Wee! I'm not the last person to post this time!!
Dear Musashi,
Ya-ha! I'm at 5201!! That means I'm one tenth of the way there!! I think that's something, at the very least.
Ok. I'm done. On with the insanity.
The room was cold. Which was such a stupid description for the room, but it was the only thing that came to mind. They had surrounded Phoenix with Cold, her natural enemy, and they took away her air.
That’s how she knew Asphyx was near by.
She wanted to laugh bitterly, but not possessing anything more than shallow oxygen, she was unable to do so. Stupid Rhodon, she thought. He should know better. I can’t avoid Asphyx, he’s never too far away.
She lay on a metal table- a glacier pressed against her back, garbed in her bright red skin tight “uniform” that she had worn for as long as she could remember. Which is to say, for as long as she’d been in the Ward. It was made out of some kind of special material- she’d never bothered to ask what- that was the only thing that would form with her when she shifted to Fire. All other types of clothing would burn away and leave her naked.
She idly wished she could laugh, because right now she’d be laughing hysterically. Wasn’t that just considerate of the scientists? That they’d clothe her.
Except they didn’t want her transforming. That’s why they had Asphyx steal her air, so she couldn’t Burn.
Stupid Asphyx.
I know you’re there. She mouthed, not quite having enough air to form speech either. Just enough to stay alive.
In the Darkness, and the Cold, she was surrounded by her worst enemies with no means to defend herself. She couldn’t do it like Osseus- couldn’t sit alone with her thoughts and enjoy the company. She didn’t like herself enough to do that.
A gentle hand came, stroked her cheek like feathers. She flinched away and the hand withdrew.
Are you happy now? She asked.
Silence.
Did you do this?
Silence.
She closed her eyes. Not that it made a difference, but she felt like doing the action.
No. Of course you didn’t.
Link you weak bitch, Phoenix thought. Link and Lin were both absent from their party. Link. Lin. LinLinkLinLinkLinLin. But Lin was Rhodon’s and that’s why Lin wasn’t here. Link didn’t belong to anyone.
“You should come home, Phoenix.”
The words were spoken in a low, deep, voice, yet its break into the silence shattered her ears.
She let out a cry of pain, and her breathe hitched. The gentleness in his voice tore into her, like thumbscrews under her nails and clamps on the tender parts of her flesh. Tears came down, streams across her cheeks. “My Life stood- a Loaded Gun-” she breathed out, the words coming out in short jerks, her voice fluttering out like a butterfly with a torn wing.
The movement in the room rustled like the wind. Phoenix felt without feeling the hand rest beside her.
Ever so softly a pair of lips brushed against her belly, right below her bellybutton on the bare skin where her shirt and pants didn’t quite meet. The kiss stabbed her more than anything the scientists had ever tried probing into her.
With that the presence was gone, and Phoenix was left in the room with herself once again.
-They won’t let you win, you know.
-I know.
-Then why do you keep on trying?
-I can’t help it. It’s something inside me that won’t let me give up.
-It’s the memory, isn’t it?
-I guess.
-That’s stupid. You don’t remember what a memory is, so how can you know that it’s real?
-I suppose that I don’t.
-Now you’re just being irritating. Stop that.
-I’m sorry.
-No you’re not.
-Well I would be, if I knew why you were irritated.
-Really?
-Really.
-Well, Ok then. I’ll forgive you, even though you’re not sorry.
-I appreciate that.
-He might actually love you.
-I don’t want to talk about him.
-So? That doesn’t mean the problem’s not there.
-It does if I say so.
-This is why you lost, you know. Because you wouldn’t acknowledge the problems you had.
-I thought I lost because of Link.
-That was just a mechanism. There were lots of those.
-Then how can you blame me?
-Because when it comes down to it, you were the one who lost. Therefore, you’re the only one to blame.
-That doesn’t make any sense.
-Yes it does. You just don’t want it to. You never looked at other people. That was your fault too.
-Why should I have looked?
