*sigh*
I'm feeling kind of depressed today. Not sure what's up with that... could be the fact that I started my cycle a week early, it shouldn't start till tomorrow, and it doesn't seem to have any intention of letting up. This is the 2nd month in a row that this has happened and I havent' the faintest idea why. Not sure, but it's damn irritating.
Yeah, sorry... probably more info than you wanted.
Seems like every spring/summer time, my body does this though. This will be the third year in a row that I've had issues like this, this time of year. What could this mean, y'think?
And I'm sad that I bought this really freakin' awesome outfit to wear today and It's to god damn big. So I don't have to wear what I was gonna wear, and it was really cute and it makes me mad. Especially since I got it from work and they no longer even have a size that's smaller and I'm totally SOL.
The other thing... is that I'm missing my sister's performance today. I missed it yestserday, and I missed another one she did last week. I feel like a really bad sister. She's amazing and I haven't seen her. I really feel aweful about it. I can't go tonight because I already tripple booked myself as it is, and it's gonna work thank goodness, but only because I made that suggestion to Tiffany to go see Romeo and Juliet AND have her barbque.
Oh and I decided that if I could go to her performance today, I'd go no matter what, but it's reservation only and It's sold out.
I think there's some more psychological issues that go into the fact that I 'forget' which I swear I really do.... that she's performing... Last week, I remembered that she had a concert... then I went to Jazz, was gonna tell Craig that we could go see it, then I got there and sat down, started talking to people and saw him, and I totally forgot all about it until after 9... by which time of course, it had been over for about 30 minutes.
I didn't mean to forget..... =(
And I'm afraid that she feels bad that I haven't come and thinks that I don't want to see her or something.
I have to be in a historical fashion show for her tomorrow, maybe I'll ask her.
Oh, and the other thing is that I've started gaining weight again. I'm working out just about as much as I was before, but for some reason, (probably my girl issues) I've packed on a good 7 pounds in the last probably... 10 days. LOL... how do you gain 7 pounds in TEN DAYS??? The thing that pisses me off about that, is everyone always says that I don't eat. I freakin' eat! I eat more than I aught to obviously or I woudln't be gaining so much weight and fluxuating back and forth so damn quickly. At work, people get mad at me if I don't eat. At home, my roommate makes fun of me because I don't eat. Everyone thinks I don't eat. They just don't see me eat. lol... if they can't see it, it must not be happening. So, they guilt me into thinking that I don't eat enough, so I eat... then I eat too much, feel like crap, my stomach gets all jacked up and I gain 10 pounds because my stomach isn't supposed to eat as much as people want me to.
I feel like people want me to participate in some kind of gluttonous lifestyle, like... well, I'm eating, you should too... lol... it reminds me of people who use drugs. They always need someone to do them with so they can justify doing them.
And the fucked up part is I know better, and I know most of the time, I shoudln't be eating right now... it'll mess up my stomach... but I do it anyway because people tell me to, and then I feel like crap and it takes 3 days for my stomach to recover.
That's what living with IBS is like. Yes, I've got that. And it's really lame that I give into people telling me to eat when I know better. This week has absolutly sucked in that regard.
AND I've gained almost 10 pounds. lol..
Yeah, sorry... I'm just bitching.
The rest of my life is just fine, though!
K, I'm gonna go now. I've got only a few hours left before I have to be at Tiffany's and I have to go find something new to wear.
Heh... so that means I have to go shopping for something new to wear, since I don't live here anymore... and I didn't pack something else to wear.
GOD I really hate living so damn far away.
Yeah, sorry... probably more info than you wanted.
Seems like every spring/summer time, my body does this though. This will be the third year in a row that I've had issues like this, this time of year. What could this mean, y'think?
And I'm sad that I bought this really freakin' awesome outfit to wear today and It's to god damn big. So I don't have to wear what I was gonna wear, and it was really cute and it makes me mad. Especially since I got it from work and they no longer even have a size that's smaller and I'm totally SOL.
The other thing... is that I'm missing my sister's performance today. I missed it yestserday, and I missed another one she did last week. I feel like a really bad sister. She's amazing and I haven't seen her. I really feel aweful about it. I can't go tonight because I already tripple booked myself as it is, and it's gonna work thank goodness, but only because I made that suggestion to Tiffany to go see Romeo and Juliet AND have her barbque.
Oh and I decided that if I could go to her performance today, I'd go no matter what, but it's reservation only and It's sold out.
I think there's some more psychological issues that go into the fact that I 'forget' which I swear I really do.... that she's performing... Last week, I remembered that she had a concert... then I went to Jazz, was gonna tell Craig that we could go see it, then I got there and sat down, started talking to people and saw him, and I totally forgot all about it until after 9... by which time of course, it had been over for about 30 minutes.
I didn't mean to forget..... =(
And I'm afraid that she feels bad that I haven't come and thinks that I don't want to see her or something.
I have to be in a historical fashion show for her tomorrow, maybe I'll ask her.
Oh, and the other thing is that I've started gaining weight again. I'm working out just about as much as I was before, but for some reason, (probably my girl issues) I've packed on a good 7 pounds in the last probably... 10 days. LOL... how do you gain 7 pounds in TEN DAYS??? The thing that pisses me off about that, is everyone always says that I don't eat. I freakin' eat! I eat more than I aught to obviously or I woudln't be gaining so much weight and fluxuating back and forth so damn quickly. At work, people get mad at me if I don't eat. At home, my roommate makes fun of me because I don't eat. Everyone thinks I don't eat. They just don't see me eat. lol... if they can't see it, it must not be happening. So, they guilt me into thinking that I don't eat enough, so I eat... then I eat too much, feel like crap, my stomach gets all jacked up and I gain 10 pounds because my stomach isn't supposed to eat as much as people want me to.
I feel like people want me to participate in some kind of gluttonous lifestyle, like... well, I'm eating, you should too... lol... it reminds me of people who use drugs. They always need someone to do them with so they can justify doing them.
And the fucked up part is I know better, and I know most of the time, I shoudln't be eating right now... it'll mess up my stomach... but I do it anyway because people tell me to, and then I feel like crap and it takes 3 days for my stomach to recover.
That's what living with IBS is like. Yes, I've got that. And it's really lame that I give into people telling me to eat when I know better. This week has absolutly sucked in that regard.
AND I've gained almost 10 pounds. lol..
Yeah, sorry... I'm just bitching.
The rest of my life is just fine, though!
K, I'm gonna go now. I've got only a few hours left before I have to be at Tiffany's and I have to go find something new to wear.
Heh... so that means I have to go shopping for something new to wear, since I don't live here anymore... and I didn't pack something else to wear.
GOD I really hate living so damn far away.