Tomorrow night my soul takes flight!
I am so E-SITED!! OMG I can hardly wait. I just finished picking up the rest of the stuff I wanted to get for the trip, and all I have to do is clean up and pack a little bit. My mom is driving me to the airport around 430am *ugh* but by 10am Monday morning I'll be in LOS ANGELES!!! My home away from home!!
AHHH!
It still hasn't hit me yet.. like I think about it but it really feels just like a pipe dream, that I'll wake up Monday morning and go back to work. I was so sad to leave Staples today... I was awesome at my job, my outgoing extroverted personality worked very well for selling customers on pretty much anything, everyone at my job loved me, and I thought they were all really awesome right back. I will miss them all.. there was not a single person there I didn't like or get along with. I feel terrible for fabricating up such an amazing lie that I was moving to Cowtown but they would not have hired me otherwise. I plan on making goodbye cards for everyone when I return.
So mom is in Cowtown and my dad is in Charlotte. Yet again I'm having another get together. Beer buds and buddies - can't go wrong.
Phil Justin, their 2 friends, me and Sara are gonna get groovy. Hopefully Rukie-Duke can make it too. I miss her! *squee*
Oh fuck I gotta call Heather, email my aunt and uncle my flight info so they can pick me up from the airport, and get some shit done before I leave. But I have all day tomorrow to take care of business.
Ugh, I haven't exercised since like Monday. I feel like such a PIG!! Rawr.
I will have between 475-525$ spending money. YAY :)
I am DEFINATELY updating my wardrobe with some hot, funky, fresh looks from Melrose Ave. Rodeo Dr is probably too expensive for me. I'm not paying 300$ for a fucking top. Fuck that. I have an eye for fashion and bargains ;)
I can't wait to see Markus. Thoughts of him flutter my heart and electrify my soul. I miss him so fucking much, I don't know how I'm gonna deal with leaving him again. I am going to have THE talk to end all talks. I need to know exactly how he feels about me and our relationship and if he is willing to work hard to keep us together. Sometimes I get worried and wonder if he thinks I'm annoying or something. I don't know, guh. I am probably just being paranoid. But I have to know if he is willing to spend the money and inconvenience himself to come see me in October for a weekend. If 3 days are too much to ask of him then this will go nowhere. I didn't mind the 5 hour commute on train and bus to PA to see him, and he reimbursed me which was nice, but there is no way in hell I am gonna be his little bitch. He better not expect me to always be the one to spend the money time and effort to go see him, because that, my friends, is a one-sided relationship, and I am NOT gonna date my fucking self. I have had many people up my ass, including the really hot firefighter who gave me a ride home from work. He has been calling me/texting me nearly everyday, and he lives in the next town over! Considering the fact that my boyfriend who is 3000 miles away calls me 2-3x a week, that's seriously fucking pathetic and I am going to let him know that.
I sound pretty negative, and that's probably because I don't expect much to come of this. I mean I feel like he will keep this together as long as things are convenient for him - that business state of mind pisses me off. It's like anything that is an inconvenience isn't worth it to him (he has very little patience when it comes to anything inconvenient) and that's not gonna fly, because sorry but life is not like that. If he isn't willing to make the sacrifices I am then it's going to kill me to walk away but I will really have no choice - only to spare myself the eventual heartbreak and rejection. :/
Oh well. SHIT. Think happy thoughts, girl! In a day I'll be on my way. :D YAY!!!! And maybe things will work out for us - who knows. We can make it work; I mean we've been dating for 7 months and I bet his feelings for me are still growing. I want to know he loves me; I want him to tell me how he feels about me, I need to know these things. I am extremely outgoing, extroverted, and emotional; I can see behind his eyes the many things he is holding back from telling me. There were so many moments of silence we shared, where the air dripped like gasoline but he didn't dare light the match with his tongue (excerpt from an old poem just surfaced) and I knew he almost came to words but held himself back. That's imbedded in the German culture; his brother is the same way I think. So I will have to pry his feelings out of him whether he likes it or not.