-If you don’t realize that now, then there’s really no use in trying to explain it to you at this point.
-You don’t even know what you’re saying.
-Yes I do.
-Then what is it?
-You’re not alone anymore.
Phoenix opened her eyes. She didn’t know why, or how it even came to her, but for some reason she suddenly remembered something Cassandra once said. In her whispery voice that rang out like moonlight. They won’t be satisfied with just us. They’ll want to make something better, make something new. Something that has all of us. They’ll do it too, but it won’t be quite what they planned.
At the time, Phoenix hadn’t paid any attention. Why should she have? She didn’t pay much attention to anyone Andromeda, but she particularly didn’t think it was anything important, because she didn’t know much about Cassandra at the time. But Cassandra was clairvoyant Excess-Cherubim, just about everything she said was a prophecy. The girl could hardly say “good morning” without it being some foretelling of the future.
Phoenix thought about what it meant to suddenly remember something like this. She stretched out her fingers and began flexing them. The cold was disappearing, and her breathing was coming more easier. Made. Cass had said “made” and is she said “made” then she meant “made.” But the Excess weren’t made, they were modified. Were the scientists going to go one up that now? Have they already? Should she care?
Suddenly something else came, and it this was beginning to disturb her. It was like something was pulling the memories from her when she didn’t even know that she had them. This time it was of the whitecoats standing over her, whispering amongst themselves, saying things that they shouldn’t have been saying but saying it anyway because she shouldn’t have been able to hear them. She’s the strongest fire subject we have, it’s a pity she’s not more cooperative. - It’s a pity this is the limitation to a single element.
They can’t keep doing this. Phoenix thought wildly. They can’t keep manipulating life because it suits them.
Gradually the light was beginning to come back on. It was so gradual that Phoenix hadn’t even realized it at first, so gradual that her eyes didn’t even hurt from having to re-adjust. She shivered. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how the scientists behaved. Things were going all different and that bothered her. They’re just fucking with me, she thought. Trying to mess up my mind even more than it already is. Trying to break me.
But she had enough oxygen now- it must have come back when Asphyx left. So she reached within herself and - shifted.
How can you even begin to explain what it’s like to be pure energy? To suddenly lose everything it was that made you who you were and to become something so much bigger than the boundaries of self.
Phoenix loved how it felt to be fire. She loved it more than she thought anyone had the right loving something. Maybe this was her reason for wanting to leave so badly, after having known what it’s like to be completely unconfined, she wanted to know what it was like to return to a state of being that was unchained.
Returning to flesh always left her disoriented, with a sick feeling in her stomach, and her body feeling incredibly heavy, her very
body like weights. At least she wasn’t in chains now, and it was to her leisure that she could stroll about Iso.
Something was pulled from her mind again, and without warning she wasn’t here anymore she was-
standing in a field of grass, with her arms out stretched, and laughing. Her brother was behind her, she felt that surety without ever having to look behind. Happy, she felt so happy because the sun was shining down and she’d just received a new dress. She looked up at the sky, and saw a bright red-
She gasped. She clung to her head in agony and doubled over to her knees. “What is this?!” She yelled out. “Who is this?!” Because she was positive now, that it wasn’t the work of the scientists. Something else was messing with her mind, making her remember things she couldn’t possibly remember. Was changing the atmosphere so she could easily become free. “What do you want from me?” She demanded.
She expected- she didn’t know what she expected. But whatever it was that she was waiting for wasn’t coming. After several moments
of nothing she was beginning to feel rather stupid.
She sighed. “Well fine then.” She lifted up the palm of her hand and burnt a door into the wall. “I suppose you want me to go find you. I can do that. It’s not like I have something better to do.” She paused in between her door, hovering in a foreign hesitancy that wasn’t like her at all. It was almost as if she knew that her life was about to change drastically, and she wasn’t quite sure if she should go about making that decision. But then she shrugged haphazardly and began walking down the long, quiet corridors.
