Another dying year, a new life, and a new set of obstacles to destroy
What's the sound of one hand clapping? if a tree falls in the forest with no one to bare witness, does it make a sound? if someone held a chicken at gun point and gave a vegan the option of either eating a mcnugget meal or watching the chicken die, would the vegan eat the nuggets to save the chicken? what's more pathetic: a waste of human life with delusions of grandeur or the one who aspires to be the waste of human life with delusions of grandeur?
The preceding list of questions are intended to make us think, but it's the final conundrum on that list that I'm more concerned with. For a while now, the gears in my head have been grinding away at the issue; searching for an explanation as to how I came to know the likes of Laura 'Pit Stain' Triplett and Teya Hypochondria-Kastrinos; though anyone who knows them will tell you that the answer, like most riddles, is surprisingly simple. Truth be told, both women are equally as tragic and grotesque. To better understand why these two are such disgusting human beings, it's best to critique them and their flawed personalities individually, starting with good ol' Pit Stain:
Pit Stain is a tightly wound yet tangled mess of complexes incapable of sustaining a normal healthy relationship (be it romantically or Platonically). Her selfish, narcissistic nature, coupled with her compulsive need to be in control, will ultimately put off potential friends or lovers. She has problems with intimacy and must separate sex from emotional attachment to have either as painlessly as possible. This personality defect causes her to divide the men in her life into two categories. Category 1 is made up of the men she'll sleep with, but won't get attached to; and category 2 is solely comprised of the men she'll befriend and manipulate, duping them into thinking she'll sleep with them so they'll provide the material and emotional support she needs to maintain her counterfeit confidence. She won't normally sleep with anyone in category 2, although she might engage in some light physical affection to better tighten her grip on them. It is best to note that the two categories are sometimes interchangeable depending on certain variables and outside influences (lonliness, mood, intoxicants, etc.). When things go sour with men in either category, Pit Stain will claim "things got weird" and she'll severe all contact, moving on to the next poor sap who falls into her gravitational pull. Men in either category don't last long in Laura's life. Those that remain on the outside of either category are considered inconsequential acquaintances; and lose all value to Laura when she's done drilling them dry of trite favors.
At the center of Pit Stain's spotted psyche, broods a lonely and vulnerable little girl. To keep from exposing her weak spot, Pit Stain overcompensates for her lack of security and identity by exhibiting an over-the-top, almost cartooney array of self-imposed confidence; a sad display that deters anyone with even the lightest grasp of common sense and/or reality. With Pit Stain's personal demons holing up inside her head, she uses obnoxiously loud music like funker-fucking-vogt to drive them out ala Waco, before she finally decides to drown them altogether with hard liquor and girly drinks; most of which are paid for by the men in category 2. Her love and affection are almost always shortlived. If my station as a friend-turned-enemy isn't proof enough, then let's use her extensive zoo as an example. Spiders, snakes, cats, newts, and frogs round out the menagerie of living creatures in our apartment. When her interest with one animal dwindles, she moves on to another. This behavior is most often associated with young adults who led spoiled and privledged childhoods, which I'm most certain is an accurate description of her upbringing.
When a situation spirals out of her control or someone undermines/threatens her authority, Pit Stain will desparately assert herself to remain in charge. If defeated, she'll cut her losses and run. She'll set up shop somewhere else until she can lay the foundation for her social ladder system. She's led a sad life and the future isn't looking much better for ol' Pit Stain. My prediction is that she'll end up being a bank teller. Her only friends will be her co-workers, and more than likely, she'll be the one to get drunk and fuck the boss at a Christmas party. By then, I could see her animal collection increasing to an almost illegal amount; rivaling that of an actual zoo. She does everything she can online, because she can't handle the idea of a universe she's not the center of.
