my gi-normous steel balls

[phunbee]

Last night I went to the gym for the first time in awhile.  With all the kung fu classes, running and TRX I have not had a workout on my own like I used to in a long time.  It was going so well until Cell Phone Guy came up to me again.  Now Cell Phone guy is a middle aged douche whom uses his cell phone on the elliptical and in the locker rooms in violation of gym rules.  Not a huge deal but still considered rude by other gym users and against gym policy.  Later on he hit on me and it was awful.  I loathe when I'm hit on by middle aged "men" because it reminds me of my father hitting on women the same age that I am now when he was married to my mother.  Anyway low and behold whom shows up but Cell Phone Guy pulling his moves.  My protocol is to not give them the time of day and in most cases not to even look at them - which I did in this case.  What does CPG do?  He grabbed a 25 poun disc and places it on the bench press that I am using.  Then he grabs another 25 pound disc and demands that I get off the bench press so he could use it.  Keep in mind there are $ different bench presses besides the one I am using.  I tell him this and he says that he wants to use the one I'm on.  I say you can wait or use another one.  Then he starts in, beginning with a loud, "FUCK IT!"  Much like Bill O'Reilly he starts in on me, yelling and swearing, calling me kid and being an absolute dick.  I'm trying not to laugh as I keep refusing to leave the machine.  I watch his face get redder and redder.  I tell him leave me alone or the management can help him.  He leaves and goes to change.  I finish what I was doing and then ask to speak to the manager Chancey (a friend of mine and a phenomenal trainer) and as she is busy I say I'll wait and go to change.  Whom should come back up the stairs from the locker rooms but CPG.  He asked to talk to me and I refuse.  I have nothing to say to him and say I'm not afraid of him.  He starts swearing again and says I have a shitty attitude.  I say likewise and that he must know a lot about it.  He gets even angrier and begins yelling at me as I walk downstairs to the women's locker room.  I cannot hear what he is saying but I can hear the echo of his voice.  I then hear the receptionist page Chancey and I'm sure he is waiting to talk with her.  Too bad old man I'm first.  Oh that's the other great thing.  I called him an old man to his face and he was seathing.  It was hilarious!!  I come back up from the locker room to wait for Chancey and watch CPG stalk around the gym in persuit of Chancey - hoping to get to her first.  She is in another room with a client.  Unable to get a moment with her I watch CPG stalk out of the gym red as a tomato walking like an insane and enraged gorialla.  I waited for Chancey to come out of her meeting and we spoke for a bit.  Being the consumate professional she is Chancey agreed that there was no reason to try to boot me off a machine or swear at me and cause a scene in front of other patrons.  Furthermore he apparently has been a real problem for the gym by hitting on women and not respecting the rules.  He will be dealt with on Monday when he comes back in (he usually takes weekends off).  I am thinking he will be so mad he might leave the gym which I think is a great idea.  If not he can mess with me all he wants but I am SO not afraid of geezers like this guy.

The real kickeer in all this is that I feel so unafraid.  Someone messes with me I'm not afraid to tell them to suck it.  Someone tries to put me down I'm not afraid to put them in their place.  Someone hurts me I'm not afraid to defend what's mine.  It's a new and exciting feeling - like I'm enlightened or something.  While there is something to be said for choosing one's battles there is nothing like having a gi-normous pair of steel balls between one's legs.  Good times.