Mwhahahaha.
Phoenixeiros
Ya-ha! I'm at 5201!! That means I'm one tenth of the way there!! I think that's something, at the very least.
Ok. I'm done. On with the insanity.
The room was cold. Which was such a stupid description for the room, but it was the only thing that came to mind. They had surrounded Phoenix with Cold, her natural enemy, and they took away her air.
That’s how she knew Asphyx was near by.
She wanted to laugh bitterly, but not possessing anything more than shallow oxygen, she was unable to do so. Stupid Rhodon, she thought. He should know better. I can’t avoid Asphyx, he’s never too far away.
She lay on a metal table- a glacier pressed against her back, garbed in her bright red skin tight “uniform” that she had worn for as long as she could remember. Which is to say, for as long as she’d been in the Ward. It was made out of some kind of special material- she’d never bothered to ask what- that was the only thing that would form with her when she shifted to Fire. All other types of clothing would burn away and leave her naked.
She idly wished she could laugh, because right now she’d be laughing hysterically. Wasn’t that just considerate of the scientists? That they’d clothe her.
Except they didn’t want her transforming. That’s why they had Asphyx steal her air, so she couldn’t Burn.
Stupid Asphyx.
I know you’re there. She mouthed, not quite having enough air to form speech either. Just enough to stay alive.
In the Darkness, and the Cold, she was surrounded by her worst enemies with no means to defend herself. She couldn’t do it like Osseus- couldn’t sit alone with her thoughts and enjoy the company. She didn’t like herself enough to do that.
A gentle hand came, stroked her cheek like feathers. She flinched away and the hand withdrew.
Are you happy now? She asked.
Silence.
Did you do this?
Silence.
She closed her eyes. Not that it made a difference, but she felt like doing the action.
No. Of course you didn’t.
Link you weak bitch, Phoenix thought. Link and Lin were both absent from their party. Link. Lin. LinLinkLinLinkLinLin. But Lin was Rhodon’s and that’s why Lin wasn’t here. Link didn’t belong to anyone.
“You should come home, Phoenix.”
The words were spoken in a low, deep, voice, yet its break into the silence shattered her ears.
She let out a cry of pain, and her breathe hitched. The gentleness in his voice tore into her, like thumbscrews under her nails and clamps on the tender parts of her flesh. Tears came down, streams across her cheeks. “My Life stood- a Loaded Gun-” she breathed out, the words coming out in short jerks, her voice fluttering out like a butterfly with a torn wing.
The movement in the room rustled like the wind. Phoenix felt without feeling the hand rest beside her.
Ever so softly a pair of lips brushed against her belly, right below her bellybutton on the bare skin where her shirt and pants didn’t quite meet. The kiss stabbed her more than anything the scientists had ever tried probing into her.
With that the presence was gone, and Phoenix was left in the room with herself once again.
-They won’t let you win, you know.
-I know.
-Then why do you keep on trying?
-I can’t help it. It’s something inside me that won’t let me give up.
-It’s the memory, isn’t it?
-I guess.
-That’s stupid. You don’t remember what a memory is, so how can you know that it’s real?
-I suppose that I don’t.
-Now you’re just being irritating. Stop that.
-I’m sorry.
-No you’re not.
-Well I would be, if I knew why you were irritated.
-Really?
-Really.
-Well, Ok then. I’ll forgive you, even though you’re not sorry.
-I appreciate that.
-He might actually love you.
-I don’t want to talk about him.
-So? That doesn’t mean the problem’s not there.
-It does if I say so.
-This is why you lost, you know. Because you wouldn’t acknowledge the problems you had.
-I thought I lost because of Link.
-That was just a mechanism. There were lots of those.
-Then how can you blame me?
-Because when it comes down to it, you were the one who lost. Therefore, you’re the only one to blame.
-That doesn’t make any sense.
-Yes it does. You just don’t want it to. You never looked at other people. That was your fault too.
-Why should I have looked?
