LJ: Now with 30% More Nipples!!
- The Washer & Dryer were delivered yesterday! So exciting! Now if only I can manage to hook up the gas dryer without blowing up the house. I am a bit nervous about that. I'll be careful, but it still makes me nervous. I put all the gas line parts together last night, but I still need a nipple. I wonder if plumbers make endless nipple jokes? I would. I need a nipple that changes 3/8" up to 1/2". Then I can put it all together and see if anything leaks. We might be up and running tonight. Or we might be in a hotel while the Minneapolis Fire Department extinguishes the embers of my failure. Whatever.
- I'm sick of people complaing about the people complaining about the weather. It's cold. We know you know that we know it's cold. We're going to keep telling you anyway, in case you've forgotten. It's cold enough that:
- If you pee outside, it'll freeze before it hits the ground. You can make your very own urine-stalagmite! (Or is that a stalagtite? I always mix them up.) Note: Beware of shrinkage!
- If you toss a pot of boiling hot water into the air, it will turn to snow. Belinda Jensen even demonstrated it during the 10 o'clock news on KARE last night, but I don't think it's up on their site.
- If you lick a flagpole, you're an idiot. (Do you know where that thing has been?)
- Remember, if you order a pizza this time of year because it's too cold to pick it up yourself: tip the delivery person. They're not out there because they like the weather. You should always tip, anyway, (I'm talking to you, Mr. Pink!) but especially when there's a 200 degree difference between the pizza in the box and the temperature outside your front door. Give 'em a little extra.
Now, I must work.