Comic Update #1 (and final?)
The first actual page is up. It's shit. Absolute crap. I started this last week, as you'll note, when I was studying for my PSATs. I had a nicer comic idea that would actually start an ongoing arc, but that got put on hold so I could put up something. I wasn't going to have time to finish it with the time that was eaten away by PSAT studying, but the point is to make myself draw.
I got yelled at and lectured for working on the comic. The comic greatly upsets my dad. Actually, drawing in general upsets him. My sister draws fairly often, and it used to be everyday that she would oekaki. Lately, I've had little time to practice drawing, but there were more important things. That is why my devART page currently says I'm on hiatus. If you'll notice, I've barely drawn anything for the last few months. "Ron and Ginny" was the last thing I colored in July, and I colored my Machall sketch in August. Wow. Look at that summer productivity.
Dad says I draw too much. He doesn't understand why I spend so much time in something that won't get me anywhere in life. He gets upset when I draw. As I was finishing this comic, he got upset again, and basically gave me this warning tone that said, "You'd better study and stop this nonsense soon. I don't understand your freaking obsession." If you had heard it, you would've heard the exact same thing. My dad is easy to read.
I'd really love to work on this project. I want so badly to practice. The thing is, though, it'd probably put me under more stress. I'm not talking late night last-minute frenzies, I'm talking in-my-face, loud, upsetting lectures and arguments. I'm not kidding. You all know me, and many of you know my dad.
Last week was not fun. I was completely ready to die. It's getting harder and harder to handle my dad, and I'm getting really fucking tired. His one little comment just ... argh. I'm feeling sick and ready to cry, because I don't want to repeat last week. This week, I've felt better, but I'll repeat it, I don't see the point in living anymore. I'm freaking tired of getting yelled at for stupid things, for not doing anything and getting lectured anyway, for not being able to CG ONE STUPID PAGE WITHOUT UPSETTING SOMEONE. It's the little things that get to you.
So yeah. I may just stop this project. Just letting you know.
I want so badly to hear a voice or to hug someone and cry on them.
I am such a fucking brat. Oh, Kim, the hate I feel for you.