memento.
The song is a memento.
“Hi.” he waves casually, as if they just met last week and they’ve been friends for years, and this is just like another meaningless meeting that they always do all the time. It’s just far from the word dramatic or heart-warming, though in fact, both person haven’t mean each other for 5 years. Chanyeol has just finished performing, he is all sweaty- and tired, and he really thought that he must have to hallucinates on things right now.
“Kyungsoo-?” he stares at the man who is currently standing right at the front of him in disbelief, who would expect that at the backstage, he’d be caught in an encounter with someone that he has been giving up for after years.
“Someone has been receiving great royalties from the song, aren’t you? Will I also get paid for that?” Kyungsoo’s tone is calm, but Chanyeol can senses the sarcasm remarks that he throws on to him.
In the literature world, F. Scott Fitzgerald has Zelda. In the film making industry, Woody Allen has Diane Keaton.
Then, for Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo is his muse. Like it or not, hate it or not. It’s just there, ruining Chanyeol’s brain with thousands of ideas and pieces of memories. The boy that he meets for even less than 24 hours has just brought a huge impact within his life in the later years.
“How do you get here?” he asks, while he shoves his guitar at the case, the backstage area is busy, he moves in a quieter corner to make his conversation easier with Kyungsoo, the encore stage has just finished too, so everyone are here only to packed up the rest of the equipment and it will be a wrap soon.
“Ryeowook hyung is my friend,” he mentions, naming one of the head manager of the Korean Concert event, “And I saw your name on the poster, wondering, is it really that Chanyeol from Bali?”
“Bali,” he mutters down, voice almost unheard, “You know, I’ve been looking for you for many years, and it’s just funny how you just- came here, looking easy going and good without any confrontation-”
“Actually, I need to sue you for not coming. Do you know that I waited for you that time?”
“My mother passed away, on the day where we supposed to meet, it’s - sort of unfortunate…”
“Oh,” Kyungsoo’s expression turns dark and surprised, “I’m sorry to hear that,”
“It’s okay, she’s been sick during that time, so we are all prepared for the worst,”
It was a cold winter in Seoul but yet at the same time Bali was glimmering and hot beneath the sun, Chanyeol met Kyungsoo on December, he’s only 18 and just graduated from high school, mindlessly decided to travel by himself as a rewards after the final national exam.
He bumped into Kyungsoo when he got lost on his way at Seminyak Beach, he’s looking for a place to eat that he already researched by on the internet but in the end he got confuse and ended walking non-stop for 1 hour to find on nothing.
“Excuse me, are you korean? I’m trying to find this local restaurant from this map, but it’s just - not there-” he points at the place where the restaurant supposed to be.
“Of course it wasn’t there, it’s closed since last week, the owner wants to change it to be a hair salon.” Kyungsoo reasons,
“Are you free for a tour guide?”
“What?”
“Are you free? I’m on my last day in here and I need someone to show me around, and it seems like you’re alone and-”
“My parents said that I shouldn’t talk to strangers,”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t meant it that way-”
“Haha, I’m just kidding. Yes, I just went back to help my mum to drive by some delivery, we opened a Korean restaurant not so far from here, do you want to eat there, maybe? Seems like you must be hungry by now, and tired for looking for the non existent restaurant…”
Chanyeol is a hopeless romantic type. It just took him a simple 5 minutes to get attracted by Kyungsoo, the tiny frames and sun-kissed skin that makes Kyungsoo looks warm (Chanyeol wasn’t sure why that adjective comes on his mind, but he likes the word ‘warm’) the best to describe Kyungsoo, maybe it’s also his friendliness to approach Chanyeol, or that immense pair of eyes that seems to keep a lot of mystery and secret inside that Chanyeol would love to explore, perhaps also that grin where he can sees Kyungsoo’s gum which makes him happy too, seeing someone smiles always has to be something contagious for Chanyeol, but the effect has never been this big for him.
He remembers that after the lunch, Kyungsoo brings him to walk around the areas, visiting some ancient Hindu temples and showing the religious ceremony that took part on the place too, Chanyeol gets astonished into everything that he sees, a culture that would never been found in his homeland, just like a story teller, Kyungsoo explains on everything to Chanyeol, Chanyeol swears that Kyungsoo should’ve just work as his history teacher because somehow it’s not even making him sleepy at all, listening on the enthusiasm that Kyungsoo tells about the Balinese culture and spiritual places.
He also remembers during the end of the night, Kyungsoo brings him to the bar for a drink, he drinks a vodka while Kyungsoo orders a margarita, they compete on who would drink the most, Chanyeol’s memory has been vague afterwards, but he remembers him saying on things like “My place,” to the taxi cab, Kyungsoo asked back “What’s your hotel address?” and the rest are like a history.
