Drunken fits
I have very little patience for indecisiveness and even more so when it affects me personally. I'm actually glad the Husband and I have our little sessions now and then because I can only get him opening up when he's smashed.
So when he leans in to tell me "don't wait for me. I don't want to hurt you", it had started to hurt. Convinced that he's no good for me, he has subconcsiously decided to tell me to just turn around and leave, something I would normally find very difficult to do.
The way I see it, admitting that you need help is fine but to completely surrender to it and decide at this juncture that there is nothing positive that would come is a little premature. Perhaps he already saw that I am they type of guy who is in it for the long run. But in my fair defence, I see that telling me to sever ties for both our sakes is a little too drastic.
Drama-filled as the gay world is, I haven't yet declared that he would never be a friend. Yes, he has been supportive and he has played his role well. And yes, there are times when he was a complete dick.
But shouldn't one try to better oneself if you find that one person who just makes everything fine? I am assuming that he just cannot be bothered to put in the effort and as nice as a guy is, that is the make-or-break factor. A relationship is a lot of hard work, not just-add-water nonsense. So if he's not quite ready for it, then he's not ready for it. But his New Year deadline is still active. I just need to figure out how to tell him...
So when he leans in to tell me "don't wait for me. I don't want to hurt you", it had started to hurt. Convinced that he's no good for me, he has subconcsiously decided to tell me to just turn around and leave, something I would normally find very difficult to do.
The way I see it, admitting that you need help is fine but to completely surrender to it and decide at this juncture that there is nothing positive that would come is a little premature. Perhaps he already saw that I am they type of guy who is in it for the long run. But in my fair defence, I see that telling me to sever ties for both our sakes is a little too drastic.
Drama-filled as the gay world is, I haven't yet declared that he would never be a friend. Yes, he has been supportive and he has played his role well. And yes, there are times when he was a complete dick.
But shouldn't one try to better oneself if you find that one person who just makes everything fine? I am assuming that he just cannot be bothered to put in the effort and as nice as a guy is, that is the make-or-break factor. A relationship is a lot of hard work, not just-add-water nonsense. So if he's not quite ready for it, then he's not ready for it. But his New Year deadline is still active. I just need to figure out how to tell him...