what?

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why do i have to ruin everything? its always my fault. it truly is. my sister and my brother-n-law (her husband) have been fighting so much lately. 2 weeks ago i was spending the weekend with my sister and all they did was fight. i could hear them. i couldnt understand why they were fighting? it was beyond me. heres a little background to kris. (her husband) i dont have anything against kris but his father cheated on kris's mom. kris saw this growing up and learned from the ways that his father treated his mother. so the ways that kris saw his dad treat his mom wasnt the greatest way to learn. so back to the fight. i was watching tv and my sister and husband were fighting in the other room. i was watching the real world minding my own business when i started to hear yelling and crying. at that point i wanted to go home. i was scared. but i heard my name thrown into the fight? i was like huh? so guess what was the fight was about? it was about me. and someother things. i ran into there extra bedroom and jumped into the covers and just laied there and started to burst into tears. i could hear them fighting from the other room still. i tried to block that out of my bed but i couldnt. they continued to fight for about 3 hours. i could hear everything.....sada why do you fucking have to be like this? because shes my sister shes 14 shes a freshman.......fuck sada i cant take this. god damnit you have to be such a baby. ..........all i heard that night was crying and screaming.......i think kris left the house that night but i dont know i cried myself to sleep. anyways. so yesterday i was gonna go buy cds with john and i forgot to ask my mom and i called her later that day and asked if i could go buy cds with john i told her my sister sada said she would take me but then she got mad...etc.... grounded me and then my sister came and picked me up..from church because i was hanging out with betsy but yah i went to my sisters house. there was something wrong with her i could tell. i was just about to ask her what was wrong but then someone called her. it was kris. i heard a whole nother fight that day today. k so my sister was helping out kris at work that day. kris works at a stamped concrete place. and sada decided to help him out that day so kris was working in his office and this call was tranferred to his line and pushes the button for speaker phone and says hi this is kris...and this girl says hey its me....and kris is all ohh hi? uhmm lauren. shes all yah i havent heard from you in a long time is there something wrong? kris is all no ( through this whole thing my sister is sitting here listening to his conversation) k..yah kris is all no but im kinda busy right now shes all but you havent ordered from us in awhile hes all oh ive been busy shes all ok dont be a stranger and she hnags up. kris and sada start to fight about that. k soo today i had to go to the dentist and my mom and me stoped by my sisters house to say hi because my mom had a gift for my sister baby...laila. k so i went up to the door and rang the door bell. then my mom says you shouldnt have done that. i was like uhmm why shes like laila is probably alseep i was like uhmm kinda late to tell me know. so my sister comes to the door and she kinda looked half asleep and then she gets sooooo mad at me for ringing the door bell because she was trying to put laila asleep and trying to fall asleep herself. and then she gets mad at my mom. we leave and dont even go into her house. then on the way to the dentist my mom was saying how much she couldnt believe how my sister was being? she couldnt believe how she acted and like when we got into the parking lot i was about to get out of the car and like my mom said she probably is still mad about yesterday i said WHAT??? mom shes not mad about yesterday. you always say shes always mad at me but you dont even know whats going on in her life.....my moms like what? im like yah sada and kris have been fighting non-stop. im surprised that she wasnt told you. shes like no she hasnt told me i was like well then thats why she was being like she did. kris is thinking of leaving her. thats what i heard. i dont know if its true. but like my moms like i had no idea...so we talked about that in the car for probably 15 min etc. my mom didnt have a clue what was going on with sada and kris. i guess that proves how much my mom really does know. not that my mom wouldnt care but how much my sister tells her i guess? i dont know. i know that this whole situation isnt really about me but i think that i am the cause of most of it. they were fighting about me....i rang the doorbell.....etc. see it is my fault. i didnt write this for people to feel sorry for me or anything along those lines. but its just whats been on my mind since it happened like recently.

oh and then there boys. oh im not EVEN going to start with that one.

im done.