he felt as he would be sick. This couldn't be happening he thought to himself. He was just here ten minutes ago!
"Aunt Rose! What's going on?!"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm preparing a spell. I'm going to turn you into the man you have always desired to be. You will have super natural strength. Nothing will be able to hurt you. You will be invincible!"
"But, Aunt Rose, why is there blood, and and arms!?"
"Mere components for the spell, my boy, you need not worry. They were from a girl who nobody will be missing. She didn't have an education or a family..."
"NO! You couldn't have," he cut her off, "Not little Kylie, the orphan. I... I... I loved her!"
"Fool! You are better than her. When the spell is complete you will be able to have any young lady you desire!"
"You need to stop this, I will not let you finish!" He lunged at her with his hands, aiming for her neck, but she lifted a single finger and struck him to the floor with a bolt of lightning.
"Fine, if I can't cast it on you then there is only one person left here to cast it on. ME! HA HA HA HA!"
Casper watched in utter horror as his aunt transformed into a beast of a woman. Bulging muscles tore through her old dress and she rose to a height unnatural. With blood in her eyes she sprung at Casper with her sharp fingernails outstretched. Just then a deafening growl boomed through the small cabin and standing in the large doorway outlined by the continual lightning outside. The grizzly smashed it's way into the cabin and swatted the woman to the ground. Casper decided that even though this monster was his Aunt he couldn't let her live for what she had done. He lifted a pitchfork that was on the floor next to him and stabbed it through her chest. The monster shriveled into the form of his old aunt and lie dead. "Invincible my ass," said Casper.
After doing a quick search through the rest of the cabin for anybody else who might be held captive, Casper decided there was nothing left here for him. So he walked out the door and back into the woods. The storm had cleared and the land was mostly visible from the light of the moon. He came to the clearing where he first met the bear and continued on through the other side. The hounddog was trotting along beside him, grinning. Up ahead Casper saw dim lights and smoke from a chimney. "Oh no, not again," he thought. Groaning, he walked up the familiar cabin. He smelled cooking meat. Opening the door, expecting to see blood and limbs, Casper held his hand in front of his eyes.
"Oh hello dear" said his Aunt Rose. Only this time she was back to her normal self, and still quite alive. "I thought you'd never return. I was worried sick."
"But Aunt Rose," he stammered. "How could you be...I thought I just...you're not really a witch?"
"Oh you must be thinking of my twin sister Venus. She was locked away years ago."
"I think she escaped, I ...had a run in with her on the other side of the woods. What is that smell?"
"Oh I'm just cooking some stew."
"Sounds delicious, I'm starved! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
And Casper, Aunt Rose, and the hounddog all had a delicous bowl of stew.
The End.
"Jumpin' Candesticks!" he exclaimed, refraining from using harsher language on account of his aunt's southern manners. "If I'd just a brought my toolkit I coulda prevented this!".
"Oh don't you worry now Casper, I'll call a repairman and he'll be here in a jiffy" said Aunt Rose.
"It's just...ah nevermind"
"What is it Casper?"
"Well, I just never feel like I do anything useful. People all over's got problems and I wanna be able to lend a hand when they needs it, but everytime I try something goes wrong. It ain't fair."
Outside a storm begins to brew. Hay is thrown about in the wind. A shrill scream pierces the air.
"Helllllp! Someone please help me!"
Aunt Rose's eyes open wide in surprise as Casper grabs the shotgun leaning on the cabin wall and runs outside into the rain.
"l'll be back, don't you worry now."
"You be careful out there."
Outside now, running through the wind and the rain, with his wide-brimmed hat pulled low over his brow, Casper is running as fast has he can towards the continuing screams. Then he hears a bark followed by a bellowing roar. "Shit" he curses to himself. As he nears a clearing he slips and falls in the mud, and as he tries to stand back up he accidentally fires the shotgun. The resounding blast of the gun echoes through the hills, and for a moment the chaos around him seems to go silent. But then as soon as time catches up again things seem to go in fast motion. Before he can completely recover he hears a growl behind him, and looks up to see the largest brown grizzly bear he'd ever seen.
Now Casper did a lot of hunting in his younger days, and saw his fair share of grizzlies. But this monster was the biggest, baddest mother of them all. And she was mad. Steaming mad. Casper slowly lifted the shotgun to take aim. He didn't want to kill the bear, but he sure enough didn't want to die out here in the mud, especially before he could save whomever's voice he heard screaming. Unfortunately, Casper didn't get a chance to defend himself, for the bear had swung and knocked the gun from his hands. He froze, scared to death at the sight of the towering bear that stood on two feet before him, roaring with all of her might. He closed his eyes, "Jesus" he said, "Please don't let me die, not now."