Anyway, I'm gonna go eat and get drunk and be merry. YAY!!!! 1 more day :D :D :D :D
W00T W00T!!!!!!!
AHHH!
It still hasn't hit me yet.. like I think about it but it really feels just like a pipe dream, that I'll wake up Monday morning and go back to work. I was so sad to leave Staples today... I was awesome at my job, my outgoing extroverted personality worked very well for selling customers on pretty much anything, everyone at my job loved me, and I thought they were all really awesome right back. I will miss them all.. there was not a single person there I didn't like or get along with. I feel terrible for fabricating up such an amazing lie that I was moving to Cowtown but they would not have hired me otherwise. I plan on making goodbye cards for everyone when I return.
So mom is in Cowtown and my dad is in Charlotte. Yet again I'm having another get together. Beer buds and buddies - can't go wrong.
Phil Justin, their 2 friends, me and Sara are gonna get groovy. Hopefully Rukie-Duke can make it too. I miss her! *squee*
Oh fuck I gotta call Heather, email my aunt and uncle my flight info so they can pick me up from the airport, and get some shit done before I leave. But I have all day tomorrow to take care of business.
Ugh, I haven't exercised since like Monday. I feel like such a PIG!! Rawr.
I will have between 475-525$ spending money. YAY :)
I am DEFINATELY updating my wardrobe with some hot, funky, fresh looks from Melrose Ave. Rodeo Dr is probably too expensive for me. I'm not paying 300$ for a fucking top. Fuck that. I have an eye for fashion and bargains ;)
I can't wait to see Markus. Thoughts of him flutter my heart and electrify my soul. I miss him so fucking much, I don't know how I'm gonna deal with leaving him again. I am going to have THE talk to end all talks. I need to know exactly how he feels about me and our relationship and if he is willing to work hard to keep us together. Sometimes I get worried and wonder if he thinks I'm annoying or something. I don't know, guh. I am probably just being paranoid. But I have to know if he is willing to spend the money and inconvenience himself to come see me in October for a weekend. If 3 days are too much to ask of him then this will go nowhere. I didn't mind the 5 hour commute on train and bus to PA to see him, and he reimbursed me which was nice, but there is no way in hell I am gonna be his little bitch. He better not expect me to always be the one to spend the money time and effort to go see him, because that, my friends, is a one-sided relationship, and I am NOT gonna date my fucking self. I have had many people up my ass, including the really hot firefighter who gave me a ride home from work. He has been calling me/texting me nearly everyday, and he lives in the next town over! Considering the fact that my boyfriend who is 3000 miles away calls me 2-3x a week, that's seriously fucking pathetic and I am going to let him know that.
I sound pretty negative, and that's probably because I don't expect much to come of this. I mean I feel like he will keep this together as long as things are convenient for him - that business state of mind pisses me off. It's like anything that is an inconvenience isn't worth it to him (he has very little patience when it comes to anything inconvenient) and that's not gonna fly, because sorry but life is not like that. If he isn't willing to make the sacrifices I am then it's going to kill me to walk away but I will really have no choice - only to spare myself the eventual heartbreak and rejection. :/
Oh well. SHIT. Think happy thoughts, girl! In a day I'll be on my way. :D YAY!!!! And maybe things will work out for us - who knows. We can make it work; I mean we've been dating for 7 months and I bet his feelings for me are still growing. I want to know he loves me; I want him to tell me how he feels about me, I need to know these things. I am extremely outgoing, extroverted, and emotional; I can see behind his eyes the many things he is holding back from telling me. There were so many moments of silence we shared, where the air dripped like gasoline but he didn't dare light the match with his tongue (excerpt from an old poem just surfaced) and I knew he almost came to words but held himself back. That's imbedded in the German culture; his brother is the same way I think. So I will have to pry his feelings out of him whether he likes it or not.
Anyway, I'm gonna go eat and get drunk and be merry. YAY!!!! 1 more day :D :D :D :D
W00T W00T!!!!!!!