greensleeves: a good thought about myself
tonight, i was curled up beneath my blanket, wrapped up in a book that is turning out to be amazingly engrossing; I had Nora Roberts completely wrong if I thought she only wrote sappy romance novels about brawny men and slender swooning women. after a time it came to my attention-- my body's first, in the form of a deep shiver-- that what i now know is called brontide (low, rumbling thunder) was rippling overhead. naturally my pulse quickened and after texting mathias a few minutes i couldn't resist any longer. i took my camera and went out onto the balcony to find a deep abode-red sky fading up into an almost black scarlet and soft rain, and that faint bone-trembling thunder.
i have written lately of things i hope someone loves me for someday, and now i know one that i love about myself: i am a great many things some good, some bad, some both; and tonight again it was brought to my attention that i am also something else. i am the kind of person who stands outside in the rain with a camera, taking pictures of wet pavement and dappled stone. i am the kind of person who lies on his back on warm cement, stretching his arms to tilt a camera lens in different directions searching for the perfect angle.
i am a person who spends an hour or two this way, perfectly content to watch and wait and press the shutter button on falling rain, on puddles and flared lamps, on passersby, then leap up and race on tiptoe through a chilly apartment and out the door to take more pictures on the landing and spend a little while simply leaning against the stone to watch it rain before coming back inside to my book and my Beethoven/Mozart/Dustin O'Halloran/Kaki King/Aphex Twin/Respighi playlist, melting into a warm blanket, clever words and the sounds of piano, strings and various electronic components for another evening.
i am content.
and this is good.
i have written lately of things i hope someone loves me for someday, and now i know one that i love about myself: i am a great many things some good, some bad, some both; and tonight again it was brought to my attention that i am also something else. i am the kind of person who stands outside in the rain with a camera, taking pictures of wet pavement and dappled stone. i am the kind of person who lies on his back on warm cement, stretching his arms to tilt a camera lens in different directions searching for the perfect angle.
i am a person who spends an hour or two this way, perfectly content to watch and wait and press the shutter button on falling rain, on puddles and flared lamps, on passersby, then leap up and race on tiptoe through a chilly apartment and out the door to take more pictures on the landing and spend a little while simply leaning against the stone to watch it rain before coming back inside to my book and my Beethoven/Mozart/Dustin O'Halloran/Kaki King/Aphex Twin/Respighi playlist, melting into a warm blanket, clever words and the sounds of piano, strings and various electronic components for another evening.
i am content.
and this is good.