On The Eve Of My Return Home
Went to the psychiatrist Tuesday. He gave me a month's supply of Lexapro and off I went. I took one immediately, to get the ball rolling. I'm hopeful that it will help; we'll see.
Too much on my mind to go into at the moment; lot of longing, regret, sadness, confusion, the works. No one reads this thing anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. The point isn't so much to put my life and thoughts on display for others, but mostly just to keep a log, a textual photograph of all the pivotal moments and moods I find worth expressing. I have no idea where my life's going at the moment, but I plan on finding out in the new year. I head down to Orange Park in about a week or so to meet Micah and his brother to sketch out some musical ideas and see what we can build from there. I always wanted to be a musician, and I figure I never put forth much of an effort, so here's that effort. I'm going to look into taking the GED test in January, so I can get that out of the way. Beyond that, I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. The confidence and enthusiasm of others is nauseating, but maybe my attitude will change when the medication takes full effect. I wonder if I'm capable of seeing the world through a brighter perspective. My demeanor is only lifted when I create something that surprises and earns the respect of my harshest critic, and when I'm in love with someone. If all goes well with these guys in Orange Park, I'm going to dive right in and just put everything I have into it, even if the music isn't good at first, I'll work on it until it's satisfactory. Potential band names thus far? I only have two: The Ellipsis (which is by far the favorite) and An Antonym For Optimism (the journal's header). I have eight or nine song fragments to augment and reshape, and after hearing Micah play the piano, I'm sure the two of us can get them all sorted out.
Tomorrow I head up to Macon, so I'll be gone for a few days.
-Roe
Too much on my mind to go into at the moment; lot of longing, regret, sadness, confusion, the works. No one reads this thing anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. The point isn't so much to put my life and thoughts on display for others, but mostly just to keep a log, a textual photograph of all the pivotal moments and moods I find worth expressing. I have no idea where my life's going at the moment, but I plan on finding out in the new year. I head down to Orange Park in about a week or so to meet Micah and his brother to sketch out some musical ideas and see what we can build from there. I always wanted to be a musician, and I figure I never put forth much of an effort, so here's that effort. I'm going to look into taking the GED test in January, so I can get that out of the way. Beyond that, I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. The confidence and enthusiasm of others is nauseating, but maybe my attitude will change when the medication takes full effect. I wonder if I'm capable of seeing the world through a brighter perspective. My demeanor is only lifted when I create something that surprises and earns the respect of my harshest critic, and when I'm in love with someone. If all goes well with these guys in Orange Park, I'm going to dive right in and just put everything I have into it, even if the music isn't good at first, I'll work on it until it's satisfactory. Potential band names thus far? I only have two: The Ellipsis (which is by far the favorite) and An Antonym For Optimism (the journal's header). I have eight or nine song fragments to augment and reshape, and after hearing Micah play the piano, I'm sure the two of us can get them all sorted out.
Tomorrow I head up to Macon, so I'll be gone for a few days.
-Roe