breathe in, breathe out
Marci felt it too- the death.
He felt the death, too.
Am I just overdramatic, then, that I can't just say "Okay, it's over and Sam is dead (sts) and I'm going to move on now", that I'm still finding myself frozen and breathless at times- that even right now talking about him with Marci is giving me the strong feeling that I am going to vomit, though there's nothing in my stomach?
We changed the subject so swiftly.
Always changing the subject, me. I cannot talk or think about him very long.
I don't think it's that cut and dry for him. It couldn't be, after everything.
He's just better at not letting it crush him underneath it.
I almost wish I could spend the rest of my life not having dealt with it. That I'll never return from the Chrysalis again, stay shut safely inside this place, muffled and untouchable. Muted.
But it isn't my nature to be muted, as hard as I try. There's a reason volume comes with controls, and mine is supposed to be at eleven.
If only I could open my mouth again.
He felt the death, too.
Am I just overdramatic, then, that I can't just say "Okay, it's over and Sam is dead (sts) and I'm going to move on now", that I'm still finding myself frozen and breathless at times- that even right now talking about him with Marci is giving me the strong feeling that I am going to vomit, though there's nothing in my stomach?
We changed the subject so swiftly.
Always changing the subject, me. I cannot talk or think about him very long.
I don't think it's that cut and dry for him. It couldn't be, after everything.
He's just better at not letting it crush him underneath it.
I almost wish I could spend the rest of my life not having dealt with it. That I'll never return from the Chrysalis again, stay shut safely inside this place, muffled and untouchable. Muted.
But it isn't my nature to be muted, as hard as I try. There's a reason volume comes with controls, and mine is supposed to be at eleven.
If only I could open my mouth again.