The next morning where he found himself naked, with Kyungsoo clutching perfectly inside his chest, Chanyeol bids goodbye to Kyungsoo. They don’t talk about what has just happened, Chanyeol only promised that he’ll be back next year, at the same date and the same time, where they met for the first time, maybe it was the side effect of the hangover, but Chanyeol and was stupid enough to forgot to exchange their numbers or any contact information.
“Let’s just find a place to talk, I’ve got a flight to catch up on tomorrow morning, you have no idea how much I really miss you!” Chanyeol offers,
“But how about your manager? Don’t you have one?”
“Yeah, he must be somewhere around, handling some stuff, but-” he turned off his phone and puts in inside his pocket again, “Whatever,”
“You know that one day you could get in danger because of that spontaneous act, right? I could be a serial killer back then if you’re unlucky enough.” he hisses, “I know a place to go, nearby here, just follow me.” he grabs Chanyeol’s hand to escapes from the backstage waiting room, Chanyeol could feel that his face would be flushing red by now even by a simple skinship like this. He feels happy, or perhaps the right word to use for now is ‘euphoria’, there’s just flowers that blooms right away inside his heart once he caught on a glimpse of Kyungsoo at the first place.
And so they were seated at a bar called Black Pearl, 15 minutes walking distance from the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, the night is pitch dark after the concert has just finished. Chanyeol brought his guitar too and also his backpacks, Kyungsoo joked that for once again he looks like a lost tourist. They could just quickly adapts and becomes friends like how they used to be during that day, unlike most people who’d just get awkward after years of separating.
“How do I look now?” Kyungsoo blurts after he just ordered two bottles of soju at the korean bar, Chanyeol observes as he moves his eyes by glancing at Kyungsoo from head to toe,
“Cooler? Look at that hair, that clothes,” he points at Kyungsoo’s half shaved hair with a reddish shade, he was wearing a white t-shirt with a leather jacket, “But the face is still naive, how about me?”
“You’re getting younger? I don’t know, maybe it’s the hair cut, the fringe, it’s shorter, and you dyed it brown, you must be aging backwards or had a botox injection,”
“I’m preparing my look, in case I stumbled upon you somewhere,” he giggles,
“Well, I didn’t expect you to be a celebrity after writing a song about me, that must be me right? Obviously? The blatant mention of Bali and beaches and bar on the lyrics, I don’t know that I was that memorable for you,”
“Of course, I had everything on my notes, I know the numbers of the moles that you had on your back too, or how many wrinkles that was shown on your eyes when you smile,”
“Scary.”
“I know, because you really drives me crazy.”
It was a currently on the first place on various online chart, a song called “One Night”, he writes that and composes that by himself, he rarely does that because most of his songs are a collaboration between him and other rappers like Simon D, Primary, or Beenzino, but somehow the one that he writes alone are the most succesful one, even until now it has been on chart since 3 weeks ago. It’s just become big, people joked that it was the second “bar bar bar”, because previously, Chanyeol is not really that popular, he was always around 10th or 15th place when it’s about online chart, he was only famous in some age range and group of people who really likes korean r&b, he knows that his stuff aren’t that boygroup material that would gets him into a fame, but as long as it was the job he has been dreaming on, he wouldn’t mind. A sudden rise of his popularity right now are definitely something unexpected.
“How about you, what are you doing right now in LA?”
“I lived here, I worked as a graphic designer at one of the advertising agency in here,” he answered excitedly, “You wouldn’t expect me to answer that I’m chasing you from Bali to LA right? Because I’m not as scary as you.” Kyungsoo laughs, Chanyeol follows along and laughs too.
“Alone or with your family?” Chanyeol responses back with another question, it seems like there’s just tons of question that he would like to ask to Kyungsoo, but he wasn’t sure if Kyungsoo would really love to answer that, again, he’s pretty mysterious and closeted.
“With my boyfriend,” Kyungsoo sharply answers, “Isn’t he cute?” he showed on a picture of a boy from his wallpaper, Chanyeol startled but tried to control himself, the boy is really cute, very handsome too, it gets Chanyeol a little pressured all of sudden.
“I also have a boyfriend, ha-” he laughs dryly, “Not as handsome as yours, though.” he took out a polaroid from his wallet, “Here,” he says, Kyungsoo looks at the polaroid, there’s a marker with a written word ‘Chanyeol x Baekhyun’ on the white frame.
“Baekhyun is his name?” he looks at the shorter boy on the polaroid that stands beside Chanyeol.
“Yes.” he answers surely.
“Mine in Jongin. In case you meet him.” he smirks, “He’s really adorable, you would love him too, he might look sorta sexy but he’s really a child in heart.”
Chanyeol only shuts his mouth, not really sure what is the best response that he should do. So he only quietly drinks on the soju for the 3rd shot after the first one.