Just then, out of nowhere a big hounddog jumped in front of the grizzly, it's teeth clenched and growling.
"Leave him alone!" he barked in animal language. "He's done nothing to you!"
"He made a loud noise that frightened my cubs."
"Can't you see he is helpless now though? Let him go."
The bear dropped on to all fours and harumphed back into the woods. Casper stood up in disbelief. The hounddog nuzzled him on his leg. "Bark" he said. "Bark bark."
"What's that boy? Thanks for savin' me."
"Bark", said the dog, and then he trotted off in the opposite direction while looking back at Casper as if urging him to follow.
Casper cautiously followed the dog out of the muddy clearing. Then he heard the scream again. He started moving faster. He looked down at the ground as he ran, and noticed footprints in the mud. Oddly, the footprints seemed to be heading back the other way, towards the clearing. Slightly confused he continued following the dog who was nearly out of his range of sight. In the distance he could see smoke from a chimney and dim lights. Now disarmed, Casper was frightened to continue. It was like fixing a leaky faucet without your toolkit. But he sucked in a deep breath and pused his way through the branches in sheer determination. He saw the cabin. It was his Aunt's cabin. He had gone the wrong way he thought. How could this be? Now I'll never get to the screaming in time. Then he heard it again. The scream. It was coming from his Aunt's house.
"Bark", said the dog as he pointed his head towards the cabin. Casper could smell the acrid scent of roasting pine needles and something else that he couldnt quite place. He cautiously approched the door and opened it with shaking hands. He gasped in shock.
"I knew you would come" said his Aunt. Only now she didn't look the same as before. She was disfigured, with yellow skin and red eyes. She was stirring a large, steaming cauldron. Casper looked around and saw red stains on the floor around the cauldron. There were limbs in a bucket, arms and legs. Casper was discusted, he felt as he would be sick. This couldn't be happening he thought to himself. He was just here ten minutes ago!
"Aunt Rose! What's going on?!"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm preparing a spell. I'm going to turn you into the man you have always desired to be. You will have super natural strength. Nothing will be able to hurt you. You will be invincible!"
"But, Aunt Rose, why is there blood, and and arms!?"
"Mere components for the spell, my boy, you need not worry. They were from a girl who nobody will be missing. She didn't have an education or a family..."
"NO! You couldn't have," he cut her off, "Not little Kylie, the orphan. I... I... I loved her!"
"Fool! You are better than her. When the spell is complete you will be able to have any young lady you desire!"
"You need to stop this, I will not let you finish!" He lunged at her with his hands, aiming for her neck, but she lifted a single finger and struck him to the floor with a bolt of lightning.
"Fine, if I can't cast it on you then there is only one person left here to cast it on. ME! HA HA HA HA!"
Casper watched in utter horror as his aunt transformed into a beast of a woman. Bulging muscles tore through her old dress and she rose to a height unnatural. With blood in her eyes she sprung at Casper with her sharp fingernails outstretched. Just then a deafening growl boomed through the small cabin and standing in the large doorway outlined by the continual lightning outside. The grizzly smashed it's way into the cabin and swatted the woman to the ground. Casper decided that even though this monster was his Aunt he couldn't let her live for what she had done. He lifted a pitchfork that was on the floor next to him and stabbed it through her chest. The monster shriveled into the form of his old aunt and lie dead. "Invincible my ass," said Casper.
After doing a quick search through the rest of the cabin for anybody else who might be held captive, Casper decided there was nothing left here for him. So he walked out the door and back into the woods. The storm had cleared and the land was mostly visible from the light of the moon. He came to the clearing where he first met the bear and continued on through the other side. The hounddog was trotting along beside him, grinning. Up ahead Casper saw dim lights and smoke from a chimney. "Oh no, not again," he thought. Groaning, he walked up the familiar cabin. He smelled cooking meat. Opening the door, expecting to see blood and limbs, Casper held his hand in front of his eyes.
"Oh hello dear" said his Aunt Rose. Only this time she was back to her normal self, and still quite alive. "I thought you'd never return. I was worried sick."
"But Aunt Rose," he stammered. "How could you be...I thought I just...you're not really a witch?"
"Oh you must be thinking of my twin sister Venus. She was locked away years ago."
"I think she escaped, I ...had a run in with her on the other side of the woods. What is that smell?"
"Oh I'm just cooking some stew."
"Sounds delicious, I'm starved! HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
And Casper, Aunt Rose, and the hounddog all had a delicous bowl of stew.
The End.