Now onto our other lost soul, Mrs. Kastrinos. I proposed the question earlier as to what's more sad, the human waste or the one who aspires to be waste? Mrs. Kastrinos is that garbage dump hopeful. Her childhood was rocky and plagued with mental abuse and parental neglect. Her body proved to be very problematic and thus, she was subjected to an array of medical tests and procedures at an early age; the kind that could easily traumatize a child. With early diagnostics, doctor's theories, and a slew of painful hospital stays burnt into her memory, it's no surprise that Teya has become a hypochondriac. When Teya learned about a dysfunction called Celiac disease (the body's inability to process gluten) she jumped at the opportunity to pin all her ailments and unhappiness on this dreaded condition. She switched to the diet immediately, without a doctor's approval or diagnosis. After a mere day without wheats and grains, she claimed she never felt better. Before the celiac disease, Teya thought she was allergic to vegetables. I recall one such instance when she ate asparagus, and was crawling around on the floor in crippling pain. However, with the realization that wheat is actually the culprit, she can healthily consume and digest vegetables that were previously thought to be deadly to her, and the wheats she could consume and still function with, are now the new vegetables. This inconsistency in her behavior is baffling and somewhat creepy. Her hypochondria isn't as innocent as it may seem. She uses past injuries and sicknesses as excuses for her slothlike behavior. I'll use our move to Harbor Cove as an example. Teya claimed she couldn't lift anything because of the "back injury" she sustained a few years ago in a car accident. She claims she suffers everyday, but was able to cartwheel into James' arms one night at the Day's Inn. Her pathetic life extends beyond the hypochondria and crosses over into other territories. Her troubled childhood has made her a desparate approval seeker. Like pit stain, Teya's open personality is an over-the-top attempt to win over the hearts of others. Sadly, it doesn't work and most people are put off by her impossibly bright (and dishonest) disposition. I've got some advice for you Teya, when you make your life an open book for the world to read, don't be so shocked and upset when you get a lot of bad reviews. You can't get a word in on a conversation with Teya. Her subconscious effort to one-up you is omnipresent in her every dialogue. If you had minor surgery, she's had major surgery; if you have diahrreha, she has dysentary; if you had a friend stay in the hospital, she had a grandmother die in the hospital; so on and so on. But the main and most depressing aspect of Teya's personality, is her love for Pit Stain. What I've gathered from Teya and Pit Stain's relationship is that Pit Stain is the kind of girl who belittled Teya in her childhood, even though Teya wanted to win over and befriend those kind of people. Honestly, Pit Stain would have made Teya's life hell had they known each other long ago. Pit Stain said once that she doesn't get along with other girls, because she views them as competition. Based on that, it's easy to figure out Laura's true feelings for Teya. She sees Teya as a lesser-inferior female, one that couldn't possibly rival her in any way. This is evidenced by the things her and her ex-boyfriend Eric would say about her when she wasn't around. Laura has openly declared that Teya isn't attractive or desirable, and would joke around with Brock and I about her hypochondria. Teya needs someone like Laura to latch onto and emulate; she sees in Pit Stain all the qualities she wishes she had in herself, and thus refuses to acknowledge the emotional pain Laura inflicts upon her. Whether Teya's complacency is conscious or not, the fact of the matter remains; Laura uses Teya to make herself look better by comparison. Teya is constantly buying gifts for Pit Stain to win over her full loyalty and devotion (I'd say Teya is probably the only female in Pit Stain's category 2, that I'm aware of anyhow). If all that wasn't enough to convince one of Laura's true feelings for Teya, then just take a look at Pit Stain's myspace. Laura is number one on Teya's top friends, yet Teya is number 3 on Laura's; right behind her cat (yes, pit stain made a profile for her cat), and a sixty-year old man she isn't related to.
Teya's overwhelming insecurity also manifests into her desire to marry and have children. I think she'll marry her current boyfriend; however, her insecurity will resurface at some point and she'll cheat on him with the next available man who convinces her she's attractive. Either way, Teya's future weighs heavily on whether or not her marriage lasts. If it does, then she'll live out the rest of her days as an inept housewife. If it doesn't, she'll wind up alone and eccentric, becoming another creepy cat lady. She is a sad and troubled individual who could benefit greatly from counseling, oh, and dropping Laura as a friend.
For the longest time, I stood idly by and observed Teya and Pit Stain's many misadventures. I kept my mouth shut for the sake of household civility, and never brought up their inconsideration or objectionable decisions. I made excuses for their behavior and tried to revel in the few qualities in them I found tolerable. Eventually, these two could wear down the patience of a buddhist monk, so I told both of them off the day we moved into the new apartment. The timing was bad, and in retrospect, signing that lease was a dumb idea.
