Amber Retells the Classics #1: The Odyssey
*Odysseus*"I don't wanna go to war! My wife just had a baby or whatever!"
*Athena*"Too bad,so sad!"
*Odysseus*"I'll never defeat Troy!"
*Poseidon*"Go go gadget Cthulu!"
*Odysseus*"Hey! Check it out! I defeated Troy all by myself!"
*Athena*...
*Poseidon*"Screw you, meat bag! Now you can never go home. Ingrate! Man, Athena, your guy here is a real d-bag!"
(Odysseus wanders around for 10 years. Stuff happens. People get turned into pigs and cannibalized, there's the Underworld adventure. There's a hot chick on an island, some wind, Odysseus is a douche some more and some sirens. The ocean monster of infinity almost eats him)
*Odysseus*"Hey Poseidon, I'm really sorry. Thanks for that help with Troy."
*Poseidon*"Okay, you can go home now. You should probably hurry too because your wife is running out of excuses to not go through with that retarded promise you made her make about marrying some other d-bag."
(Odysseus goes home, shoots an arrow through a bunch of rings and kills some fools)
*Telemachus* "Daddy!"
*Penelope* "Husband!"
*Ithaca* "What the crap? You just killed TWO generations of men, you epic d-bag! We're gonna murder you dead!"
*Athena* "No you're not!"
*Odysseus* "Roflcopters. Goddesses love me."
*Athena* "Odysseus, you're a douche."
THE END
*Athena*"Too bad,so sad!"
*Odysseus*"I'll never defeat Troy!"
*Poseidon*"Go go gadget Cthulu!"
*Odysseus*"Hey! Check it out! I defeated Troy all by myself!"
*Athena*...
*Poseidon*"Screw you, meat bag! Now you can never go home. Ingrate! Man, Athena, your guy here is a real d-bag!"
(Odysseus wanders around for 10 years. Stuff happens. People get turned into pigs and cannibalized, there's the Underworld adventure. There's a hot chick on an island, some wind, Odysseus is a douche some more and some sirens. The ocean monster of infinity almost eats him)
*Odysseus*"Hey Poseidon, I'm really sorry. Thanks for that help with Troy."
*Poseidon*"Okay, you can go home now. You should probably hurry too because your wife is running out of excuses to not go through with that retarded promise you made her make about marrying some other d-bag."
(Odysseus goes home, shoots an arrow through a bunch of rings and kills some fools)
*Telemachus* "Daddy!"
*Penelope* "Husband!"
*Ithaca* "What the crap? You just killed TWO generations of men, you epic d-bag! We're gonna murder you dead!"
*Athena* "No you're not!"
*Odysseus* "Roflcopters. Goddesses love me."
*Athena* "Odysseus, you're a douche."
THE END