Jun 15, 2009 02:54
dear god:
this is where i beg you
if you're real
to please
take this away.
he's supposed to be gone.
we brought him back to break my heart again,
and it worked: i don't feel him as a presence any longer, or think of him in the sense that he's someone who could come back to me if i pray hard enough.
i have let go of him in the present tense,
but that has been replaced now
by this...
...this whatever this is,
in which i realize that it is really and truly done, over, finished, ended,
and i feel so small
and so hurt
and outside of friendships,
alone.
and i love my friends
but sometimes at night
like right now
it starts to hurt really, really badly.
and so
this is me asking
if you're real
or asking whoever or whatever might be around,
to please...
...i don't know
loneliness,
thinking,
monday,
prayer,
sadness,
summer,
hurt,
june,
aching