My Mother and Gay Marriage
I want to start by saying, I love my mother, I love her to death. She raised me well and has always supported me and my decisions. That being said, I can't understand how she raised me to be so acceoting, yet she is not herself.
Tonight she wanted to ask my opinion of gay marriage. Now normally this would not become an awkward conversation, if you know me, but with my mom, it is very awkward.
Now my mom raised me to accept everyone as they are, the good and the bad. She raised me a catholic, and part of that is "love thy neighbor as thy self" and "God made us as we are" and "we are not here to be the judge, but live the life we want god to judge us upon." All wonderful lessons which I took to heart and I believe I live to the best of my ability. I have always had gay men in my life and I never thought anything of it. They were who they were. The costume desinger at our community theater and his partner, my brothers best friend in high school, my best friends in college, all gay all loved, even by my mom. But my mother actually told me this: I can accept them as your friends and as gay, but if my own children ever turned out gay, that would be another story. That is my mom in a nutshell.
So gay marriage. She wanted my opinion and I told her. I don't see a reason for it not to be legal. My friends, gay or striaght, all deserve the same rights. I shouldn't get perks because I fall into the norm.
My mom then asked me about alcoholics. That gay marriage was like alcoholism, it is a bad addiction and we should not give them incentive to continue and by allowing gay marriage, we were giving incentive to gays to continue being gay. My mom truly believes being gay is an unforgivable sin and that god will judge them.
I told her it is not my place to judge, that it is not my right to judge and I am no better than my friends to judge them. She told me it wasn't about judgement, but controlling addictions.
We talked a little bit about some of the legal things that were accepted and not for gay marriages and common law marriages and I pointed out some flaws on both sides. Gay couples don't have the next of kin rights and straight and gays marry each other, legally, simply for the tax breaks, no other reason. My mom knows its been going on for decades.
Then I pointed out that I have made a destinction in my mind, one that I truly feel she needs to make. A seperation of church and state. As it should be. That I cannot think of a single LEGAL reason two consenting adults cannot marry. That shut my mother up. SHe actually sat and thought about that. There is no reason to not allow it, unless you bring your religious views into it, which, by the way, those handfull of bible passages they love to throw out, they themselves break about 5 dozens "unbreakable rules" daily, with their typical lives. Gays break two or three, they about 600. Who's evil now??
My mom is going to talk to her priest about it, the new hot button topic at the church, and get back to me. I'll call this round a win. My mom really needs to realize she can never change my mind, just like I know I can never change hers. I know we'll both want to, but I don't think we ever will.
Tonight she wanted to ask my opinion of gay marriage. Now normally this would not become an awkward conversation, if you know me, but with my mom, it is very awkward.
Now my mom raised me to accept everyone as they are, the good and the bad. She raised me a catholic, and part of that is "love thy neighbor as thy self" and "God made us as we are" and "we are not here to be the judge, but live the life we want god to judge us upon." All wonderful lessons which I took to heart and I believe I live to the best of my ability. I have always had gay men in my life and I never thought anything of it. They were who they were. The costume desinger at our community theater and his partner, my brothers best friend in high school, my best friends in college, all gay all loved, even by my mom. But my mother actually told me this: I can accept them as your friends and as gay, but if my own children ever turned out gay, that would be another story. That is my mom in a nutshell.
So gay marriage. She wanted my opinion and I told her. I don't see a reason for it not to be legal. My friends, gay or striaght, all deserve the same rights. I shouldn't get perks because I fall into the norm.
My mom then asked me about alcoholics. That gay marriage was like alcoholism, it is a bad addiction and we should not give them incentive to continue and by allowing gay marriage, we were giving incentive to gays to continue being gay. My mom truly believes being gay is an unforgivable sin and that god will judge them.
I told her it is not my place to judge, that it is not my right to judge and I am no better than my friends to judge them. She told me it wasn't about judgement, but controlling addictions.
We talked a little bit about some of the legal things that were accepted and not for gay marriages and common law marriages and I pointed out some flaws on both sides. Gay couples don't have the next of kin rights and straight and gays marry each other, legally, simply for the tax breaks, no other reason. My mom knows its been going on for decades.
Then I pointed out that I have made a destinction in my mind, one that I truly feel she needs to make. A seperation of church and state. As it should be. That I cannot think of a single LEGAL reason two consenting adults cannot marry. That shut my mother up. SHe actually sat and thought about that. There is no reason to not allow it, unless you bring your religious views into it, which, by the way, those handfull of bible passages they love to throw out, they themselves break about 5 dozens "unbreakable rules" daily, with their typical lives. Gays break two or three, they about 600. Who's evil now??
My mom is going to talk to her priest about it, the new hot button topic at the church, and get back to me. I'll call this round a win. My mom really needs to realize she can never change my mind, just like I know I can never change hers. I know we'll both want to, but I don't think we ever will.