(no subject)
I've realized that when my life is going well i have no desire to write...anything at all. Whether it be fiction or about my life. Normal Happy everyday life is in a way boring to me so i find no inspiration. but the shit tht i've been through the past few weeks is enough to write a whole novel, not about but the feeling helps me.
since I've been seeing chris my life has been good. I'm still me and a bitch but at lest someone loves me. Well Chris still loves me and i thank god for that because if he didn't i don't know what i would do right now. he's trying, really, to be helpful but he doesn't understand what i need which sometimes makes me think that he really doesn't know me at all.
you see the shit all started a few weeks ago with my car. i found out that i needed major repairs on it so it would be cheaer just to get a new one. the guy said that it might hold up for a few months cause i really don't have the money for one. ma said she'd help me but first dad needed a new car really bad so that comes first. I understand that so i thought that i would save a little from my measly check every 2 weeks and maybe be able to put enough mone aside for a crappy junker.
that went down the drain.
Saturday was a norml day at work for me. I was on the 10-6 shift which wasn't bad except i had to work with reggie and i really can't stand him anymore. I called the late list and reggie was acting kinda weird like he was being nice to me and i couldn't understand it. a lot of the shit he's been doing this week was weird and now i understand why. Ben, our general manager came in around 4:30. He asked me if i heard the rumor and of course i hadn't, no one tells me anything in this store. thats when he dropped the bomb.
"Today's your last day."
"You're joking"
"No. The store's closing. Today is your last day"
"No. You have to be joking."
The real kicker was that everyone else knew except for me.
so now i'm jobless and close to being carless. i can tell that i'm slipping into depression and reverting back to my old habits like not wanting to do anything or go anywhere or see anyone. all i want to do is lay here in bed and be on the computer. Read fanfiction in which everyone and everything turnes out great and pretend that the shit in my life doesn't exist. everytime i think our talk about it i start to cry. Idon't understand it cause i was really starting to hate that job.it wasjust so hard to actually get it. and i've been there for three fucking years and i don't know what to do.
have you ever felt yourself think "i wanna go home" even if your sitting in your living room?
I wanna go home.
since I've been seeing chris my life has been good. I'm still me and a bitch but at lest someone loves me. Well Chris still loves me and i thank god for that because if he didn't i don't know what i would do right now. he's trying, really, to be helpful but he doesn't understand what i need which sometimes makes me think that he really doesn't know me at all.
you see the shit all started a few weeks ago with my car. i found out that i needed major repairs on it so it would be cheaer just to get a new one. the guy said that it might hold up for a few months cause i really don't have the money for one. ma said she'd help me but first dad needed a new car really bad so that comes first. I understand that so i thought that i would save a little from my measly check every 2 weeks and maybe be able to put enough mone aside for a crappy junker.
that went down the drain.
Saturday was a norml day at work for me. I was on the 10-6 shift which wasn't bad except i had to work with reggie and i really can't stand him anymore. I called the late list and reggie was acting kinda weird like he was being nice to me and i couldn't understand it. a lot of the shit he's been doing this week was weird and now i understand why. Ben, our general manager came in around 4:30. He asked me if i heard the rumor and of course i hadn't, no one tells me anything in this store. thats when he dropped the bomb.
"Today's your last day."
"You're joking"
"No. The store's closing. Today is your last day"
"No. You have to be joking."
The real kicker was that everyone else knew except for me.
so now i'm jobless and close to being carless. i can tell that i'm slipping into depression and reverting back to my old habits like not wanting to do anything or go anywhere or see anyone. all i want to do is lay here in bed and be on the computer. Read fanfiction in which everyone and everything turnes out great and pretend that the shit in my life doesn't exist. everytime i think our talk about it i start to cry. Idon't understand it cause i was really starting to hate that job.it wasjust so hard to actually get it. and i've been there for three fucking years and i don't know what to do.
have you ever felt yourself think "i wanna go home" even if your sitting in your living room?
I wanna go home.