first day of summer
maybe writing will help me be who i am again and who i felt comfortable being or just be the uncomfortable person i have grown to be.so many different things go through my head at one time,too much looking down,too much daydreaming not in the greatest sense either.i truly believe i have ADHD,trying to decide my next move but so pre-occupied with my thoughts that moving an inch takes all of me,which gives nothing to my friends.no one understands and that is where i stand alone and when i stand alone i become alone.it's an endless cycle of nonsense and this debacle has become unbearable.so unbearable i did the unthinkable.i quit 2 jobs.i need to get out of here.the possibility of throwing away 9 years of friendships in one weekend may be worth it but may dig me further down a hole i cannot climb or fight my way out of.it's what i yearn and what i seek.friendship,acceptance,all without the uncomfortability i have become and experience even by myself.it could and can be gone and i wonder if i have the guts to do what my conscious has been telling me to do but hiding for so long.won't i see in the end?i want this answer to be yes.