a peek into my logic
For some people, it is really easy to make decisions based on the self. They know what's good for them and make whatever finalisations based on their own feelings and what they'll get out of it regardless if anybody gets hurt or is short-changed along the way.
There are others like myself who take a long time deciding. Call me slow if you will or even indecisive but the truth of the matter is that we value the consequences of our actions and work hard at coming to a win-win compromise. More often than not, we'd be happy to sacrifice our own happiness so that there may be happiness in the majority.
But what about when these people decide to be selfish? Is it suddenly much worse than someone who is naturally selfish? Or is it a sign of betrayal to one's pure beliefs?
I tend to put the needs of others before me and that has, on more than one ocassion, put me in a complicated situation that only I could dig myself out of.
This time, it was a sob story... Yes, I'm a huge sucker for unfortunate people being treated unfairly. But this guy was saying that he needed someone to help him get to his 'brother'.
Initially, I was sure that they were blood-related but after a while it dawned on me what these two were. 'Brothers' adopted in the gay context in Brunei basically means "I so totally want to have sex with you but the circumstances aren't favourable at this time because *insert reason* but just in case the opportunity comes up, we'll call ourselves 'brothers' so we may remain close and touch each other intimately without feeling guilty of our actions". I'm not sure if other places such as Malaysia and Singapore practice this sort of pseudo-relationship but this is what I have observed on a personal level for many years. I don't condone such behaviour but I see how some people need to reassure their 'targets' before eventually overwhelming them. Mind you, even the straight people employ this tactic as a means to get closer to someone.
Back to the story...
I felt sorry for the 20-something who didn't have transport in order to be with his 'brother' before forcefully torn apart like two star-crossed lovers 'ala Romeo & Juliet. No sooner than I offered, he asked if I wanted sex in return of the favour. O_o I normally wouldn't need to exchange tasks for sex since it just feels like another form of prostitution. But I was game for it. Sex is sex after all however one works one's way into it.
But as the time draws nearer and the chat moves closer into giving directions, the words lost their sense. I couldn't understand what he was getting at and his instructions were spot on vague and confusing. My questions went unanswered and I contemplated giving up.
I had to start thinking, "is all this trouble worth meeting up with a guy?" His messed up directions and lack of enthusiasm were indicators that maybe I was the one who wanted it more than him.
Perhaps it's all the playing Risk with Hil this week that had me thinking about strategies. Because I knew the guys were thinking of doing something tonight too. Normally, I would be able to fit everything into a schedule and time it just right. But this time, I had to consider resources too. This month has been so tight, I've had to pay for fuel with coins.
But this guy didn't appear to be too excited. He obviously didn't have anything to lose and everything to gain from such a generous person. However, I had a good time with my close friends on the line. That versus the chance that it would be yet another lousy lay sent the mouse clicking on "sign out" and the little red X on the top right corner.
Luckily, his connection was bad so he was already cut off to begin with. I just made sure that when he signed back on, I wasn't available. Also, having zero credit in my phone would make it impossible for him to call. It's not evil... just logical. Too much hard work for something uncertain.
Sure, I raised his hopes by offering a service but I know I would be able to deliver. On his side? I should probably give him a benefit of the doubt but he wasn't making it any simpler.
nonesense directions = couldn't care less
If somebody wanted some of this, they would do anything in their power to get it. Some have showed great resilience and I take my hat off to them (after taking off my pants to them in the first place). They demonstarted the power of knowing what you want and going all out for it.
And when you can't be bothered, I can't be bothered either.
There are others like myself who take a long time deciding. Call me slow if you will or even indecisive but the truth of the matter is that we value the consequences of our actions and work hard at coming to a win-win compromise. More often than not, we'd be happy to sacrifice our own happiness so that there may be happiness in the majority.
But what about when these people decide to be selfish? Is it suddenly much worse than someone who is naturally selfish? Or is it a sign of betrayal to one's pure beliefs?
I tend to put the needs of others before me and that has, on more than one ocassion, put me in a complicated situation that only I could dig myself out of.
This time, it was a sob story... Yes, I'm a huge sucker for unfortunate people being treated unfairly. But this guy was saying that he needed someone to help him get to his 'brother'.
Initially, I was sure that they were blood-related but after a while it dawned on me what these two were. 'Brothers' adopted in the gay context in Brunei basically means "I so totally want to have sex with you but the circumstances aren't favourable at this time because *insert reason* but just in case the opportunity comes up, we'll call ourselves 'brothers' so we may remain close and touch each other intimately without feeling guilty of our actions". I'm not sure if other places such as Malaysia and Singapore practice this sort of pseudo-relationship but this is what I have observed on a personal level for many years. I don't condone such behaviour but I see how some people need to reassure their 'targets' before eventually overwhelming them. Mind you, even the straight people employ this tactic as a means to get closer to someone.
Back to the story...
I felt sorry for the 20-something who didn't have transport in order to be with his 'brother' before forcefully torn apart like two star-crossed lovers 'ala Romeo & Juliet. No sooner than I offered, he asked if I wanted sex in return of the favour. O_o I normally wouldn't need to exchange tasks for sex since it just feels like another form of prostitution. But I was game for it. Sex is sex after all however one works one's way into it.
But as the time draws nearer and the chat moves closer into giving directions, the words lost their sense. I couldn't understand what he was getting at and his instructions were spot on vague and confusing. My questions went unanswered and I contemplated giving up.
I had to start thinking, "is all this trouble worth meeting up with a guy?" His messed up directions and lack of enthusiasm were indicators that maybe I was the one who wanted it more than him.
Perhaps it's all the playing Risk with Hil this week that had me thinking about strategies. Because I knew the guys were thinking of doing something tonight too. Normally, I would be able to fit everything into a schedule and time it just right. But this time, I had to consider resources too. This month has been so tight, I've had to pay for fuel with coins.
But this guy didn't appear to be too excited. He obviously didn't have anything to lose and everything to gain from such a generous person. However, I had a good time with my close friends on the line. That versus the chance that it would be yet another lousy lay sent the mouse clicking on "sign out" and the little red X on the top right corner.
Luckily, his connection was bad so he was already cut off to begin with. I just made sure that when he signed back on, I wasn't available. Also, having zero credit in my phone would make it impossible for him to call. It's not evil... just logical. Too much hard work for something uncertain.
Sure, I raised his hopes by offering a service but I know I would be able to deliver. On his side? I should probably give him a benefit of the doubt but he wasn't making it any simpler.
nonesense directions = couldn't care less
If somebody wanted some of this, they would do anything in their power to get it. Some have showed great resilience and I take my hat off to them (after taking off my pants to them in the first place). They demonstarted the power of knowing what you want and going all out for it.
And when you can't be bothered, I can't be bothered either.