“Wrong timing, huh? We finally meet, we know that we like each other, but you have a boyfriend and I have a boyfriend, and I felt like we’re cheating on them by now.” Kyungsoo states,
“And why would you even asked me to go together with you if you have a boyfriend?”
“And why would you also agree if you have a boyfriend?”
They were caught in a short silence, but then both just laughs over it.
“Did your boyfriend asks about the meaning of the song?” Kyungsoo blurts out,
“Yeah, I just said that it was inspired by the books and movies that I read.”
“But he knows that you travelled to Bali once?”
“I don’t think so…” Chanyeol mutters, “Why can’t we just exchange our number back then,” he weakly smiles, “It would be different if we did that, are we really that young and stupid..”
“You’re the young and stupid one, I’m not. Actually I wanted to exchange our numbers… that time..” Kyungsoo exhales a deep breath. Drinking his soju, it has to be the 5th shots for him.
“But you didn’t do it?”
“I got scared. Like what if it was very perfect and wondrous during one night, but if continue this, it wouldn’t be ended that good? You know, just like a movie sequel? It was a good movie on the first part then they make the second one and it ended awful? You know that kind of feeling right? What if we become like that? We just making the worse out of something that has been wonderful enough by a night?”
“You give up even before you tried, that’s just you being pessimistic,”
“Hey, you’re the one who didn’t come up that time okay?”
“I already told you the reasons!”
“Urgh, fine, maybe we’re not that fated. Destiny hates us, and again, I only have hours before you’ll be gone by the next day, disappeared like the moon, leaving me in despair again.”
“But you have a boyfriend anyway.” Chanyeol points at, “He’s cuter than me,”
“I know, but no one could replace you, in me. It’s just different, it’s like you’re leaving a huge impact inside me and once you’re gone, it’s just leaving a big space that couldn’t be filled anymore, Jongin is nice, but it’s nothing compared to you. I thought that it was only me being a confused teenager, experiencing a first love, but after seeing your name plastered at the concert poster, it’s just back again, that feeling, that I thought has gone.”
“Is it dumb if I admit that I become a rapper just because I wish that I can get popular so that you can recognizes me somewhere and found me, though it’s been late enough, I have debuted for 3 years and you just find out about me after that hit song,” Chanyeol puts on a wide grin, they’ve been pretty wasted that their face keeps experiencing a sudden different emotion from sad to hapy in a quick pace, though Chanyeol has been gloomy a little when Kyungsoo speaks, now he’s smiling again like an innocent kid.
“You know that I’m not updated about the current music, I still listens to old 90s music and you can’t expect me to know about what is going on in Korea right now since I’ve lived in Bali since I was born , I even know popular Indonesian music better than Korean! Maybe I only know Super Junior and SNSD, in my defense.”
“You should know that. I’m a sucker in romance. I worked as a rapper only to wish that it would get me famous so that I could meet the love of my life.”
“But you meet Baekhyun too,”
“But you’re the face that pops in my head when I came,”
“Ew, gross! Park Chanyeol! Now I feel bad about Baekhyun.” he gives Chanyeol a judging glare,
“It’s almost 11, we only have few hours before we gonna wave our farewell again,” Chanyeol cuts the topic, “Do you know what runs through my head right now?”
“Your place or mine?” Kyungsoo randomly blurts, “But mine has Jongin, he must be sleeping by now. He always sleeps early.”
“It’s a pleasure to bring you to my room, then,”
They didn’t look suspicious indeed, they just look like a pair of boys going to the hotel room, nothing intimate at all, and it’s 1 AM anyway, there’s no fans at all at the hotel lobby.
As the moon dissolves from the sky, replaced by a bright morning sun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo was still laying on the bedsheets, the clothes were scattered messily on the floor, he felt lazy and worn out and yawned, then he nuzzles the neck of the tiny guy, whispering things beneath the surface of the skin.
“I don’t want to leave, can we do this again,” he mutters in his deep-husky voice, it’s even huskier in the morning when Chanyeol speaks.
“You should leave,” Kyungsoo checks on his watch, “It’s 7 AM in the morning now, don’t you say that you’re going to have a morning flight back to Seoul?” he side eyes on Chanyeol, kissing the tip of Chanyeol’s nose, “Babe, you gonna miss the flight.”
“Let it be then, rather than missing your body,” he slides his arms on Kyungsoo’s ribs, continue to peppered some kisses on Kyungsoo’s lips, jaw, and neck, leaving Kyungsoo in whimpers when the teeth scraps between the juncture of his neck and shoulder.
“That’s gonna cost a lot, the airplane ticket is expensive, if you’re not leaving by now.”
“Nothing cost more than the missing gap that I’ve been through without you,” he replies sleepily, Kyungsoo snorts on the statement, “That means we’ve got time for a free guitar show later.”
“I’m so gonna miss the flight.” Chanyeol mumbles happily.