-If you don’t realize that now, then there’s really no use in trying to explain it to you at this point.
-You don’t even know what you’re saying.
-Yes I do.
-Then what is it?
-You’re not alone anymore.
Phoenix opened her eyes. She didn’t know why, or how it even came to her, but for some reason she suddenly remembered something Cassandra once said. In her whispery voice that rang out like moonlight. They won’t be satisfied with just us. They’ll want to make something better, make something new. Something that has all of us. They’ll do it too, but it won’t be quite what they planned.
At the time, Phoenix hadn’t paid any attention. Why should she have? She didn’t pay much attention to anyone Andromeda, but she particularly didn’t think it was anything important, because she didn’t know much about Cassandra at the time. But Cassandra was clairvoyant Excess-Cherubim, just about everything she said was a prophecy. The girl could hardly say “good morning” without it being some foretelling of the future.
Phoenix thought about what it meant to suddenly remember something like this. She stretched out her fingers and began flexing them. The cold was disappearing, and her breathing was coming more easier. Made. Cass had said “made” and is she said “made” then she meant “made.” But the Excess weren’t made, they were modified. Were the scientists going to go one up that now? Have they already? Should she care?
Suddenly something else came, and it this was beginning to disturb her. It was like something was pulling the memories from her when she didn’t even know that she had them. This time it was of the whitecoats standing over her, whispering amongst themselves, saying things that they shouldn’t have been saying but saying it anyway because she shouldn’t have been able to hear them. She’s the strongest fire subject we have, it’s a pity she’s not more cooperative. - It’s a pity this is the limitation to a single element.
They can’t keep doing this. Phoenix thought wildly. They can’t keep manipulating life because it suits them.
Gradually the light was beginning to come back on. It was so gradual that Phoenix hadn’t even realized it at first, so gradual that her eyes didn’t even hurt from having to re-adjust. She shivered. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how the scientists behaved. Things were going all different and that bothered her. They’re just fucking with me, she thought. Trying to mess up my mind even more than it already is. Trying to break me.
But she had enough oxygen now- it must have come back when Asphyx left. So she reached within herself and - shifted.
How can you even begin to explain what it’s like to be pure energy? To suddenly lose everything it was that made you who you were and to become something so much bigger than the boundaries of self.
Phoenix loved how it felt to be fire. She loved it more than she thought anyone had the right loving something. Maybe this was her reason for wanting to leave so badly, after having known what it’s like to be completely unconfined, she wanted to know what it was like to return to a state of being that was unchained.
Returning to flesh always left her disoriented, with a sick feeling in her stomach, and her body feeling incredibly heavy, her very
body like weights. At least she wasn’t in chains now, and it was to her leisure that she could stroll about Iso.
Something was pulled from her mind again, and without warning she wasn’t here anymore she was-
standing in a field of grass, with her arms out stretched, and laughing. Her brother was behind her, she felt that surety without ever having to look behind. Happy, she felt so happy because the sun was shining down and she’d just received a new dress. She looked up at the sky, and saw a bright red-
She gasped. She clung to her head in agony and doubled over to her knees. “What is this?!” She yelled out. “Who is this?!” Because she was positive now, that it wasn’t the work of the scientists. Something else was messing with her mind, making her remember things she couldn’t possibly remember. Was changing the atmosphere so she could easily become free. “What do you want from me?” She demanded.
She expected- she didn’t know what she expected. But whatever it was that she was waiting for wasn’t coming. After several moments
of nothing she was beginning to feel rather stupid.
She sighed. “Well fine then.” She lifted up the palm of her hand and burnt a door into the wall. “I suppose you want me to go find you. I can do that. It’s not like I have something better to do.” She paused in between her door, hovering in a foreign hesitancy that wasn’t like her at all. It was almost as if she knew that her life was about to change drastically, and she wasn’t quite sure if she should go about making that decision. But then she shrugged haphazardly and began walking down the long, quiet corridors.
Mwhahahaha.
Phoenixeiros