to sleep, perhaps, to dream.

[photozenic]

I'm trying very hard to stay positive about things. I swear I am. On the surface, it certainly appears that things are going well. Maybe that's the problem- things are going well. In a lifetime of failure, hardship, and difficulties, things going right can sometimes feel very uncomfortable- like watching a storm roll in . There always just has to be something, apparently. I just want things to be simple. I want to relax. Unwind. Not feel on edge about something, not worry about something else. Even if I had someone to talk to about all this, I doubt that would really change things. The world, at it's core, does not change. People, at their core, do not change. This is how it is, this is who we are. Nothing I have, nothing I can achieve, nothing I can get, nothing I can do will change this.

Yet I still press on.

I still push.

I still fight.

This is our crucible.