As of now, Brock and I are doing what we can to save up and move out, thus finally ridding ourselves of that mournful duo.
The preceding list of questions are intended to make us think, but it's the final conundrum on that list that I'm more concerned with. For a while now, the gears in my head have been grinding away at the issue; searching for an explanation as to how I came to know the likes of Laura 'Pit Stain' Triplett and Teya Hypochondria-Kastrinos; though anyone who knows them will tell you that the answer, like most riddles, is surprisingly simple. Truth be told, both women are equally as tragic and grotesque. To better understand why these two are such disgusting human beings, it's best to critique them and their flawed personalities individually, starting with good ol' Pit Stain:
Pit Stain is a tightly wound yet tangled mess of complexes incapable of sustaining a normal healthy relationship (be it romantically or Platonically). Her selfish, narcissistic nature, coupled with her compulsive need to be in control, will ultimately put off potential friends or lovers. She has problems with intimacy and must separate sex from emotional attachment to have either as painlessly as possible. This personality defect causes her to divide the men in her life into two categories. Category 1 is made up of the men she'll sleep with, but won't get attached to; and category 2 is solely comprised of the men she'll befriend and manipulate, duping them into thinking she'll sleep with them so they'll provide the material and emotional support she needs to maintain her counterfeit confidence. She won't normally sleep with anyone in category 2, although she might engage in some light physical affection to better tighten her grip on them. It is best to note that the two categories are sometimes interchangeable depending on certain variables and outside influences (lonliness, mood, intoxicants, etc.). When things go sour with men in either category, Pit Stain will claim "things got weird" and she'll severe all contact, moving on to the next poor sap who falls into her gravitational pull. Men in either category don't last long in Laura's life. Those that remain on the outside of either category are considered inconsequential acquaintances; and lose all value to Laura when she's done drilling them dry of trite favors.
At the center of Pit Stain's spotted psyche, broods a lonely and vulnerable little girl. To keep from exposing her weak spot, Pit Stain overcompensates for her lack of security and identity by exhibiting an over-the-top, almost cartooney array of self-imposed confidence; a sad display that deters anyone with even the lightest grasp of common sense and/or reality. With Pit Stain's personal demons holing up inside her head, she uses obnoxiously loud music like funker-fucking-vogt to drive them out ala Waco, before she finally decides to drown them altogether with hard liquor and girly drinks; most of which are paid for by the men in category 2. Her love and affection are almost always shortlived. If my station as a friend-turned-enemy isn't proof enough, then let's use her extensive zoo as an example. Spiders, snakes, cats, newts, and frogs round out the menagerie of living creatures in our apartment. When her interest with one animal dwindles, she moves on to another. This behavior is most often associated with young adults who led spoiled and privledged childhoods, which I'm most certain is an accurate description of her upbringing.
When a situation spirals out of her control or someone undermines/threatens her authority, Pit Stain will desparately assert herself to remain in charge. If defeated, she'll cut her losses and run. She'll set up shop somewhere else until she can lay the foundation for her social ladder system. She's led a sad life and the future isn't looking much better for ol' Pit Stain. My prediction is that she'll end up being a bank teller. Her only friends will be her co-workers, and more than likely, she'll be the one to get drunk and fuck the boss at a Christmas party. By then, I could see her animal collection increasing to an almost illegal amount; rivaling that of an actual zoo. She does everything she can online, because she can't handle the idea of a universe she's not the center of.
