Yep. I noticed a long time ago that comedians are funny, until I realized that they are really serious about the shit they are talking about. Once that realization happens, the laughter from the audience becomes ironic.
I've been a big tease my whole life. I got lots of practice with my sister, while we were growing up. I learned that there were two kinds of teasing. The kind that evokes laughter, and the kind that brings shame and anger.
I still am a tease, especially to my friends. They know I will give them shit about stupid stuff they do, while turning the whole situation into a big joke. A good example is Mr Moneybags and his gambling habit. Unlike his mom, who will strongly rebuke him, I will just start joking around about it, by quoting the guy in this video, emulating the Russian accent:
The big difference is that he hides his trips to the casinos from his mom, but will still tell us about it.
During the '90s, I used to give my oldest daughter shit about being in chat rooms. She was a teenager at the time. I used ask her if she was talking to her balding, hairy backed, boyfriend from Georgia. She used to get so pissed! But it worked.
Betty Boop used to have a angry aversion to certain types of foods. Peas and okra were two of them. So, instinctively, I started joking about making peas and okra into a smoothie. Over time, she learned to laugh at the two words.
With you, I would pick out the extreme fear of mayonnaise. Then start joking about women's mayonnaise wrestling competitions. Yes, I would! You might eventually get over the Mayophobia, especially if you were invited by some lovely (scantily clad) ladies into the ring. Maybe... Don't know for sure.
But there's a big difference between that kind of teasing, and the kind of teasing that is just plain mean and bully like. In other words, there's a method to my madness. Positive versus negative results.
Re: MayophobiaphotosexualMarch 9 2010, 17:20:48 UTC
Wrestling in mayo would gag a maggot on a shit wagon. Yikes!
See, if we play psychologist for a moment, the mere fact you want to tease me about my aversion to mayo illustrates the point. I don't like it, so you use that as the button to push - or the stick to poke me with. It doesn't get me over it, but, like in the above situations you describe, it conditions the receivers to either emit programmed laughter responses since they realize you expect it in return for your prodding (because if you get the response you want, you stop the tease...) or it allows the person being teased to become de-sensitized to the idea of being teased if they encounter it ad-nauseum... can we say "hello, Doormat!"? ;)
So if your positive teasing gets that result, the negative teasing is where you really do tell people what you want them to know, and then smile (or ";)" or "LOL!" online)and say "oh, I was just kidding!" only if it appeared to hurt them, like it was ok to say it... D'OH!
Either way, teasing is negative. At best, someone who has gotten past an event or feeling in their life that can laugh at themselves or humanity can sometimes just let teasing roll off their back, and that might be when it's ok in small doses, because you're both looking back at a time or place or thing and saying "y'know what? Wasn't that silly, now that you're not in the moment?" because sometimes the past is easier to laugh at - having evolved and learned from it or gotten past whatever was shameful, harmful, embarrassing, or otherwise negative.
I've been a big tease my whole life. I got lots of practice with my sister, while we were growing up. I learned that there were two kinds of teasing. The kind that evokes laughter, and the kind that brings shame and anger.
I still am a tease, especially to my friends. They know I will give them shit about stupid stuff they do, while turning the whole situation into a big joke. A good example is Mr Moneybags and his gambling habit. Unlike his mom, who will strongly rebuke him, I will just start joking around about it, by quoting the guy in this video, emulating the Russian accent:
The big difference is that he hides his trips to the casinos from his mom, but will still tell us about it.
During the '90s, I used to give my oldest daughter shit about being in chat rooms. She was a teenager at the time. I used ask her if she was talking to her balding, hairy backed, boyfriend from Georgia. She used to get so pissed! But it worked.
Betty Boop used to have a angry aversion to certain types of foods. Peas and okra were two of them. So, instinctively, I started joking about making peas and okra into a smoothie. Over time, she learned to laugh at the two words.
With you, I would pick out the extreme fear of mayonnaise. Then start joking about women's mayonnaise wrestling competitions. Yes, I would! You might eventually get over the Mayophobia, especially if you were invited by some lovely (scantily clad) ladies into the ring. Maybe... Don't know for sure.
But there's a big difference between that kind of teasing, and the kind of teasing that is just plain mean and bully like. In other words, there's a method to my madness. Positive versus negative results.
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See, if we play psychologist for a moment, the mere fact you want to tease me about my aversion to mayo illustrates the point. I don't like it, so you use that as the button to push - or the stick to poke me with. It doesn't get me over it, but, like in the above situations you describe, it conditions the receivers to either emit programmed laughter responses since they realize you expect it in return for your prodding (because if you get the response you want, you stop the tease...) or it allows the person being teased to become de-sensitized to the idea of being teased if they encounter it ad-nauseum... can we say "hello, Doormat!"? ;)
So if your positive teasing gets that result, the negative teasing is where you really do tell people what you want them to know, and then smile (or ";)" or "LOL!" online)and say "oh, I was just kidding!" only if it appeared to hurt them, like it was ok to say it... D'OH!
Either way, teasing is negative. At best, someone who has gotten past an event or feeling in their life that can laugh at themselves or humanity can sometimes just let teasing roll off their back, and that might be when it's ok in small doses, because you're both looking back at a time or place or thing and saying "y'know what? Wasn't that silly, now that you're not in the moment?" because sometimes the past is easier to laugh at - having evolved and learned from it or gotten past whatever was shameful, harmful, embarrassing, or otherwise negative.
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