Time
Apparently it has been 19 years since I created this account.
Everyone has their own bedroom now, and all our cats died, so I sleep alone now. We got another cat a little over a year back, sometimes it sits in my room a while, most times it sleeps in the livingroom.
I started building a simulated space ship cockpit for playing video games, but it is getting increasingly difficult to feel motivated enough to work on it, or play games.
A women who withholds her affections, knows not what harm she does to the one that loves her.
Yup ladies as it turns out holding a grudge so long you forget what it was actually for and take it for granted, and punish your man by withholding affection negatively impacts his health. Try not to hold grudges, and by all accounts you punish yourself when you do it. Really i read up on the topic. Dont do it. If you dont like the guy, leave him, let him find someone else, dont just hang around and punish him the rest of his likely shortened life.
I've also been dabbling with writing books, mostly trash. It seems I can easily get over 100 a4 pages in, but nothing I could publish. Motivation is a factor there.
My moods and motivation seems to relate directly to the amount and quality of sleep i get. Some times i fall into bed right after work and sleep some, half, or all the night, and wake up feeling like I have not slept at all, or wake from a dream so jarring, i am unnerved the rest of the day.
I did a test, which I seem to have misplaced, bang and something. Relates to the likelyhood of sleep apneoa. Apparently I rate dangerously high.
Probably explains my increasingly unreliable memory. If it is obstructive apnea, i've likely been giving myself brain damage for years. That aside lack of sleep degrades short term memory and the creation of long term memory.
My weight went into the 80's of kgs. Maybe even 90s. Near as I can tell i need to get down to about 70kg or so to reduce my body fat enough the fatty tissue in my throat drops enough I am actually going to have a decent chance at actually being able to breath in my sleep, instead of dying in it. Last i checked i was around 81kg, i still dont sleep well. My height (near 6foot) is technically healthy at 80kg but i have a fat gut i never had before, and between that and not sleeping, it has to go. It is literally a case of get rid of it or die trying, or dont get rid of it and die not trying. yikes.
Unfortunately thanks to our incompetent governments of the world, we are in the early stages of hyper-inflation. Keto and similar diets are not actually economically viable, and the other option, that of skipping meals is less than ideal, although it certainly saves a lot of money, it messes with the .. leptide or leptin levels.. I cannot recall the exact name. Basically it relates directly to weight. If you dont eat enough the levels drop. Forever. Low levels make your body try to force you to gain weight. Perminently. The optimal way to reduce weight is to eat more low energy food, and balance your calorie burn rate to your consumption level. That makes you full but you cannot actually gain weight from it. being stuck at work 6 days limits my exercise options to mowing laws or long walks on weekends.. as for diet.. not sure what to do there.
I've also noticed blood when i wipe, related I hope to a hemmeroid i had removed a few years ago that busts open sometimes. at least i hope it is, ive neither the time or money between working every waking hour to get medical checks. Am I worrying needlessly, or are literally fuc|
I've also persisted on my experiments from my teen years regarding age reversal, or at least slowing. If something evil is growing, the same treatment will kick its a$$. Cancer is in effect one of the defects caused by the damage of aging. I stop aging, my risk of cancer drops too.
Apparently science caught up with me somewhere around 2019, a professor david sinclair, completed some experiments on mice, and near as I can tell science is now actually in a position to actually stop aging. Relates to the expression of certain deactivated genes, and increasing NAD+ and resveratrol levels in your body. Prof Sinclair seems to downplay the value of anti oxidents, instead suggesting nutrient poor diets and physical stressing to force the body into a survival state.. although that in part seems to be personal agenda - i get the impression he is a vegan, the bad kind. It has become a cult; which means at least some of David's research must now sadly be considered suspect because of the influence. Humans never really did break the bad habit of letting dogma and science mingle.
But he is not entirely wrong. Those deactivated genes are turned on by stressing your body, hard exercise, fasting, super hot or super cold showers, that sort of thing. He just slyly pushes the vegan part too hard. Or using gene therapy.
They deliberately used gene therapy on a blind man with activated versions of the genes, and reportedly it restored his sight. So this shit works, just getting a lab to do it, and having the funds to pay for it not so practical.
The timelines here always seem to sit at about 6 months. Whatever age countermeasure treatment you use. Most troubling of all is one of the main causes of aging, dna/rna fragments is precisely what the main ingredient in pfizers cov-2/19 vaccine is.
A fact that all the KIDS, fully up to date with their 6 monthly shots randomly dying of heart attacks, strokes, and other maladies normally only associated with old age seems to be confirming. It takes 6 months to repair the damage they cause, and they make you take it every 6 months? cooincidence?
In my own experiments, a dosage of roughly 100 times normal each week of a range of assorted anti-oxidents halted my aging, visually at least, for about 10 years.. until i ran out of the suppliment i was using, and could not find an alternate. I looked like a teenager well into my late 20s, and still looked unusually young in my 30s although that trend has reversed now I no longer have a source of antioxidents. I also apparently had a high (or at least healthy individual) sperm count, bucking the global trend there, since we deliberately tried to have kid only two times back in the day, and immediately ended up with two babies.. which after discussions with other parents is apparently unusual.
So also it seems the hypothesis that the rare species of bats that lives 10 to 30 times as long as every other species - whos only physical difference was their body naturally created absurdly high levels of anti oxidents - lives that long BECAUSE of the anti-oxidents seems in part at least to be correct.
I've switched to NAD/resveratrol suppliments as identified in David Sinclairs study.
In essense it is nicatinamide (NMN) or vitamind B3, and the ani oxidents in red wine (resveratrol)
I tried to reproduce my super-dose experminent using resveratrol, but it seems to cause joint pain or stiffness. In lower doses along with NMN based NAD suppliments it has accellerated the rate in which i heal, and my face has began creating oil like it did when i was a teenager again.. with the annoying acne that comes with it.
Thus far it has not prevented pigment loss in some of my hair, which is not a good sign, presumably that is senscient cell related, which means i still have too many dud cells.
I also seem to be able to recover muscle endurance where existing muscle already exists quite rapidly, but that always seemed the case to an extent, so I cannot confirm Professor Sinclairs results in that regard as I am only an ameteur in that regard - and cannot do biopsys or scans or blood tests on myself. No obvious changes to the rate in which i can GAIN new muscle however, but i've not really tried that much beyond a few exercises at bedtime. Presumabkly the primary side effect of NAD is increased blood vessel health and quantity, which may explain my leg endurance.