Is anyone still out there in Live Journal world?
Do you remember the glory days of Live Journal? I certainly do. Where has everyone gone? Is Molly the only one out there that has anything to say anymore? Is everyone really done with LJ? Too be honest though, I do kind of understand the trend.
The entries that are pointless and fun seem a little immature now that we've grown up a little. The entries that are personal and introspective are harder than ever to share. Jesus Christ are they hard to share these days. Thinking about writing one of them, putting it out there for everyone to see... is terrifying. I think at this point, we're all at the point where we've kind of aired out the dirty laundry we were willing to share and now all that's left are the really big, private fears and hopes and secrets. [[[[[EDIT: And yet I managed to write one of those terrifying entries anyway…]]]]]
I don't know how many times I've said it in this journal in the past year or so, but life gets more complicated every day. Growing up and seeing my parents, it seemed like there was just some switch that got flipped. You grow up and suddenly you've got yourself and your life figured out. You find a wife. You have a kid. You get a job. You have money. I honestly can't imagine how any of those are going to fall into place for me at this point. If there is a switch, I don’t know where to find it.
I suppose I need to just put all of those uncertainties out of my head. Take it one day at a time. Just enjoy the ride. That's a tall order when every day brings this picture a little more into focus. This picture of the world. Every day I realize a little more how complex this place is. How vast it is and how tiny a person's life is in comparison. How is a person supposed to just go about their business with something like that looming? That is no ordinary gorilla in the corner. No, that is King Fucking Kong sitting behind your stereo.
But I think that looming image of the world might be the key.
When we're really little, the world is wondrous. Everything is amazing. The novelty of the ordinary has yet to wear off. Now though... my God. Everyday I'm amazed at the things that I learn. The people I read about. The stories I'm told. The songs I hear. The emotions I learn to feel. The things that take a little thought and effort to really appreciate. All of these things are painting the picture of the world I see and each day brings it a little more into focus.
Maybe I shouldn't treat the world as this giant, intimidating question mark but instead it should be the goal. I mean, in the end when it really comes down to it you're the only one in your shoes. When it's all said and done, do the things that matter really matter? Aren't they all just a part of the grand scheme? Really the only thing that you've got to call your own is the sum total of your experiences. The image in your head of the world you've lived in. That picture of the world scarier than it sounded a paragraph ago but it also feels oddly comforting.
This has turned into a really deep one. I’m putting the kaibosh on it before I go to much further. Like a lot entries on here, I think it's more me working through an issue on paper than any real coherent collection of ideas. It probably reads like gibberish to anyone who isn't me. In any case, hopefully this inspires a few more people to get their journals working again.
The entries that are pointless and fun seem a little immature now that we've grown up a little. The entries that are personal and introspective are harder than ever to share. Jesus Christ are they hard to share these days. Thinking about writing one of them, putting it out there for everyone to see... is terrifying. I think at this point, we're all at the point where we've kind of aired out the dirty laundry we were willing to share and now all that's left are the really big, private fears and hopes and secrets. [[[[[EDIT: And yet I managed to write one of those terrifying entries anyway…]]]]]
I don't know how many times I've said it in this journal in the past year or so, but life gets more complicated every day. Growing up and seeing my parents, it seemed like there was just some switch that got flipped. You grow up and suddenly you've got yourself and your life figured out. You find a wife. You have a kid. You get a job. You have money. I honestly can't imagine how any of those are going to fall into place for me at this point. If there is a switch, I don’t know where to find it.
I suppose I need to just put all of those uncertainties out of my head. Take it one day at a time. Just enjoy the ride. That's a tall order when every day brings this picture a little more into focus. This picture of the world. Every day I realize a little more how complex this place is. How vast it is and how tiny a person's life is in comparison. How is a person supposed to just go about their business with something like that looming? That is no ordinary gorilla in the corner. No, that is King Fucking Kong sitting behind your stereo.
But I think that looming image of the world might be the key.
When we're really little, the world is wondrous. Everything is amazing. The novelty of the ordinary has yet to wear off. Now though... my God. Everyday I'm amazed at the things that I learn. The people I read about. The stories I'm told. The songs I hear. The emotions I learn to feel. The things that take a little thought and effort to really appreciate. All of these things are painting the picture of the world I see and each day brings it a little more into focus.
Maybe I shouldn't treat the world as this giant, intimidating question mark but instead it should be the goal. I mean, in the end when it really comes down to it you're the only one in your shoes. When it's all said and done, do the things that matter really matter? Aren't they all just a part of the grand scheme? Really the only thing that you've got to call your own is the sum total of your experiences. The image in your head of the world you've lived in. That picture of the world scarier than it sounded a paragraph ago but it also feels oddly comforting.
This has turned into a really deep one. I’m putting the kaibosh on it before I go to much further. Like a lot entries on here, I think it's more me working through an issue on paper than any real coherent collection of ideas. It probably reads like gibberish to anyone who isn't me. In any case, hopefully this inspires a few more people to get their journals working again.