Now onto our other lost soul, Mrs. Kastrinos. I proposed the question earlier as to what's more sad, the human waste or the one who aspires to be waste? Mrs. Kastrinos is that garbage dump hopeful. Her childhood was rocky and plagued with mental abuse and parental neglect. Her body proved to be very problematic and thus, she was subjected to an array of medical tests and procedures at an early age; the kind that could easily traumatize a child. With early diagnostics, doctor's theories, and a slew of painful hospital stays burnt into her memory, it's no surprise that Teya has become a hypochondriac. When Teya learned about a dysfunction called Celiac disease (the body's inability to process gluten) she jumped at the opportunity to pin all her ailments and unhappiness on this dreaded condition. She switched to the diet immediately, without a doctor's approval or diagnosis. After a mere day without wheats and grains, she claimed she never felt better. Before the celiac disease, Teya thought she was allergic to vegetables. I recall one such instance when she ate asparagus, and was crawling around on the floor in crippling pain. However, with the realization that wheat is actually the culprit, she can healthily consume and digest vegetables that were previously thought to be deadly to her, and the wheats she could consume and still function with, are now the new vegetables. This inconsistency in her behavior is baffling and somewhat creepy. Her hypochondria isn't as innocent as it may seem. She uses past injuries and sicknesses as excuses for her slothlike behavior. I'll use our move to Harbor Cove as an example. Teya claimed she couldn't lift anything because of the "back injury" she sustained a few years ago in a car accident. She claims she suffers everyday, but was able to cartwheel into James' arms one night at the Day's Inn. Her pathetic life extends beyond the hypochondria and crosses over into other territories. Her troubled childhood has made her a desparate approval seeker. Like pit stain, Teya's open personality is an over-the-top attempt to win over the hearts of others. Sadly, it doesn't work and most people are put off by her impossibly bright (and dishonest) disposition. I've got some advice for you Teya, when you make your life an open book for the world to read, don't be so shocked and upset when you get a lot of bad reviews. You can't get a word in on a conversation with Teya. Her subconscious effort to one-up you is omnipresent in her every dialogue. If you had minor surgery, she's had major surgery; if you have diahrreha, she has dysentary; if you had a friend stay in the hospital, she had a grandmother die in the hospital; so on and so on. But the main and most depressing aspect of Teya's personality, is her love for Pit Stain. What I've gathered from Teya and Pit Stain's relationship is that Pit Stain is the kind of girl who belittled Teya in her childhood, even though Teya wanted to win over and befriend those kind of people. Honestly, Pit Stain would have made Teya's life hell had they known each other long ago. Pit Stain said once that she doesn't get along with other girls, because she views them as competition. Based on that, it's easy to figure out Laura's true feelings for Teya. She sees Teya as a lesser-inferior female, one that couldn't possibly rival her in any way. This is evidenced by the things her and her ex-boyfriend Eric would say about her when she wasn't around. Laura has openly declared that Teya isn't attractive or desirable, and would joke around with Brock and I about her hypochondria. Teya needs someone like Laura to latch onto and emulate; she sees in Pit Stain all the qualities she wishes she had in herself, and thus refuses to acknowledge the emotional pain Laura inflicts upon her. Whether Teya's complacency is conscious or not, the fact of the matter remains; Laura uses Teya to make herself look better by comparison. Teya is constantly buying gifts for Pit Stain to win over her full loyalty and devotion (I'd say Teya is probably the only female in Pit Stain's category 2, that I'm aware of anyhow). If all that wasn't enough to convince one of Laura's true feelings for Teya, then just take a look at Pit Stain's myspace. Laura is number one on Teya's top friends, yet Teya is number 3 on Laura's; right behind her cat (yes, pit stain made a profile for her cat), and a sixty-year old man she isn't related to.
Teya's overwhelming insecurity also manifests into her desire to marry and have children. I think she'll marry her current boyfriend; however, her insecurity will resurface at some point and she'll cheat on him with the next available man who convinces her she's attractive. Either way, Teya's future weighs heavily on whether or not her marriage lasts. If it does, then she'll live out the rest of her days as an inept housewife. If it doesn't, she'll wind up alone and eccentric, becoming another creepy cat lady. She is a sad and troubled individual who could benefit greatly from counseling, oh, and dropping Laura as a friend.
For the longest time, I stood idly by and observed Teya and Pit Stain's many misadventures. I kept my mouth shut for the sake of household civility, and never brought up their inconsideration or objectionable decisions. I made excuses for their behavior and tried to revel in the few qualities in them I found tolerable. Eventually, these two could wear down the patience of a buddhist monk, so I told both of them off the day we moved into the new apartment. The timing was bad, and in retrospect, signing that lease was a dumb idea.
As of now, Brock and I are doing what we can to save up and move out, thus finally ridding ourselves of that mournful duo.