Faith and Fearlessness
I often wish I believed in god, or gods, or something. I just wish that I truly believed that there was some greater force... and I kind of do, but nothing solid enough to put faith into. Sometimes I feel like if I believed in god I could at least say, "Yes, this isn't much fun... but it's all part of something big and amazing that I know will be good, because there is god, and he/she will make it all ok." It's harder having to tell myself that if something is bad I better make the best of it, because only I can make it better. In that sense I am my own god... a painfully sad sentiment. Sometimes I just wish I believed, or had devout faith in something. Anything, really. I just wish I had enough faith in something to make me fearless, but for now I will just have to live with being scared.