(no subject)
extensive naps and no employment lead to four a.m. adventures on the internet. until you realize it's not really an adventure because the only thing the internet is good for at this god awful time of the morning is siphoning your soul out of your unblinking eyeballs. by the time you realize your sanity is being snaked, the internet has got a death-grip on your brain and sleep (or shit, even leaving the chair) is impossible. well, it's that, or coming to terms with the fact that you're horribly addicted to the internet. of all things. me? never! besides, it's infinitely more promising than religious programming and infomercials.
but yeah, onto to(yester?)day's exciting news. ahem.
i've never done very well with the dreaded job interview. i have a tendency to come on way too strong, or not strong enough. my social retardedness keeps me from finding a reliable middle ground. this, of course, leads to a pre-interview night of no sleep and going over and over what you'll say if they even bother asking.
what a god damn perfectly good waste of sleep. driving record and my oh-so-extensive resume in hand, i show up 20 minutes early for my interview. tom asks me three questions and tells me i'm hired. and, of course, it's not the questions you spent six hours going over and over. no. it's the, "are you ever late for work? do you ever call in sick?" questions. after i got the, "YOU'RE HIRED! *cheesy ass-fuck grin*" confirmation, i looked at him crooked and asked if that was really what i lost all of that sleep over.
so yeah, i've got a new job. well maybe..there is that one little catch.
and shit, isn't there always when things seem too good to be true?
yes. the even more dreaded drug test. instead of completely embarassing myself i told the man straight-up that i wasn't going to pass that test. explained to him that i'm not an imbecile when it comes to doing drugs and i would never, under and circumstances, come to work on them. which is all fine and great, yadda yadda. they still need a urine sample. more importantly, a CLEAN urine sample.
so tom, the kind-hearted soul that he is, is giving me until monday. i smoked on tuesday. now granted, my system isn't completely saturated with THC like it would have been at one point in my illustrious teenage career, but five days is cutting it very, very close. this is going to take many prayers to every god the greeks, the romans and those disease-ridden africans ever invented. these gods are also known as gallons and gallons of water, cranberry juice, exercise and whatever fancy system-flushing chemical i decide to buy.
we'll see.
in other, much more humorous news, tate and i have called a truce. for the sake of civility i took his explainations at face value and am at least attempting to believe them. i apologized for things escalating like they did, explained (upwards of 12 times) that i don't go off the fucking handle unless provoked and that i'm at least semi-justified in my shit talking. i also spent a lot of time laughing at how much people COMPLETELY BLOW THINGS OUT OF PROPORTION, myself sometimes included. we raised our little white flags and called it good. but christ almighty do some people get VIOLENT over words. talking shit is one thing. threatening my life and attempting to leave my parents voicemails ("lol ur dawtur duz drugz lol i think u shuld git hur sum help") because of shit talking is just plain weird. alas, i can't be too mad about it, seeing as 588 is a lakewood number and well, i don't live in lakewood any longer. so rest assured, there will be no more OMG DRAMABOMBS impeding on social situations. this is me being very grateful that that bit of crap has been wiped off of my shoe.
it's my firm belief that more people should be awake at these hours. i could be pretending to enjoy their INVIGORATING conversation rather than spending an hour writing unnecessarily wordy journal entries.
but yeah, onto to(yester?)day's exciting news. ahem.
i've never done very well with the dreaded job interview. i have a tendency to come on way too strong, or not strong enough. my social retardedness keeps me from finding a reliable middle ground. this, of course, leads to a pre-interview night of no sleep and going over and over what you'll say if they even bother asking.
what a god damn perfectly good waste of sleep. driving record and my oh-so-extensive resume in hand, i show up 20 minutes early for my interview. tom asks me three questions and tells me i'm hired. and, of course, it's not the questions you spent six hours going over and over. no. it's the, "are you ever late for work? do you ever call in sick?" questions. after i got the, "YOU'RE HIRED! *cheesy ass-fuck grin*" confirmation, i looked at him crooked and asked if that was really what i lost all of that sleep over.
so yeah, i've got a new job. well maybe..there is that one little catch.
and shit, isn't there always when things seem too good to be true?
yes. the even more dreaded drug test. instead of completely embarassing myself i told the man straight-up that i wasn't going to pass that test. explained to him that i'm not an imbecile when it comes to doing drugs and i would never, under and circumstances, come to work on them. which is all fine and great, yadda yadda. they still need a urine sample. more importantly, a CLEAN urine sample.
so tom, the kind-hearted soul that he is, is giving me until monday. i smoked on tuesday. now granted, my system isn't completely saturated with THC like it would have been at one point in my illustrious teenage career, but five days is cutting it very, very close. this is going to take many prayers to every god the greeks, the romans and those disease-ridden africans ever invented. these gods are also known as gallons and gallons of water, cranberry juice, exercise and whatever fancy system-flushing chemical i decide to buy.
we'll see.
in other, much more humorous news, tate and i have called a truce. for the sake of civility i took his explainations at face value and am at least attempting to believe them. i apologized for things escalating like they did, explained (upwards of 12 times) that i don't go off the fucking handle unless provoked and that i'm at least semi-justified in my shit talking. i also spent a lot of time laughing at how much people COMPLETELY BLOW THINGS OUT OF PROPORTION, myself sometimes included. we raised our little white flags and called it good. but christ almighty do some people get VIOLENT over words. talking shit is one thing. threatening my life and attempting to leave my parents voicemails ("lol ur dawtur duz drugz lol i think u shuld git hur sum help") because of shit talking is just plain weird. alas, i can't be too mad about it, seeing as 588 is a lakewood number and well, i don't live in lakewood any longer. so rest assured, there will be no more OMG DRAMABOMBS impeding on social situations. this is me being very grateful that that bit of crap has been wiped off of my shoe.
it's my firm belief that more people should be awake at these hours. i could be pretending to enjoy their INVIGORATING conversation rather than spending an hour writing unnecessarily wordy journal entries.