About Gin and Ian...
I miss them. Terribly. And every time I think about them I feel like there's this horrible growing emptiness inside me that I can never fix. I try to put on the attitude of "well, if that's how they're gonna be, then oh well", but it's so much harder than that. They really are amazing people, and I miss them so much. We were so close. We'd been through a lot together. They were among the top 3 of best friends I'd ever had, or thought I ever would have. They've been there for me when I needed someone most, and I knew they knew I'd always do the same. I was there for Ginnie when Ian moved and she needed people. I'd offered so many times to come keep her company because I knew how hard it was for her. I was so glad when they moved because I knew things would get better for them, even though I missed them more than anything. When I found out they were leaving, I tried to keep it in and look happy for them, but I went home and bawled my eyes out, knowing I was potentially losing the best of friends.
Jeff bought Katamari Damacy, and I'm completely obsessed with it. But it hurts a lot to play it because it reminds me so much of the good ol' days of our friendship. All those conversations I had with them about life and everything else under the stars, I'll always remember, and I'll always cherish the times we spent together. But knowing I'll never again tell them how much they mean to me, never hug them, never laugh with them, never let them cry on my shoulder, never spoil Rain and Juliet with Japanese snacks, never just sit and talk with them... And now, here they are, coming back to Utah for a visit, and I still can't even so much as say a passing 'Hello'. It feels like too much to deal with. I don't understand how something that meant so much to me means so little to them. I don't understand how it call all be thrown away so easily. How it can all just disappear. I really thought I could confide in her this time the way I had so many other times.
But I suppose this is what I get for trusting people.
Jeff bought Katamari Damacy, and I'm completely obsessed with it. But it hurts a lot to play it because it reminds me so much of the good ol' days of our friendship. All those conversations I had with them about life and everything else under the stars, I'll always remember, and I'll always cherish the times we spent together. But knowing I'll never again tell them how much they mean to me, never hug them, never laugh with them, never let them cry on my shoulder, never spoil Rain and Juliet with Japanese snacks, never just sit and talk with them... And now, here they are, coming back to Utah for a visit, and I still can't even so much as say a passing 'Hello'. It feels like too much to deal with. I don't understand how something that meant so much to me means so little to them. I don't understand how it call all be thrown away so easily. How it can all just disappear. I really thought I could confide in her this time the way I had so many other times.
But I suppose this is what I get for trusting people.